Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

Hi,

I'm in my mid thirties, rather accomplished, with a very good job (tech) that I like, family with 2 kids etc. I drink way too much however and I fear I'm already borderline alcoholic. I've recently found this 'high functioning alcoholism' term and realized this is me. Which scares me a lot. I do know people that drink a lot in my family (I'm from eastern Europe...) and until recently I've never considered myself similar to them. For the record, I'm drinking on average 5 evenings per week, between half and a full bottle of wine (which is not that much, certainly I got used to it, so it doesn't put me in the drunk mode neither).

I keep an 'inner scorecard' which means I evaluate myself against what I used to be, and what I think I can accomplish (did I perform / accomplish something up to my potential, or did I just did a half-ass effort). Funnily enough, I always somehow discarded alcohol as a factor, justifying it (to myself) that it's not that influencing. Which is of course false. I should add that I work in the evenings very often (I love what I do btw) and most of those time, I drink too when working.

What made me realize this problem much more efficiently was running. I started quite recently and did some tests - how I perform, with the same training scheme, with and without alcohol for a period of time. Numbers don't lie. I run much better and also feel better.

As to why I'm drinking when I'm working alone, I don't really know (other than I like the taste). Not necessarily to forget problems or something. With perspective, this amounts to huge chunks of time, which certainly impacts my work on side projects / business. Sometimes I think I drink because I'm scared to actually succeed with this side stuff, and somehow unconsciously I sabotage myself.

Are / were you in this situation ? If you managed to stop, I would appreciate the 'how'.

5 nights a week half a bottle of wine isn't an alcoholic. It's drinking too much.

If you're at a bottle of wine s night that's certainly too much.

You've got a poor habit that's all. Just put a system in of deferring first drink, going to bed s bit earlier i.e. Before the last drink, and ensure you have a glass of water and a cup of tea between each glass. That'll reduce the amount you drink by s glass or two.

You're fine.

My good friend, who IS an alcoholic, drinks a 750ml bottle of vodka in a night.

I drank for years and years thinking I was "high functioning". I quit drinking using Naltrexone, following the "Sinclair Method". In my opinion it's a far more rational and reasonable treatment program as compared to AA's 12 step (which never worked for me).

I was in a very very similar situation, working as a software engineer on highly important safety critical systems I was at the peek of my career and very successful. But I was working way too hard, not sleeping and drinking more and more booze. It was OK but borderline. Then a couple of issues pushed me over the limit, and the booze intake got higher and higher. It took probably 3 years of gradual decline before I had just about shutdown, work was about to fire me and I was in severe mental shutdown. Luckily a friend helped me realise I had a problem, I got help and after a further 3 years I am much better. However it was a close run thing and I think if it had carried on I would have ended up dead. You have managed to realise you have a problem early enough that you can fix it.