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Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

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Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#61

Post by drinchev »

Coming from the Balkans, we also like to drink while having dinner.

I'm drinking usually 1/2 to 3/4 bottle of wine with my wife ( 3 glasses ~ 3/4 of 750ml ) and it's like shocking to see how people around us react on that fact.

In Germany, people are very secretive on their alcohol consumption, although I've seen germans having 5 beers on Friday, instead of having a beer per day - they usually don't share those stories. This makes me feel like I'm having an alcohol problem as well ... but.

On the contrary, when I was in Portugal, people usually had a glass of wine for lunch every day.

Keep in mind that Moderate consumption [1], according to wikipedia is 300ml per day for men ( bottle is 750 ).

I think your problem is more of a "am I loosing control" kind of a problem, so you can just stop drinking for a while ( usually I don't drink any alcohol or coffee in January - cleaning my body ) and replace the glass on your computer with a cup of tea.

1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_effects_of_wine#Moderat...

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#62

Post by yabatopia »

hguhghuff wrote: post #3

5 nights a week half a bottle of wine isn't an alcoholic. It's drinking too much. If you're at a bottle of wine s night that's certainly too much. You've got a poor habit that's all. Just put a system in of deferring first drink, going to bed s bit earlier i.e. Before the last drink, and ensure you have a glass of water and a cup of tea between each glass. That'll reduce the amount you drink by s glass or two. You're…

It's not just the consumption and how it affects you. You also have to consider the effect of your alcohol consumption on others, especially your significant other, kids, family or friends.

Maybe you're feeling fine with one bottle of wine every night, but I highly doubt your partner or kids feel the same way. You may not notice it (because your intoxicated, after all), but a bottle of wine does affect your behaviour. Forgetting things, repeating yourself, being annoyed more quickly, incoherent stories, some verbal aggression... all minor things you may not notice, but the people around you do. And they don't like it.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#63

Post by dazc »

lloeki wrote: post #25
dazc wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's possible but I have lived with an alcoholic and, from my experience, I'd say two things to this. One - voluntarily admitting he has a problem is a major clue that he isn't an alcoholic. Two - half to one bottle of wine wouldn't touch the sides with my ex who would easily do that amount before breakfast without anyone even knowing.

What makes me react to your comment is that it has the potential to be damaging to people that are coming to terms with denial of their addiction. > voluntarily admitting he has a problem is a major clue that he isn't an alcoholic. Someone voluntarily admitting he has an addiction problem is the first step for him to fix this problem. Always. Ever. Being alcoholic is having an addiction to alcohol. Quantity only matt…

He said 'I'm drinking on average 5 evenings per week...'

This, for me, doesn't sound like someone with an addiction issue.

You make some fair points but I was trying to give the guy a bit of encouragement that his problem is not so great that he can't just snap out of it.

Apologies for any offence.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#65

Post by hacalox »

radicalbyte wrote: post #23

My father in law was the same until he was diagnosed with liver cancer three years ago. I never really knew him before then because he was always drunk. By high functioning you mean you sit in the corner getting drunk every evening whilst ignoring your wife and kids? Fighting with them on a regular basis because you're sozzled? Since then hasn't touched a drop and I've got a father in law. My children have got a gran…

I don't think he is like your father in law, not even close. He drinks way less than your father in law, and he is having this concerns because of people like you. You are judging him like he is drinking a bottle of vodka every day.

To the OP, don't worry. I'm from Spain, and hey man, you are totally fine. Drinking 5 nights a day? Half bottle of wine? And you call that drinking? Not really, come on vacation to Spain and you will see that's totally fine, no one is missing their duties for having 2 or 3 cups of wine when having dinner. Even my mum drinks more than that :P be positive.

I think your problem is not that you drink much, is more about you might feel like you can't quit drinking. Like others have said, I would suggest you purging yourself or quiting on drinking for a short period of time so you can feel you can control your drinking and not the other way around.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#66

Post by DanBC »

SirLJ wrote: post #64

half bottle of wine = 2 glasses - this is not alcoholism, just talk to someone from France, this is just for lunch...

1 standard glass is 125 ml at 8% ABV.

2 * 125 = 250 ml, which is 1/3rd of a bottle.

Most wine is stronger than 8% ABV, and so the portion size should be smaller.

Note that France used to have high rates of alcohol related harm, but have managed to reduce those after a long public health campaign of raising prices and lowering drink drive limits.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#67

Post by summerinthecity »

The only way to handle alcoholism, regardless of the level, is to quit and never drink alcohol again. I suppose you not yet reached the sole where you can't avoid anymore to face this only solution. I suffer from this disease since 27 years, sober since 14 and had also my time of high functionality, drinking while going for my degree in IT. If you are already a daily consumer it can quickly escalate to the point where the physical addiction kicks in. Just stop it now completely. No other advice.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#68

Post by summerinthecity »

summerinthecity wrote: post #67

The only way to handle alcoholism, regardless of the level, is to quit and never drink alcohol again. I suppose you not yet reached the sole where you can't avoid anymore to face this only solution. I suffer from this disease since 27 years, sober since 14 and had also my time of high functionality, drinking while going for my degree in IT. If you are already a daily consumer it can quickly escalate to the point wher…

Just realized I did not answer your question 'how' to stop. I did a few things which helped. Be mindful and look out for HALT (hungry, angry, lonesome, tired). Try to avoid these. Whenever you feel the need to consume, drink a glass of water. Use this as a mock. It will flatten the craving. Try to shift addictions to something healthy. Go for a run, do push-ups or planks whenever you feel the need. If you want to unmask the core of your addictive behaviour you will need professional help from a therapist. Hope this helps. Good luck.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#70

Post by mindvirus »

Here's what worked for me. Like you, I found things were long-term better when I wasn't drinking, but short term drinking helped.

1. I talked to a psychologist. I drank largely because of personal anxiety, and alcohol really helped take the edge off. The doctor gave me sertraline (zoloft) which was a night-and-day improvement. The anxiety was gone, and I felt like a human being again. This reduced my desire to drink.

2. I set rules for myself. I still drink, but no more than 2 drinks a night, never two nights in a row, and only deliberately (when I want a drink, rather than when I'm with people who are drinking). I break these rules sometimes, but it's a baseline which I measure myself against. I made it into a sort of self-discipline game for myself - i.e. proving to myself that I had the willpower to show restraint.

3. I got comfortable ordering non-alcoholic drinks in bars. I always go for a tonic-water with a lime. When I'm out with friends and not drinking, I always split the bill evenly though.

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