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How to Tell If You’re a Jerk

nautil.us

41–50 of 58 posts

Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk

#42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Someone once told me how polite I was even when being an asshole. I took that as a high compliment.

Well, bless your heart.

For those that missed it "Bless your heart" is a very typical "southern" (US) insult; it's a condescending statement of pity and yet mild enough for polite company.

Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk

#44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, bless your heart.

For those that missed it "Bless your heart" is a very typical "southern" (US) insult; it's a condescending statement of pity and yet mild enough for polite company.

I can't figure out if the person who down-voted me got it or missed it.

Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk

#45
post #39

Shock, HN users are jerks

Its a little disappointing to see that half of the comments are people defending their actions to no one in particular, justifying why they act like a jerk but aren't necessarily a jerk.

Its not like being a jerk/sweetheart is some binary or mutually exclusive relation, but it seems like this article struck a chord with a lot of users.

Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk

#46
So here's the ultimate, highly scientific jerkness test proposed by the article: Think about this article sometime later today, sometime when you are surrounded by other people—maybe in the lunch line, or at a department meeting, or at a party, or in a crowded plaza. Notice the people around you. Are they fools and tools, or do they sparkle with interesting individuality?

Exactly what kind of individuality sparkles do most people in a crowded plaza emit? Their clothes, face expression at that moment, pace of walk?

The danger in this kind of whooshy-mooshy is that some people might start to believe that these things do constitute an individuality. To the benefit of the fashion industry, and probably to our loss as a society.

Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk

#47
Just remind yourself daily that life is incredibly complex, that simplicity, except in the rarest of cases, is a myth (if you finally 'have the answer' you've only decided which lie you're most comfortable believing), that the global socio-economic system we are a part of has more moving parts than any one person could conceivably grapple with let alone understand, and that almost everyone, almost all the time, is working off a best guess. In other words, don't play the blame game, demand much of yourself, demand little of others, and appreciate everything you have, which, as soon as it's under your nose, becomes light, airy, invisible--until it has suddenly evaporated. We're all prey and prone to our own little fantasies--we live our fictions. That's why the madman laughs. His hoarse chuckle is not a sudden aberration or break, not the unfortunate collapse of some 'right' mentality but the final, total dissolution of an imposition--the breaking of the yoke.

Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk

#48
post #35

Are you surrounded by fools and non-entities, by people with bad taste and silly desires, by boring people...... If this is how the world regularly looks to you, then I have bad news. Likely, you are the jerk. This ....is not how the world actually is. Could be. Or you could be surrounded by boring people with bad taste. Can we say honestly say those don't exist? Or don't exist in large groups? Except when it's truly…

I feel the same way. As a society, we are constantly hammered on concepts like "everyone rates themselves as a B+ driver even if they aren't." What about when you really are an A+ driver though?

Same goes with any form of exceptionalism. Everyone thinks they are smart, everyone thinks they are above average, etc. If you truly are exceptional, and everyone around truly is not as smart as you are, how would you know?

According to all studies, we all think that, and we are all full of shit.

Re: How to Tell If You’re a Jerk

#50
post #39

Shock, HN users are jerks

Its a little disappointing to see that half of the comments are people defending their actions to no one in particular, justifying why they act like a jerk but aren't necessarily a jerk. Its not like being a jerk/sweetheart is some binary or mutually exclusive relation, but it seems like this article struck a chord with a lot of users.

my theory is that the smarter you are, the more likely you are to try to justify behaviors that you are not necessarily aligned with
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