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Steve Jurvetson is out at his own VC firm after allegations of sexual harassment

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Re: Steve Jurvetson is out at his own VC firm after allegations of sexual harassment

#171
post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know this might not be a popular opinion. But I've basically instituted a modified version of this rule for myself. Billy Graham and Mike Pence are definitely not a fountain a good ideas, but that doesn't mean this rule is that bad, despite the nonsense place it comes from. Whenever I need to have after work dinner/social communication with a female associate after 5:00pm, I just go out of my way to invite another…

What's your insinuation about being alone with a woman being unsafe? That you don't trust yourself not to do something inappropriate or that you don't trust the woman not to make up a false accusation? When you go shopping do you take a chaperone so as to keep yourself out of a potentially unsafe shoplifting situation? We're all always adjacent to a potential crime or difficult situation. But we're not supposed to li…

I am not worried that if I'm alone with a woman I will suddenly become a monster. I'm also not really worried about false accusations.

What I'm really worried about is keeping myself out of situations where mutual feelings of physical attraction develop. This could lead to situations that threaten my work and family.

I had an uncle who was a Catholic priest. They are not allowed to spend time alone with nuns, and I think its the same idea.

Back to your analogy.... I don't bring a chaperone to the grocery store to prevent myself from shoplifting. But I definitely bring my wallet. I also try to shop AFTER dinner rather than BEFORE, because when I shop while hungry it completely changes my buying behavior. I view this as the same thing.

I want to provide fertile ground for the type of relationships that I want to have, and make it difficult for the kinds that I am avoiding to even get started.

Re: Steve Jurvetson is out at his own VC firm after allegations of sexual harassment

#172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I avoid women in my professional life as much as I possible can. My work is in politics, and if I absolutely must work with a woman, I do all I can to make that interaction as open, transparent, documented, and inclusive with others as possible. You will never catch me alone in an office with a woman. I know colleagues who refuse to even interview or consider women for positions because they are afraid of anything th…

Yeahhhh, so refusing to interview or consider women for positions is very much against the law in the United States. Might not want to do that.

Yeah, well the laws in the US have become so convoluted, if they want to get you, they'll find something you are guilty of. Same as Orwell and Huxley predicted.

Re: Steve Jurvetson is out at his own VC firm after allegations of sexual harassment

#173
23 years ago, Steve Jurvetson was the only VC to respond to the 150 letters I sent out while seeking capital for my first startup. At the time he had not yet made partner at DFJ (it was just Draper Fisher back then). I was really impressed by his intelligence. At the time I was delivering pizza while working my way through a physics degree, designing a fusion reactor in my spare time. He cared about real advances in technology, and he and Tim Draper gave me a chance. Without him making the decision to speak to me, my whole life and career would have been different.

I don't know anything about whether Steve was inappropriate towards women or not. I've never worked closely enough with him to know, and I haven't spoken to him in many years. But I can't help but hope that he's doing ok. I hope he either gets vindication if he's innocent, or comes to peace with his actions if he is not. The rest of you may see him now as a powerful middle-aged man, but I still remember him as the young hotshot with something to prove.

Re: Steve Jurvetson is out at his own VC firm after allegations of sexual harassment

#174
post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Woah, I do not spend the majority of my time at work! For a given week I am awake for approximately 112 hours but I only spend 40 at work, so less than 36% of a given week is spent at work. During work I am usually too busy, uh, working to really socialize. I mean, I'm friendly, there's water cooler banter, but I've got work to do. I socialize plenty, just outside of the office with people who aren't my colleagues. I…

Thats too bad, I've made some friends (as in gone to weddings level) from work, and we've helped each other throughout the years. I've also made work acquaintances that I've referenced in the past and we've worked together again as a result. They are great to work with. I used to be like you, and I found it actually put me back in life richness. After I started seeing another non-work friend making friends from work…

Ummm.... Being invited to a wedding isn't a very high bar of friendship. I've been invited to weddings of people I never even met before, the odd distant relative. Most people invite people they haven't seen in a decade to their wedding. Most weddings are a show and the couple really want an audience.

99.9% shallow is not because I'm not open to it, its been my direct observation from people around me throughout the years. I didn't start noticing it until I was in my late 20s. It's not hard to observe from being around the block a few times.

Drinking with colleagues in Japan is not actually socialization, its just an extension of the office. Its a highly formal and ritualized event even though there is alcohol. It's considered part of work.

I'm not going to board game nights with coworkers because I'm busy playing board games with my actual friends. Sometimes new friendships happen in the office, ok, but I'd like to avoid mixing friendship and business if possible.

1) Making friends with all your colleagues can become a minefield to navigate after a while, uh.

2) You know friendships with people you aren't required to be around are legitimate.

Re: Steve Jurvetson is out at his own VC firm after allegations of sexual harassment

#175

Following these very visible and high profile falls from grace, in politics, media and entertainment, and high tech, there must be some legitimate concerns that in the near future the Billy Graham rule [1] (or lately called the Graham-Pence rule) will find more followers than before. Many men in power will instinctually and subconsciously cut out women from their professional lives more than before, to the detriment…

I know this might not be a popular opinion. But I've basically instituted a modified version of this rule for myself. Billy Graham and Mike Pence are definitely not a fountain a good ideas, but that doesn't mean this rule is that bad, despite the nonsense place it comes from. Whenever I need to have after work dinner/social communication with a female associate after 5:00pm, I just go out of my way to invite another…

These seem like reasonable precautions that don't disproportionately affect womens' access to your time and expertise. They probably help some women feel more comfortable as well.

Re: Steve Jurvetson is out at his own VC firm after allegations of sexual harassment

#176
post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yep, and the answer isn't apparent to me at all. I believe HR departments handle this sort of thing very well in the vast majority of cases.

So your argument is that there is no existing problem that needs dealing with.

Correct. HR handles 98% of cases and the legal system captures the outliers.

Re: Steve Jurvetson is out at his own VC firm after allegations of sexual harassment

#177
post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

how does one become 'cleared of accusations'?

Police investigation? Parliamentary one? Alibis, inconsistencies in the story, etc.? People are cleared of alleged crimes/improprieties all the time.

a hyper-concrete alibi usually works (such as reliable documentation of being on a different continent), but everything else is just "absence of evidence" (not a clearing).

unless "cleared" actually just means "insufficient evidence".

Re: Steve Jurvetson is out at his own VC firm after allegations of sexual harassment

#178
post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Right, but the implication is that they'd be just fine meeting one on one with another man. That it's only women who get treated specially.

Yes, that's the point. That this paranoia is bad for women. And the paranoia is all about a man with any element of power interacting with a woman. The first party's sexuality is somewhat relevant, but the latter's doesn't matter at all.

I'm sorry, but that paranoia is pure cowardice. If someone in power cannot meet with someone one on one without attempting anything, then they do not deserve to be in that position, full stop.

Re: Steve Jurvetson is out at his own VC firm after allegations of sexual harassment

#179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I don't ever comment on their physical appearance even if they got a great hair cut." Why is that? I'm not American so I don't understand, is it because of self-defense against allegations or because you see it inappropriate? Either way, I think you guys are a bit nuts over there, avoiding normal human interaction between genders, or people in general, is the solution?

Compliments on physical appearance can signal some type of sexual interest. I give PLENTY of compliments throughout the day. But I keep it limited to someone's thought's, actions, attitude, and quality of work.

You guys are crazy over there if you're afraid of "signals", whatever that means.

Re: Steve Jurvetson is out at his own VC firm after allegations of sexual harassment

#180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Compliments on physical appearance can signal some type of sexual interest. I give PLENTY of compliments throughout the day. But I keep it limited to someone's thought's, actions, attitude, and quality of work.

You guys are crazy over there if you're afraid of "signals", whatever that means.

How do you let someone know that you are romantically interested in them?

Basically I try not to do anything that would be confused with one of those things.

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