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How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?

nytimes.com

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Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?

#11

Post by xenihn »

moomin wrote: post #5
mlrtime wrote: post #3

Many men are understanding that marriage is a no win situation. You find yourself working your entire life to support your wife and family only to have a high percentage of ending in divorce. Your assets will be taken from you and you will be lucky if you get 50% custody. If you do not wand children there is no point in getting married.

You might want to investigate the "high percentage" figure. It's one of those talking points that isn't really grounded in any solid numbers.

Personally, any figure over 10% is high to me.

Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?

#12

Post by 19guid »

moomin wrote: post #5
mlrtime wrote: post #3

Many men are understanding that marriage is a no win situation. You find yourself working your entire life to support your wife and family only to have a high percentage of ending in divorce. Your assets will be taken from you and you will be lucky if you get 50% custody. If you do not wand children there is no point in getting married.

You might want to investigate the "high percentage" figure. It's one of those talking points that isn't really grounded in any solid numbers.

Per CDC (2014), the marriage rate in the United States is 6.9/1000 people while the divorce rate is 3.2/1000 people. [1] I'd say that's very high.

1: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm

Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?

#13

Post by kop316 »

jgh wrote: post #9
kop316 wrote: post #8

I wonder if this is also due to the high cost of the actual marriage ceremony. A (cheap) engagement ring can cost over $1000, and can easily jump to $5-10K. Then a traditional ceremony can easily be over $10K, with no upper bound on how expensive it is. This was the cause of me no longer being with an ex, they were already in debt $80k from school, but still wanted a ceremony that could have easily cost $40K. I had n…

Lots of people do it at City Hall and it usually costs about $50. Throw a nice dinner in for a few of your closest friends / family and you're talking about a decent wedding for a few hundred bucks. No need to go crazy.

I completely agree. My point was more if that is expected of someone from their family/significant other, that would certainly be major factor in not wanting to get married.

Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?

#14

Post by jgh »

kop316 wrote: post #13
jgh wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Lots of people do it at City Hall and it usually costs about $50. Throw a nice dinner in for a few of your closest friends / family and you're talking about a decent wedding for a few hundred bucks. No need to go crazy.

I completely agree. My point was more if that is expected of someone from their family/significant other, that would certainly be major factor in not wanting to get married.

Fair enough!

Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?

#15

Post by justaman »

moomin wrote: post #5
mlrtime wrote: post #3

Many men are understanding that marriage is a no win situation. You find yourself working your entire life to support your wife and family only to have a high percentage of ending in divorce. Your assets will be taken from you and you will be lucky if you get 50% custody. If you do not wand children there is no point in getting married.

You might want to investigate the "high percentage" figure. It's one of those talking points that isn't really grounded in any solid numbers.

Its 40-50% marriages. However people who get remarried or married a second time are significantly more likely to get a divorce. Pretty damn high. Flip a coin. Whats really interesting is the number of sexual partners and how that relates to divorce rates.

http://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/

Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?

#16

Post by tosstossy »

moomin wrote: post #5
mlrtime wrote: post #3

Many men are understanding that marriage is a no win situation. You find yourself working your entire life to support your wife and family only to have a high percentage of ending in divorce. Your assets will be taken from you and you will be lucky if you get 50% custody. If you do not wand children there is no point in getting married.

You might want to investigate the "high percentage" figure. It's one of those talking points that isn't really grounded in any solid numbers.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_in_the_United_States#R...

The rates are high, and it's worth considering how many marriages should be divorced but instead forcibly stay unhappy for things like traditional or religious reasons.

Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?

#17

Post by ch4s3 »

mlrtime wrote: post #3

Many men are understanding that marriage is a no win situation. You find yourself working your entire life to support your wife and family only to have a high percentage of ending in divorce. Your assets will be taken from you and you will be lucky if you get 50% custody. If you do not wand children there is no point in getting married.

What a depressingly cynical outlook.

>find yourself working your entire life to support your wife

You do know that lots of women have careers now right? You can arguably do quite well as a team pooling financial resources and saving for retirement. It also makes you more resilient to changes in employment.

>If you do not wand children there is no point in getting married.

What if you just want to engage in a mutually meaningful tradition?

Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?

#19

Post by greekyogurt21 »

mlrtime wrote: post #3

Many men are understanding that marriage is a no win situation. You find yourself working your entire life to support your wife and family only to have a high percentage of ending in divorce. Your assets will be taken from you and you will be lucky if you get 50% custody. If you do not wand children there is no point in getting married.

This post reeks of red pill nonsense.

Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?

#20

Post by madengr »

moomin wrote: post #4

"As marriage has declined, though, childbearing has not, which means that more children are living in families without two parents and the resources they bring." Er, no, it doesn't mean that at all. I mean, I 100% support anyone doing the ridiculously hard job of raising a kid all by themselves, but just because Justin Wolfers and Betsey Stevenson aren't married it doesn't mean they aren't committed to each other and…

Get married is cheap. Getting a divorce is expensive.
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