How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?
nytimes.com
How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?
1–10 of 132 posts
Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?
#2Seems that the liability for men to get married is much higher now in the event of a divorce. Also women are less dependant on men and more able to control when and if they have children.
Everything else is irrelevant imo.
Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?
#3Many men are understanding that marriage is a no win situation. You find yourself working your entire life to support your wife and family only to have a high percentage of ending in divorce. Your assets will be taken from you and you will be lucky if you get 50% custody.
If you do not wand children there is no point in getting married.
Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?
#4"As marriage has declined, though, childbearing has not, which means that more children are living in families without two parents and the resources they bring."
Er, no, it doesn't mean that at all. I mean, I 100% support anyone doing the ridiculously hard job of raising a kid all by themselves, but just because Justin Wolfers and Betsey Stevenson aren't married it doesn't mean they aren't committed to each other and their children.
Anyway, maybe the truth is: people don't have to get married, and it's expensive to do so. I don't think there's any great mystery here.
Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?
#5Many men are understanding that marriage is a no win situation. You find yourself working your entire life to support your wife and family only to have a high percentage of ending in divorce. Your assets will be taken from you and you will be lucky if you get 50% custody. If you do not wand children there is no point in getting married.
You might want to investigate the "high percentage" figure. It's one of those talking points that isn't really grounded in any solid numbers.
Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?
#6Let's see how many /r/redpill talking points we can collect in here over the next few hours.
Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?
#7To quote Alec Baldwin's character, Ellerby, from The Departed:
"Marriage is an important part of getting ahead; lets people know you're not a homo. Married guy seems more stable. People see the ring, they think 'at least somebody can stand the son of a bitch'. Ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have some cash or your cock must work."
A touch on the homophobic and misogynistic side, but it seems relevant.
Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?
#8I wonder if this is also due to the high cost of the actual marriage ceremony. A (cheap) engagement ring can cost over $1000, and can easily jump to $5-10K. Then a traditional ceremony can easily be over $10K, with no upper bound on how expensive it is. This was the cause of me no longer being with an ex, they were already in debt $80k from school, but still wanted a ceremony that could have easily cost $40K. I had no debt, and was unwilling go into that sort of debt for a ceremony.
I think a lot of people see that as well, and realize they simply cannot go into that sort of debt for a wedding ceremony.
EDIT: My point was more if that is expected of someone from their family/significant other, that would certainly be major factor in not wanting to get married. Wedding ceremonies can certainly be done affordably, and I think it is smart to do that.
Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?
#9I wonder if this is also due to the high cost of the actual marriage ceremony. A (cheap) engagement ring can cost over $1000, and can easily jump to $5-10K. Then a traditional ceremony can easily be over $10K, with no upper bound on how expensive it is. This was the cause of me no longer being with an ex, they were already in debt $80k from school, but still wanted a ceremony that could have easily cost $40K. I had n…
Lots of people do it at City Hall and it usually costs about $50. Throw a nice dinner in for a few of your closest friends / family and you're talking about a decent wedding for a few hundred bucks. No need to go crazy.
Re: How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?
#10Many men are understanding that marriage is a no win situation. You find yourself working your entire life to support your wife and family only to have a high percentage of ending in divorce. Your assets will be taken from you and you will be lucky if you get 50% custody. If you do not wand children there is no point in getting married.
You might want to investigate the "high percentage" figure. It's one of those talking points that isn't really grounded in any solid numbers.
If anyone else doesn't want to investigate, this article puts it at 25%. [1] Some may consider that a high percentage. If this is a major concern though, my advice is to marry someone who you trust to not be horrible in the case of a divorce. It won't always work out that way, but at least you can have some confidence that they won't try to ruin your life just for fun.
1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/heart-the-matter/201704...