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How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons

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Re: How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons

#21

Post by SilkRoadie »

southphillyman wrote: post #13

"They are rooted in childhood—which is the only time stuttering can be reversed. Once you’re an adult, there are only ways of hiding" Don't think this is true. Bill Walton and Bill Withers both were in their 30s before they stopped stuttering I believe.

I don't agree with this either. I am in my thirties now and still stutter but I have made huge progress in the past 5 years. In the past stuttering was a huge part my life. Now, while I stutter from time to time my self confidence means it doesn't matter.

In the past I refused to use the phone. I couldn't. I would be vocally paralysed. Today I spent an hour talking on the phone to a mortgage broker.

The only situation I struggle with is conference calling at work. I haven't thought much on it as I rarely do it. I guess I worry I will get stuck and someone will talk over me.. which I guess is silly. If I did it more I am sure I would master it too.

Re: How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons

#22

Post by maxxxxx »

nodesocket wrote: post #11
forthelove wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I should note that I've had to give many, many, many presentations in many different business environments (in front of my companies, pitching investors, new biz pitches, etc.) and I learned a long time ago that confidence is crucial. Almost every time I practiced the best man speech I stuttered quite often, and almost on the same words every time. But come game time, it almost always goes smoothly. Always found that…

Can you share some techniques? I've found the opposite.. Come game time on the phone especially, it is difficult. I stutter frequently and block for long extended periods.

I wonder if Toastmasters could help. I don't stutter but I am painfully shy so giving speeches was always a nightmare. After giving a few speeches at Toastmasters I simply didn't care anymore and did OK speeches without too much stress.

Re: How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons

#23

Post by TinyBig »

nodesocket wrote: post #18
TinyBig wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Stutterer here. Answer to both questions in my case: Yes and yes. I had potential employers just hang up the phone rather than wait for me to complete a sentence. I was completely unable to find a job (any job) when I fished undergrad with a 3.7 GPA in mechanical engineering. It was pretty scary at the time; I was convinced I was going to starve.

I know this anxiety and disappointment. Knowing the answers, having the information for potential investors or clients, and completely bombing. It is frustrating indeed. I usually let people (investors, clients, etc) know upfront that I have a stutter, definitely seems to help. I can't believe somebody would just hang up on you though.

I can't believe it either. I wrote a post on how I eventually sorted myself out: http://eyeofthesquid.com/blog/2014/04/25/walking-the-path/

Re: How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons

#24

Post by nodesocket »

TinyBig wrote: post #23
nodesocket wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know this anxiety and disappointment. Knowing the answers, having the information for potential investors or clients, and completely bombing. It is frustrating indeed. I usually let people (investors, clients, etc) know upfront that I have a stutter, definitely seems to help. I can't believe somebody would just hang up on you though.

I can't believe it either. I wrote a post on how I eventually sorted myself out: http://eyeofthesquid.com/blog/2014/04/25/walking-the-path/

You mention in your post that you found a good speech therapist. Can you share? Were they local?

Re: How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons

#25

Post by [deleted] »

TinyBig wrote: post #23
nodesocket wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know this anxiety and disappointment. Knowing the answers, having the information for potential investors or clients, and completely bombing. It is frustrating indeed. I usually let people (investors, clients, etc) know upfront that I have a stutter, definitely seems to help. I can't believe somebody would just hang up on you though.

I can't believe it either. I wrote a post on how I eventually sorted myself out: http://eyeofthesquid.com/blog/2014/04/25/walking-the-path/

[deleted]

Re: How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons

#26

Post by TinyBig »

nodesocket wrote: post #24
TinyBig wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't believe it either. I wrote a post on how I eventually sorted myself out: http://eyeofthesquid.com/blog/2014/04/25/walking-the-path/

You mention in your post that you found a good speech therapist. Can you share? Were they local?

There is a link to the therapist, Tim Mackesey, in the post. He was local (in Atlanta, GA). I saw him 14-15 years ago, not sure what his practice looks like these days.

Re: How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons

#27

Post by wahern »

forthelove wrote: post #10
forthelove wrote: post #9

Stutterer here. Was in speech therapy for a long time as a child; my sister actually became a speech therapist b/c of that experience. It will always be a challenge (I'm 37 now), and it seems to rear its ugly head at random times not necessarily tied to stress. Two nights ago I made my first ever best man speech in front of about 150+ people and I maybe stammered once during the 5 or so minutes. Felt amazing and I ha…

I should note that I've had to give many, many, many presentations in many different business environments (in front of my companies, pitching investors, new biz pitches, etc.) and I learned a long time ago that confidence is crucial. Almost every time I practiced the best man speech I stuttered quite often, and almost on the same words every time. But come game time, it almost always goes smoothly. Always found that…

I've always wondered if a little alcohol would help here. But I'm so habituated to avoiding these situations I haven't had the opportunity to experiment.

When I am forced to speak to a room full of people it's usually spur of the moment. If I know exactly what I'm talking about, I tend to talk too fast. When I'm unsure of myself or how to phrase things, my stuttering is almost completely debilitating even when I'm controlling my rate of speech. I figure alcohol could help in both situations by keeping me relaxed and more focused.

Re: How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons

#28

Post by mlvljr »

sattoshi wrote: post #7
Overtonwindow wrote: post #4

From an engineering perspective, I wish more technologists researched the intersection of speech and technology. For many who stutter there's a device called the SpeechEasy which is marketed as something to improve fluency, and reduce stuttering. Unfortunately for most it doesn't work, for those that it does work the effect wears off, it costs well over $3,000 for the intro pocket model, and typically not covered by…

Loopback microphone input on your smartphone, plug in earphones and you're good to go! How is that for disruption?

An old wired phone does it for ya, in fact :)

Re: How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons

#29

Post by edgarvaldes »

msla wrote: post #17
forthelove wrote: post #9

Stutterer here. Was in speech therapy for a long time as a child; my sister actually became a speech therapist b/c of that experience. It will always be a challenge (I'm 37 now), and it seems to rear its ugly head at random times not necessarily tied to stress. Two nights ago I made my first ever best man speech in front of about 150+ people and I maybe stammered once during the 5 or so minutes. Felt amazing and I ha…

I'm also a stutterer and the last sentence rings true. I am a lot better now than I was as a child, but I used to be a master at the art of avoidance and replacement. If I felt I was going to stutter on a given word, I'd replace it with something I felt more confident with. I was constantly evading a ruthless, arbitrary censor, and I'm certain it gave me a greater facility with synonyms, rephrasing, and general lingu…

Same here with the replacements. Synonyms appear on the fly, even when reading aloud at ''full speed''.

Re: How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons

#30

Post by 40acres »

I had a stutter growing up, it was terrible. Whenever I got noticed I just froze up, I particularly remember one English teacher who knew I was bad at public speaking yet repeatedly calling on me during class to read sections (more than other kids).

I was terrified of going to high school with a stutter, I knew how cruel kids could be, but out of nowhere my stutter disappeared. I never really looked at to what phenomenon caused my stutter to go away but it was a huge weight off my back.

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