61–70 of 123 posts
I was did a contract at a local engineering shop a year ago. Tech writing. The engineers were INCREDIBLE ASSHOLES. Really cold and dickish, to me that is. But to each other! JEEZ. Cliquish, abusive and just fucking mean. Total lord of the flies shit. Really toxic. I had a serious talk with a couple of the more abused ones. Told them, "no, it isn't you, it's them. You need to quit." I've seen some places that were a b…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
How so?
A manager could then point to the salary of someone in the same position and say "Jane gets paid $X in the same position, it would be unfair to give you a raise and not her" I don't work somewhere with transparent salaries and I already get that excuse — I've more than once heard "you're kind of already at the top of our range for X position" and "if we pay you anymore you'll be making more than me!"
If its treated as an opportunity for improvement, and specifically not an exercise in assigning blame, then I've seen it be very successful. People have knowledge gaps, incorrect assumptions, institutional knowledge from other institutions, or just flat out make the wrong call under pressure, in hindsight. Learn from it and improve. That said, I've also seen it be completely pointless when a team believes it to be an exercise in blame assignment, no matter how much its been promised to the contrary. If its not possible to hold such an exercise, then the company has way bigger problems, and wouldn't you much rather work somewhere healthy?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
We're talking about a guy who was so paralyzed by the fact that the woman he was having sex with whispered sweet nothings into his ear that he dedicated three paragraphs to unpacking the discomfort it caused...
You joke but I think there's something more at play here. Sounds like the guy cannot multitask at all. Maybe on the spectrum.
That usually gets me fired up enough
Seems like most of his advice could be summed up as: "Don't over-complicate the situation". To use his first example, when he's being insulted why spin off into emotional-analysis neverland? What's happening there is you're being abused by an asshole, and you should respond to said abuse and, once that situation is resolved, examine the real issue more thoroughly. I'm speaking as someone who used to think exactly lik…
An alternative approach I use to combat alpha-holes, and general abuse/anger is to not answer the question 100%, or answer with a lot of ambiguity. The goal is to raise more questions than you answer (don't answer them, just throw a curve ball). Couple it with some down-talking and you're good to go. This throws the attacker into a bit of mental confusion and their anger subsides instantly as they're trying to proces…
Something that isn't a counter attack like "Is your shirt inside out?" may also work.
Seems like most of his advice could be summed up as: "Don't over-complicate the situation". To use his first example, when he's being insulted why spin off into emotional-analysis neverland? What's happening there is you're being abused by an asshole, and you should respond to said abuse and, once that situation is resolved, examine the real issue more thoroughly. I'm speaking as someone who used to think exactly lik…
To expand on this point, a solid "whoah, whoah, whoah...slow down for me...what happened" goes a long way. Recognising someone is in emotional pain, and working to solve that, goes miles with even the crankiest people.
An alternative approach I use to combat alpha-holes, and general abuse/anger is to not answer the question 100%, or answer with a lot of ambiguity. The goal is to raise more questions than you answer (don't answer them, just throw a curve ball). Couple it with some down-talking and you're good to go. This throws the attacker into a bit of mental confusion and their anger subsides instantly as they're trying to proces…
If I weren't livid already, that would get me there. It's condescending, needlessly brings in and insults a loved one and offers zero empathy or productive feedback.
“What’s your current salary?” is a trap question–Here's how to answer it | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13724755
"Before you even get a job offer, it's important to decide what your "walk away" number is [...] I recommend literally writing it down" - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14447890