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Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

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Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#71
I know exactly what this is like. I was about the same age as you when I started really getting worried about the same things you are.

If you do everything I say here, it probably won't make you a dynamo overnight. It will help you avoid backsliding, though. Over the next few years, if you are diligent, you will learn new habits.

Step 1: Throw your TV and any video game systems you have in the trash (or more sensibly, disconnect them and put them on craigslist so they are out of your house today). The whole point of startup culture is to give up some fun now (wait, working at a startup IS fun) in exchange for a huge pile of money later. You want to work 80+ hours a week, and probably have a girlfriend too. When does playing Xbox fit in there? In a few years, when you are the founder of a hot, funded startup, you can have an XBOX in your game room. Or you can play it now, and maybe the VC fairy will be impressed by your GTA skills. -- The point is, every minute spent fucking around is a minute you could be working or learning new skills.

Step N: The next time you are wondering "why can't I be productive", imagine a little bell ringing in your head. The bell is there to remind you to sit down and work. If you find yourself browsing reddit or hn or some other site, add entries to your hosts file so that you CAN'T browse those sites. Often the anxiety that keeps a person from being productive is at it's worst at exactly those times that you would otherwise be the most productive. Never visit any distracting site like that from your work area or from your work computer.

Step Na: Give yourself a little goal to accomplish (write it down) when you sit down to work, and don't let yourself get up to do something else (besides restroom breaks) until you accomplish the little goal you wrote down. When you do accomplish it, imagine another 'you' there, and see if that other 'you' would accept the quality of the work if you were an employee. Once you give the work a thumbs up, force yourself to take a 15 minute break. Go outside for a walk, call a friend, just get off the computer. Once you are comfortable with this micro-routine (say after 3 weeks of doing it consistently), check out GTD. Resist the urge to go full on GTD now, however. Most likely you will get distracted setting up notebooks and org-mode or other yak-shaving instead of getting actual work done.

Step X: Make an appointment with a psychiatrist that has experience treating adults with depression, ADHD and anxiety issues. It may help a lot, and it can't hurt.

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#72

Dude, you don't have ADD. You aren't bipolar. You're a normal young man -- or at least within the range of normal for young men. Forget therapists. Forget drugs. Forget everything you've been told, and join the Army. Seriously. Trust me. Yes, yes, I know that you don't know me. But you're describing me in this post, and a lot of guys I knew back when I was in: Smart guys, but bored. Can't concentrate in class. Can't…

What would you recommend for someone sufffering PTSD?

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#73
post #63

Read P.J. Eby's "Thinking Things Done". It's unfinished, but chapters 1-7 are very good. You have to sign up for his mailing list to receive them. I found out about this from http://lesswrong.com/lw/21r/pain_and_gain_motivation/ Consider spending a lot of time alone, or at least outside any institution for a while. Hell is other people. It's hard for me to think clearly when other people's thoughts are an important p…

I second that. Eby's good and so is meditation.

If you really get into meditation, consider reading the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. The religious elements don't make sense to me but he understands what mediation does for the mind.

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#75
I've struggled with trying to make a success of my company too and my family is far away and I've had thoughts similar to yours.

But I always came back to the fact that I can always do something different. I can drop everything and go back to where I grew up and just take an ordinary job.

Remember that there is nothing more important than your life and desire to succeed at a startup or in corporate America or anything else is just conditioning and not necessarily important at all.

Personally, I took a contract job recently where I can only work 8 hours a day. Its great to hang it up at the end of the day like a normal person.

There's nothing wrong with taking a break from struggling with a startup. Things will come together later. Its not supposed to be so hard anyway. There's a difference between intense creative collaboration and solitary unhappy struggle.

I truly hope this helps.

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#76
post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for the links. Right now I'm in the position where finishing college has been a 7 year ordeal and I still don't 'know what I'm going to do'. Started off in CS but it required way more singular focus than I am capable of (was at CMU), so I switched to creative writing, which allows a lot more flexibility in terms of what I decide to put on a page, but not particularly clear career paths... I have what I think a…

I had no idea what to do starting college, then I dropped out. I went back later (long story) - ended up taking a logic course in philosophy program - aced it, and routed myself in to a philosophy degree. What the hell do you do with a philosophy degree? Get a programming job of course! (which is what I managed).

No idea what to do? Why, just major in cognitive science!

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#77
Ok, first of all, there are no easy answers to this, but the good news is it's mostly how you are looking at things.

You need to find an environment that fits your personality, you like start ups and can't stay focused? Great you're the support guy, there are always a million little things you can do. When you're not being distracted by support emails / calls you can fix the bugs they want fixed.

Relationship? You're 23, don't worry about it, you don't need a long term relationship right now and probably haven't figured out what you really want in a partner. Exceptional partners are just that, exceptional, you're not going to meet that person everyday. A week or two? That's not a relationship thats getting to know someone.

You can't stay focused on a project for more than two or three weeks? Great, there is a new methodology called agile. It's perfect for you. Your project is now a feature. You have two weeks to implement it. The good news is you're not going to be prone to embarking on any Sisyphean tasks.

If you want inspiration I have a contract due in 6 hours and I'm sitting around posting on HN. I can't focus either.

You need to stop trying to conform to your environment and start trying to find an environment in which your traits are invaluable. Stop beating yourself up over who you're not, start embracing who you are.

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#78
post #32
post #31

I have said this 3 times on here already, however, it has been so effective I feel its worth sharing again. This is the only thing that has worked for me and it worked fantastically: 1) Start with some Black Tea. In my experience the caffeine in black tea causes less of crash than coffee. 2) Hemmingways Hack: http://www.secondactive.com/2009/08/boost-your-productivity-... 3) And the Pomodoro Technique http://www.pomo…

Thanks for the link. I am considering visiting the school shrink.

After reading your thoughts about how you feel I can honestly say I currently still feel the same way about my life. It wasn't until Senior year in High School that I started to have the same feelings as you and experienced thoughts of suicide or depression along with anxiety and was given Zoloft by a doctor when I was 18. I was really outgoing in high school though but did have some rough times my senior year with the typical girl bs causing fights and what not. I also had a therapist session every other month or so (didnt start until college) to talk to about whatever really and also problems with my family.

Pretty much everything I endured with Zoloft and therapy didn't make me more confident or helped me accept the fact that I don't like to make mistakes and that in turn makes me like the The Too Many Aptitude Problem - TMA. One thing it did help me with was my suicide thoughts and even stopped me from writing good bye letters.

http://knacks.esmartdesign.com/#Aptitudes_and_Mental_Illness. - TMA

What I am trying to say is that after every thing I endured over the span of a 1 and half I was on Zoloft I really thought I was recovering from my daze I had. I felt better but not cured. But it seemed it caused a worse daze making me just pass through things in my life without real thought. My mind started to seem off and I changed from my true self. I wasn't as social, I was more cautious, and I think I lost the person I was in Senior year. This all came to a realization after I was finally taken off the drug just as my freshmen year of college came to an end.

One thing that can really help is therapy though. So totally give it chance. I know I used the tissues in the room a lot when I talked about what I was going through because his answers/questions always made me really think.

To me any drug with any type of extreme side effects is not a solution but it could be for you. Just a thought.

Take it easy.

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#79
I know what you mean. I have similar issues. I tried to put together my advice in a series of articles titled "Hyperbrain user manual", some time ago. Hopefully you'll find some useful techniques there:

http://inter-sections.net/2008/08/28/hyperbrain-owners-manua...

http://inter-sections.net/2008/09/01/hyperbrain-owners-manua...

http://inter-sections.net/2008/09/05/hyperbrain-owners-manua...

http://inter-sections.net/2008/09/11/hyperbrain-owners-manua...

http://inter-sections.net/2009/02/23/hyperbrain-owners-manua...

Hope these help!

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#80

Dude, you don't have ADD. You aren't bipolar. You're a normal young man -- or at least within the range of normal for young men. Forget therapists. Forget drugs. Forget everything you've been told, and join the Army. Seriously. Trust me. Yes, yes, I know that you don't know me. But you're describing me in this post, and a lot of guys I knew back when I was in: Smart guys, but bored. Can't concentrate in class. Can't…

Dude, you don't have ADD. You aren't bipolar. [..] join the Army [..] you'll probably be doing more good for the world than any ten Peace Corps volunteers. Yes yes, I saw that Collateral murder video. Wikleaks is a bunch of liars.

Another perfect diagnosis, Drill Sergeant Schoeneman.

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