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Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

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Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#31

Post by csmeder »

I have said this 3 times on here already, however, it has been so effective I feel its worth sharing again.

This is the only thing that has worked for me and it worked fantastically:

1) Start with some Black Tea. In my experience the caffeine in black tea causes less of crash than coffee.

2) Hemmingways Hack: http://www.secondactive.com/2009/08/boost-your-productivity-...

3) And the Pomodoro Technique http://www.pomodorotechnique.com This has hemmingsways hack built in. If done right (read the PDF) it is amazing.

-----------------------

As far as that last paragraph, it sounds like your depressed.

Depression is the most common mental health concern in our culture today. The main reason for this phenomenon is our dysfunctional lifestyle. We have stripped away supports such as family and community and replaced them with material objects, larger homes, entertainment centers, and more time at work for money and success, rather than interest, meaning, or passion. The lack of support, connectedness, and meaning leaves people feeling empty, lost, and depressed. These negatives feelings are symptoms trying to tell us that we're being deprived of essential human nutrients: to be seen, heard, and understood. Thus, depression is a healing crisis. -- http://www.wholenesstherapy.com/public/anxiety.htm

Like everyone else has said go see a counselor. You should be talking to some one about these feelings.

To me it sounds like you depression is stemming from a feeling of a lack control and a feeling that you don't have the power to make a change. If you can, I recommend reading this book http://www.amazon.com/Transformation-Understanding-Levels-Ma...

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#32

Post by Damnit »

csmeder wrote: post #31

I have said this 3 times on here already, however, it has been so effective I feel its worth sharing again. This is the only thing that has worked for me and it worked fantastically: 1) Start with some Black Tea. In my experience the caffeine in black tea causes less of crash than coffee. 2) Hemmingways Hack: http://www.secondactive.com/2009/08/boost-your-productivity-... 3) And the Pomodoro Technique http://www.pomo…

Thanks for the link. I am considering visiting the school shrink.

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#33

Post by petercooper »

I'm only bringing this up because no-one did but read up on bipolar disorder and see if any of it clicks with you.

There's a wide spectrum of bipolar disorders (it's not all just super mania and super depression) and what you're saying sounds like it could be connected to this (the flip flopping, the doing OK one moment, not so good the next). Of particular interest should be bipolar II: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_II_disorder

Bipolar is, IMHO, a significantly bigger deal than having ADD or a mere lack of willpower. It is a commonly misunderstood condition and one that a lot of normal advice regarding depression or personality disorders will not help. Unfortunately it can also be a very difficult condition to "admit" you have, especially to yourself, so it's worth at least reading up about it ASAP "just in case."

Disclaimer: I have a bipolar disorder that's self managed (no medicines) and over the last few years I've come up with a lot of techniques and tricks to take advantage of it and reduce its negative effects. Before that, though, things were.. not so good :-)

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#34

Post by Damnit »

mgkimsal wrote: post #2

I wouldn't rule out something medically not quite optimal with your brain and you may want to talk to a professional about some medication to help bring things in to a balance (you didn't mention that you'd done that yet or not). Medical aspects aside, it sounds like you've not been able to find a niche yet. I'm not trying to trivialize this, but you obviously do have some passion (as others note) but you can't chann…

Appreciate your kind words and the links! Thank you.

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#35

Post by Damnit »

petercooper wrote: post #33

I'm only bringing this up because no-one did but read up on bipolar disorder and see if any of it clicks with you. There's a wide spectrum of bipolar disorders (it's not all just super mania and super depression) and what you're saying sounds like it could be connected to this (the flip flopping, the doing OK one moment, not so good the next). Of particular interest should be bipolar II: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/…

Yeah I've read up on it and it's one of my default "jokes" to new friends("dude! you've no idea how bipolar I am")--only they don't know that I am not really joking.

Still I have a lot of stigma about officially getting tested for this stuff.

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#36

Post by d0m »

I sympathize with you. All I can say is that.. don't give up. Somewhere, sometime, you'll ready enjoy what you're doing and you will look back at this sad time of your life and think: Damn, I'm so happy I didn't give up.

Also, it's easy to make friend and I agree with you that it's hard to be motivated to stick with them.. However, I'm sure you'll encounter real friend where you won't need to be motivated.. you'll just enjoy being with them as they will be part of your life. Same with girls.. once you'll find someone that you really like (and not only the first kick), you'll be actually happy to spend time with her and she'll help you to get more motivated.

Finally, next with the startup.. once you'll really enjoy your project, it will be so much easier to stick with it and get motivated. And sometime, the best way to motivate you, is to start small and publish something.. with real people around the world waiting for your next version, it really does give a little kick in the but :p

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#37

Post by mgkimsal »

Qz wrote: post #30
mgkimsal wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Check out http://wishcraft.com to grab a PDF book from Sher. This book: http://www.amazon.com/Refuse-Choose-Revolutionary-Program-Ev... helped me identify myself more. I got this book for my wife: http://www.amazon.com/Could-Anything-Only-Knew-What/dp/04405... and she said it helped her refocus things. The takeaway from all of this is that TMA page helped me identify and 'diagnose' (in a loose sense) that condition.…

Thanks for the links. Right now I'm in the position where finishing college has been a 7 year ordeal and I still don't 'know what I'm going to do'. Started off in CS but it required way more singular focus than I am capable of (was at CMU), so I switched to creative writing, which allows a lot more flexibility in terms of what I decide to put on a page, but not particularly clear career paths... I have what I think a…

I had no idea what to do starting college, then I dropped out. I went back later (long story) - ended up taking a logic course in philosophy program - aced it, and routed myself in to a philosophy degree. What the hell do you do with a philosophy degree? Get a programming job of course! (which is what I managed).

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#38

Post by mgkimsal »

Damnit wrote: post #34
mgkimsal wrote: post #2

I wouldn't rule out something medically not quite optimal with your brain and you may want to talk to a professional about some medication to help bring things in to a balance (you didn't mention that you'd done that yet or not). Medical aspects aside, it sounds like you've not been able to find a niche yet. I'm not trying to trivialize this, but you obviously do have some passion (as others note) but you can't chann…

Appreciate your kind words and the links! Thank you.

You're plenty welcome. And... as odd as it may have seemed, the phone number's there if/when you want to chat. It may amount to absolutely nothing, or it might be useful for the both of us. I'm not awake 24/7, but am available quite a lot :) By way of reference, I'm plenty older than you, and have dealt with a lot of how you feel (except for the startup in highschool stuff!) since my teens - it definitely can get better. To a large extent things are what we make of them, and the beauty of life is that we can make of it what we want (sorry to get too philosophical so late/early in the day!)

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#39

Post by Damnit »

mgkimsal wrote: post #38
Damnit wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Appreciate your kind words and the links! Thank you.

You're plenty welcome. And... as odd as it may have seemed, the phone number's there if/when you want to chat. It may amount to absolutely nothing, or it might be useful for the both of us. I'm not awake 24/7, but am available quite a lot :) By way of reference, I'm plenty older than you, and have dealt with a lot of how you feel (except for the startup in highschool stuff!) since my teens - it definitely can get bet…

You're so generous. Thank you again! You may also be local to me(yay 919ers).

Re: Ask HN: Lack of self-discipline driving me hopeless. Tips?

#40

Post by carterschonwald »

I second (or nth) the see a doctor and talk about your focus and mood difficulties. The root issue of your difficulties might simply be a chemical imbalance of some sort (some variant of bipolar disorder (manias and lows) or inattentive adhd).

Go talk to a doctor such as eg a psychiatrist (get a referral from your normal doctor perhaps?) and be very very clear about every relevant anecdote in your entire life about your troubles. Mood/attention disorders can be very frustrating when unmanaged, especially since in many cases when you talk about difficulties that are ultimately due to such to most other people, their response is like "no biggie, just do it" or the like.

That being said, this is just one avenue worth investigating and many of the other posts will probably speak of much more likely applicable approaches.

But seriously, its always a good idea to talk to a doctor when theres nontrivial physical or mental distress that is evading solution.

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