Why I left Japan after 10 years

Been here 11 years myself and haven't experienced anything the author has stated either. My first year here was awkward (university exchange), but one can just write that off to culture shock. You can't help but think everyone is staring at you at first, and a lot of times they are - welcome to a very homogeneous Asian population foreigner, you are rare!

I feel like the people that come here and end up hating it are exactly as you say, people with an absurd amount of weird cultural entitlement. It's like they don't understand that they are living in a completely different country from their own with completely different standards and norms. I have luckily not met such bitter folk, although I've tended to just stick to living a standard life here and not going out of my way to join any foreigner circles, which are apparently where these oddball haters tend to cluster.

I remember when Google+ first came out and I flipped to the "people near you panel" on accident. Some lady, probably American, had posted a rant about how the hotel she was in asked her to leave the fitness area because she was covered in tattoos. She went on about self image, and how it's degrading to her being a unique individual, and on and on. I was like, holy shit, does this person even realize the stigma behind tattoos here? Does she understand that she is in a culture that is incredibly not individualistic and all about the group? I mean, how can one go and spend time in a foreign country with that level of ignorance?

Sure, we all make mistakes, but I'd like to think most of us humbly accept that we did a cultural snafu and then move on.

>I drive a 4Runner because it has lots of steel and is very safe

I can't believe I'm seeing this kind of ignorance on HN...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aht7Sc_J4OU

I guess I'll add an anecdata point to your anecdata point, I had multiple random Japanese persons initiate conversation with me in Japanese when I visited Japan for a couple of weeks.

I'm a white, blond man and went together with my white blond girlfriend.

I'm trying to avoid commenting on this thread because I think it is impossible for me to write a nuanced enough response that will give people a closer understanding of what it's like to live here (I moved here 10 years ago, though I spent 2 years in the UK, so 8 years total).

However, I can comment on the "Japanese only" signs. I've never actually seen one myself, but I know they exist in some places. An acquaintance of mine is well connected with a particular sumo heya (a "heya" is essentially a group of sumo wrestlers who live and train together along with their trainers and staff). It is popular (and fun) to go and watch the wrestlers train in their heya, but one is sometimes confronted with the "Japanese Only" sign at the entrance.

My acquaintance is not Japanese (he isn't even a resident), but like I said, he is well acquainted with the heya. One time, he asked some visiting foreigners if they wanted to watch the training and they were delighted to accept. When they got to the entrance they saw the sign. "Is it really OK?", they asked.

"It's fine. I've made arrangements. As far as the heya is concerned, if you know how to make arrangements to visit the heya, then you are Japanese".

Living in Japan can be very difficult for people who are not culturally Japanese. There is a weird inside/outside culture where either your are inside with a bunch of strange rules that you have to follow (and know to follow, somehow) or you are outside (where you don't really need to know or follow any rules). What "Japanese Only" means is that they only want people who know what the rules are, know how to follow the rules, and most importantly, are willing to follow the rules to the letter even if they think the rules are stupid. If you can do that, then you are "Japanese enough".

Generally speaking, there are few cultures in the world with the same kind of byzantine rule following culture that Japan has. Many cultures are literally morally opposed to blindly following rules. People from those cultures often have great difficulty in certain circumstances in Japan. However, if you show that you are willing and able to surmount those hurdles, my experience has been that most people have no trouble accepting you as Japanese.

If you don't consider the presumption of innocence a core human value, what do you?