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Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

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Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#201

Post by arithmetic »

jpdbaugh wrote: post #119
DanielBMarkham wrote: post #89

- Shiny things are nowhere as much fun after you get them as before, even if they have some value. So yes, that Kindle or iPad or whatever will have a real use, and you will be marginally happier with it than without, but not as much as you think - You can talk yourself into (or out of) anything. The only difference between smart people and other people is that smart people do this with bigger words and more complex…

"If you are changing and getting better, that means you are changing friends too. This was very difficult for me, but you can't hang out with the same folks and expect to become a better person. There are exceptions, of course, but to a large degree your life is controlled by whom you choose to be friends and hang out with. Be aware that you don't want to be the same person at 30 as you were at 20. I'm not saying be…

When my friend from college visited me (it's been many years since college, and now we both have jobs), I couldn't understand why I just couldn't hang out like before. I mean, sure, I could spend a couple of days and show my friend around the city, but I realized that for some reason, I had moved on. I kept thinking that I had become a snobbish, snooty SOB. I now know that I've just changed - I have a different circle of friends (for better or worse) and I can no longer go back to who I was in college. And I think it's OK (and in many ways, good).

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#202

Post by grellas »

DanielBMarkham wrote: post #89

- Shiny things are nowhere as much fun after you get them as before, even if they have some value. So yes, that Kindle or iPad or whatever will have a real use, and you will be marginally happier with it than without, but not as much as you think - You can talk yourself into (or out of) anything. The only difference between smart people and other people is that smart people do this with bigger words and more complex…

Great comment. A few thoughts from an older guy on naive assumptions made by younger people:

1. That your buddies will always be there in the clutch - many times they won't (a good test: whether they will value your friendship over, say, an opportunistic money grab - many people, in my experience, fail this test).

2. That you can succeed with corner-cutting (the easiest way by far to really learn something and to advance is normally the toughest way: to really dive in deeply and master the fundamentals, with hard work, and then to apply what you learned with diligence and hard work to achieve practical outcomes - the "quick" way is almost always inferior, though its lure is always there to entice you when you are young).

3. That ultimate satisfaction will come from the accumulation of money (nothing wrong with gaining financial success but money in itself can never satisfy the deeper needs of life).

4. That you can abuse your body with any form of excess without needing to care about longer-term consequences (big mistake).

5. That you can relate to others in a haughty way without consequence. Younger people are prone to have a sense of invincibility about what they can do. Don't presume. We are all frail and fallible. Treat others as you would have them treat you.

6. That you need not concern yourself with developing a core center for your character. You can lose everything and still keep your character. In the long run, this is what matters most because it ultimately defines you. Work at making it a good one.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#203

Post by chegra »

kranner wrote: post #187
chegra wrote: post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"We believe also that the white race of South Africa should be the predominating race."- Gandhi http://www.trinicenter.com/WorldNews/ghandi4.htm Yes, I'm talking about the early part of his life. Well if you feel comfortable - ex-racist.

Lots of people contribute nothing to racial harmony over their lives and yet they'd be sufficiently politically correct that you couldn't call them racist or ex-racist. Gandhi ended up having undone the damage to an incredible, extraordinary extent. I'm no Gandhi fanboy, but I don't see how the hint of blame that 'ex-racist' implies can be applied to his life.

Maybe you are right. I was using Gandhi as an example of how evaluating ones fault is not necessary the way to judge people for a job. Sure he made these mistake, but it didn't take away from his ability to unite people. That is the point I was trying to make, whether he was a racist or not, his genius still stands.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#205

Post by MrFoof »

Optimize life for your personal enjoyment.

* Live as close as possible to work and a grocery store This eliminates commute costs and time. Alternatively you can walk to work/market, which gives you some exercise. * Minimize spending on stuff you don't need or enjoy. * Minimize foundation costs as much as possible - transport, food, medicine, shelter. This is hard to do without major sacrifices, but can be done. * Minimize time spent on stuff you don't enjoy. For example, you don't need to clean a smaller, less cluttered space as often. You can eliminate the stress/time of commute by living closer to everything.

The idea is to eliminate as many stresses and time wasters as possible, maximizing the amount of free time you have. This gives you time for projects you care about, or just slacking off. If you have too much free time, most of the world will envy your problem.

I have found it is, without question, the best quality of life increase possible.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#206

Post by davidwparker »

Avoid debt, Save money, Give generously, Live frugally.

If you have debt already, then pay it off as fast as possible. Go crazy to pay it off- rice and beans, beans and rice.

When you're done paying off debt, then save vigorously (before paying off debt, make sure you have ~$1000 in the bank for an emergency). But if you have no car payment, no school debt, etc, then you can save soooo much money.

When you've saved a lot of money, then you can give a lot of money. Be generous. Find an issue or something that you really believe in and give. When giving with a grateful heart, you will be really happy.

Finally, just live frugally. You don't always need the latest and greatest tech, or whatever is the cool new gadget or car, etc. Enjoy what you have.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#207

Post by SkyMarshal »

The only things worth spending money on are knowledge (eg, books), experiences (travel, etc.), and relationships.

Most things, at least beyond what's needed for utility (computer, shelter, reliable car if you're not in a city with good transit) are ultimately an unfulfilling waste of money.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#209

Post by SkyMarshal »

beastman82 wrote: post #139
scotty79 wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think experiences are highly overrated. What I've seen, done or felt quickly gets pale and fades into the background. For me nothing can replace learning new interesting things and understanding new interesting concepts.

You should record something about your experiences, whether in pictures, movies, or text. Makes it very easy to relive them in your mind.

Personally I prefer to savor the moment uninterrupted than constantly trying to record it. So many people get so caught up in trying to capture their experiences that they cease to become experiences and just degenerate into more grist for the 'lifestyle' consumerism mill.

Learn to tell stories about it to your kids and grandkids if you must, they way people did for thousands of years before camcorders. But the actual moment is fleeting, so live it, be present in it, don't miss that trying record it.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#210

Post by bmelton »

lsc wrote: post #175
dspeyer wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Another advantage to breadth is that you can recognize when another field's tools might be a better fit for your current problem. Being a pure generalist probably sticks you to the initial triage role (which is no fun), but having a very large number of baseline competencies is handy.

I'm not saying it's not handy. It's great to be good at a lot of things. My point is just that some people learn certain subjects faster than they learn other subjects. my thought is that if it takes the same effort to learn a little in an area where you are bad as to learn a lot in an area where you are good, and you have a limited amount of effort to apply, you are better off applying that effort to the area where…

I'd say that is VERY situational. If the area you're bad at is, for an extreme example, 'managing to complete tasks you start', and something you're good at is 'eating Cheetos really quickly', then you can see where it would make sense to reinforce the bad before bothering to work on the good, just because it's easier.
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