1. Your friends aren't your market, so don't be surprise when they don't read your blog or join your site. It's like offering a guy a skirt to wear; it's just not something they are interested in. 2. Your friends and family really want you to succeed. Even though they might say negative stuff about you trying something new, they want you to succeed. Part of the reason they say these stuff is that they want to prevent…
> 75% of romantic relationship are established through your network. Yes, but if you can cold call you'll get get a wider range of possible results (says a happily married cold caller!).
Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
81–90 of 269 posts
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#82Don't accept "I give you my word" as part of any business negotiation or contract. This probably applies more in the UK, where there is a tradition/myth of gentlemanly conduct between professionals. On a couple of occasions in my 20s I got caught out in situations where the business partner had seemed to be completely trustworthy and had "given their word" that they would do the right thing.
Try to live a modest lifestyle, and save money. In the technology business companies come and go, and you can never rely upon continuous employment. Even in Europe, where there is supposedly a social security "safety net", there will be times when you need to fall back on savings made during the good times (this is assuming that you don't have wealthy parents).
Even if your job appears totally secure, it isn't. When you don't have much experience behind you it is possible to be lulled into a false sense of security. It doesn't matter how big the company is, or how illustrious the clients.
If you're doing contract work, always read the terms of the contract and be prepared to negotiate over clauses that you don't like. Signing up to stuff without reading it can get you into trouble.
In the software world focussing your career around one language or platform can be a mistake. Learn as much as you can about a variety of systems. I didn't make this mistake myself, but saw people who did. Don't let yourself become a language zealot, and avoid closing your mind off to other possibilities.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#83Earlier quoted context omitted.
Forgive me also for being blunt ... what if the person who has the poor track records is yourself? I'm of course referring to myself and others who don't have as a tough sounding username as lionhearted. I think we give the benefit of doubt to people that we could relate to, who have had the same disadvantages and flaws as ourselves (after all, to not do so is to reject ourselves). Does your statement imply that we s…
> what if the person who has the poor track records is yourself? Build a track record! :) The problem with people without track records is that often they talk a good game but haven't built up their game. You goal shouldn't be to convince people that you're now [loyal / effective / honest / disciplined / whatever], it should be to actually build that quality in yourself. Everyone's got no track record at some point.…
Note that you can hire early flameouts in bundles and rotate them when each flames out though. If you can manage that, it's like driving with NOx.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#84I am perfect. Not naive in any way. I am 25.
In the year 2020, you'll find this post of yours - and have a hearty laugh. How do I know? Because around 1998 I wrote quite similar sentiment...
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#85Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#86I am perfect. Not naive in any way. I am 25.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#87Man, forgive me for being blunt, but there's a lot of loser talk in this thread. "Oh you can't learn from others mistakes, you'll make them, blah blah blah..." - no, this is how people feel better about themselves for having not listened to advice and getting wrecked in their own life because of it. Sure, you'll make mistakes, but you shouldn't just accept wandering blindly through life dealing with stuff. This is wh…
"Like, there's tons of literature on good parenting. How many people read it? Like, none." I think that's a really bad example. There's a lot of bullshit in the parenting literature. In a way I find it very disturbing, that we need to learn how to parent our children.
Really? Why?
I've never understood why people look at parenting differently than any other skill you have to learn.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#88Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#89- You can talk yourself into (or out of) anything. The only difference between smart people and other people is that smart people do this with bigger words and more complex arguments. Be confident, but also assume that you are broken in ways you can never spot. Find some ways to get a checksum on life decisions every now and then.
- You don't need very much at all. Maybe a laptop computer and a couple changes of clothes. Pictures and videos of your life. That's about it.
- Nothing will ever replace experiences. No matter how big the car, nice the house, or professional-looking the suit, it's never going to be as much fun or mean as much later as the experiences you have in life. And it's not just having the experience, it's looking forward to them, and planning them, and making pictures, movies, and blogs out of them. The best part, oddly, may be the planning. So planning a 200-dollar trip to the beach in the Fall with people you love may give you many hours of happiness this summer -- along with the fun of the trip itself.
- Learn to keep picking topics and immersing yourself in them. Most everybody will say to drop out and become part of the system -- 9-5 job and TV/games/internet in the evening. If you want a life you could sleep through, that's fine. But if you want a life you can tell stories about, keep reinventing yourself. And that means constantly learning.
- Lots of shit in life that once looked dumb or stupid opens up into this huge panorama of beauty once you learn the rules. In so many things you are like the guy who never saw a baseball game going to the world series. You kind of get it, but it all seems silly. You don't know the rules. Decide to learn how to appreciate music, for instance. Get a few college lectures on tape, get some good music to listen to, hang out with folks who are music connoisseurs. The more you know about various art forms, the richer your life is.
- Forget philosophy and meaning-of-life shit. You're too young. For now, you are what you do. Go do something worthwhile
- Stick to a daily exercise routine at all costs
- If you are changing and getting better, that means you are changing friends too. This was very difficult for me, but you can't hang out with the same folks and expect to become a better person. There are exceptions, of course, but to a large degree your life is controlled by whom you choose to be friends and hang out with. Be aware that you don't want to be the same person at 30 as you were at 20. I'm not saying be an asshole -- keep being friendly by all means -- but be very careful who you hold yourself up against as "normal"
- Dating is a numbers game, like a lot of other things. Learn the skills of dating and don't sweat picking up chicks (or guys)
- Concentrate on your weaknesses. Make them stronger. When you get to your 30s you can work from your strengths, but there has to be some time in your life to work on shit you suck at, and for me it was when I had the most motivation, my 20s.
- Speaking of which, you have to learn management. No matter what you do, there will be a manager. Even if you don't want to be one, you have to understand what the job is like to help out your manager. Being a good leader means being a good servant. This concept sounded easy (or facile) to me in my 20s, but proved hard to apply in practice.
- You are never ready for kids. Have them early while you have energy. Read all the books about kids if you must, but realize that creating a replacement is about the most biologically easy thing you could do. After all, evolution has been working on making you a great gene transferral and primate-raising machine, so don't get paranoid and neurotic about all the latest parenting fashion. Use some sense.
- Everybody wants to be a rock star and win the lottery. Nobody ever does, and the ones that do end up destroying their life. Realize slow success is a million times better than overnight success.
- Much of the stuff in life that normal people do is geared around killing time by distracting you with shiny things of no value. You may never be able to fight this completely, but you should at least deeply understand it and how it affects your goals
- Create. With a passion. There are two major kinds of people in this world, consumers and creators. The herd will push you to consume, life will push you to consume, consumption is the easy and default path, but true joy and a full life come from creating. It does not matter one bit how many people like what you create, just create. Write. Blog. Make videos. Make a movie. Write a program. The longer the format and the more creativity involved, the more you are going to turn on and exercise key parts of your brain. Nobody wants to be 80 and only have stories of being at the office, but fuck, if you were at the office creating something at least you tried to make a difference. I'd rather be that guy than the one who watched Sumo wrestling everyday (or played 20,000 hours of WoW during his 20s) The only thing you're going to have at the end of your life are the decisions you made, the things you created, and memories. Learn to maximize these things.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#90Find a girl. Settle down. If you want, you can marry. (Look at me - I am old, but I'm happy.)