Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
31–40 of 269 posts
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#32That persuasion is about rational explanations (it's not).
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#33Man, forgive me for being blunt, but there's a lot of loser talk in this thread. "Oh you can't learn from others mistakes, you'll make them, blah blah blah..." - no, this is how people feel better about themselves for having not listened to advice and getting wrecked in their own life because of it. Sure, you'll make mistakes, but you shouldn't just accept wandering blindly through life dealing with stuff. This is wh…
Forgive me also for being blunt ... what if the person who has the poor track records is yourself? I'm of course referring to myself and others who don't have as a tough sounding username as lionhearted.
I think we give the benefit of doubt to people that we could relate to, who have had the same disadvantages and flaws as ourselves (after all, to not do so is to reject ourselves).
Does your statement imply that we should try to align ourselves with those who have better track records than our own, and vice versa for those who are inferior? I'm not trying to be facetious, but trying to get you to elaborate applying what you said in a real world context.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#34A couple things from this forty-year old:
1. If you want to have kids, do it sooner rather than later. The sooner you have them, the better: they grow up so fast, you'll still have time in your 40's to enjoy life with them as teenagers, if you're lucky. If you leave it too late, you'll be pretty disconnected from their teen lives, and hell .. what 40-year old doesn't enjoy the odd jaunt with their teenage kids, eh? I know I wish I'd had my kids a decade sooner .. and don't let anyone tell you its hard, either. Its not hard, if you love them enough, to keep your lives together and do well as a family. Family units are the strongest groups you will ever find or belong to, if they are indeed a unit ..
2. The wisdom of the Mob. It doesn't exist in nearly as palatable a form as most people might desire, and there is also the ugly truth that the Mob can be downright stupid. Collective truth is often full of lies. You would be wise to exercise your ability to disassociate yourself from collective thought as often, and as early, as possible. This means, always question "what everyone else knows to be true" four, five, six times, before you use it as a basis for life decisions .. The Mob wishes to Eat you, Individual, and Never Forget That!
3. Save. Save, save, save. 10% of your money saved on a regular basis now is a huge relief in the future. I wish I'd enforced this on myself a bit better in the 20's .. you simply cannot avoid the fact that if you save during your most productive years, your least productive years will be better off for it ..
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#35Man, forgive me for being blunt, but there's a lot of loser talk in this thread. "Oh you can't learn from others mistakes, you'll make them, blah blah blah..." - no, this is how people feel better about themselves for having not listened to advice and getting wrecked in their own life because of it. Sure, you'll make mistakes, but you shouldn't just accept wandering blindly through life dealing with stuff. This is wh…
While there is truth in what you say I can only quote (or rather paraphrase from memory) Michael Mcintyre:
have you ever noticed with ATM's, you go up to it and it says "no, I have no money for you, go away". So, like a good citizen you turn round to the man behind you in the queue and say "it is out of money". And he says "thank you.....", and then steps up to try for himself anyway. "thanks, but I don't believe you, it will work for me".
So, no, you don't have to "learn things the hard way". But most people nod sagely when you give them advice and then do it anyway :) (and that is a good thing IMO)
(I agree with your track records thing; it's too easy to imagine you are giving a "last chance" and that it will really work out this time).
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#36The best advice is: Relax, it's going to be ok. Everyone takes their own path in life. Listen to others but find your own path. When you wake up in the morning ask yourself are you happy? If yes keep doing what you are doing. If no, ask yourself if you could do something to change that, if you can then do that, rinse wash repeat. If you can't do anything about it be happy anyway. In short, just be.
Does this imply staying in your comfort zone? Is this not counter-productive?
It is very unlikely that you will always be in your comfort zone. When you ask yourself this question ever day, "Are you happy?", sooner or later you will find yourself replying back "no". Then you will need to change something to make yourself happy, the action of changing something will take you out of your comfort zone.
I try it often, it works, but you will need to be honest with yourself when you answer this question.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#37The best advice is: Relax, it's going to be ok. Everyone takes their own path in life. Listen to others but find your own path. When you wake up in the morning ask yourself are you happy? If yes keep doing what you are doing. If no, ask yourself if you could do something to change that, if you can then do that, rinse wash repeat. If you can't do anything about it be happy anyway. In short, just be.
Does this imply staying in your comfort zone? Is this not counter-productive?
Depends; if you like being in your comfort zone and can maintain that indefinitely whats the problem?
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#38Not only is life short, it's shorter than you think.
Make your time count.
I don't mean a life round-the-clock serious business, just be mindful of when you are pissing away your time.
Every single person I know suddenly finds themselves thinking, Holy fuck, I'm [40|50|60|...]? How in the hell did that happen?
And you will do the same.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#39Man, forgive me for being blunt, but there's a lot of loser talk in this thread. "Oh you can't learn from others mistakes, you'll make them, blah blah blah..." - no, this is how people feel better about themselves for having not listened to advice and getting wrecked in their own life because of it. Sure, you'll make mistakes, but you shouldn't just accept wandering blindly through life dealing with stuff. This is wh…
"Like, there's tons of literature on good parenting. How many people read it? Like, none."
I think that's a really bad example. There's a lot of bullshit in the parenting literature. In a way I find it very disturbing, that we need to learn how to parent our children.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#40A couple things from this forty-year old: 1. If you want to have kids, do it sooner rather than later. The sooner you have them, the better: they grow up so fast, you'll still have time in your 40's to enjoy life with them as teenagers, if you're lucky. If you leave it too late, you'll be pretty disconnected from their teen lives, and hell .. what 40-year old doesn't enjoy the odd jaunt with their teenage kids, eh? I…
> 3. Save. Save, save, save. 10% of your money saved on a regular basis now is a huge relief in the future. I wish I'd enforced this on myself a bit better in the 20's .. you simply cannot avoid the fact that if you save during your most productive years, your least productive years will be better off for it ..
I just got my first a few months ago and opted to save more than 20% of my gross income (tax-free, you pay taxes when you get it out later). I wasn't used to the money anyway, yet, so it was easy.
Also, if you are not saving already: I guess whenever you get a raise, you can comfortably afford to save like 50% of it--because that money isn't planned into your budget, yet.