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Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

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Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#101

Post by qw »

pavelludiq wrote: post #79

My twenties started 6 months ago, but I've already discovered several of these. I discovered that despite knowing several languages and frameworks, i can't actually program. Despite being able to get descent grades in high-school without studying i can't do it with university material, so i have less time to play with computers, because i actually have to put in effort. I thought smoking is bad for you, the same way…

You're lucky to have discovered this now. I learned it the hard way, when I didn't have the motivation or dedication to study hard at the University. I just hadn't learned how to force myself to study.

A lot of people underestimate what higher education teaches you. You may be able to learn how to program by yourself, but you don't learn how to do the boring hard work.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#102

Post by ju2tin »

I'd like to add something I haven't seen posted yet: Your body may not last as long as you think it will, at least not in top condition. I'm 37 and I've had lower back pain due to a herniated disc for 2 years now. There's no easy fix for it. I can get around and enjoy life, but some of the extreme physical activities I used to like (example: freestyle/backcountry snowboarding) are pretty much off the menu. I'm glad I did them a lot when I was younger.

So I guess what I'm saying is, don't think you can just work a lot when you're younger and do whatever you want when you're older. Nature may limit your options. Make sure you do the things you like to do when your body is strong and healthy enough to handle them.

On that note, take good care of your back. You can heal a broken arm or leg, but you can't heal a herniated disc. You only get one back. Bend from the knees, sit up straight, use ergonomic furniture, and don't walk around with 200-pound backpacks.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#103

Post by seanlinmt »

DanielBMarkham wrote: post #89

- Shiny things are nowhere as much fun after you get them as before, even if they have some value. So yes, that Kindle or iPad or whatever will have a real use, and you will be marginally happier with it than without, but not as much as you think - You can talk yourself into (or out of) anything. The only difference between smart people and other people is that smart people do this with bigger words and more complex…

right on.. i can't agree more

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#104

Post by henrikschroder »

DanielBMarkham wrote: post #89

- Shiny things are nowhere as much fun after you get them as before, even if they have some value. So yes, that Kindle or iPad or whatever will have a real use, and you will be marginally happier with it than without, but not as much as you think - You can talk yourself into (or out of) anything. The only difference between smart people and other people is that smart people do this with bigger words and more complex…

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#105

Post by refresheduk »

henrikschroder wrote: post #104
DanielBMarkham wrote: post #89

- Shiny things are nowhere as much fun after you get them as before, even if they have some value. So yes, that Kindle or iPad or whatever will have a real use, and you will be marginally happier with it than without, but not as much as you think - You can talk yourself into (or out of) anything. The only difference between smart people and other people is that smart people do this with bigger words and more complex…

But trust me on the sunscreen.

lol'd at that - good post though.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#106

Post by ido »

torpor wrote: post #34

A couple things from this forty-year old: 1. If you want to have kids, do it sooner rather than later. The sooner you have them, the better: they grow up so fast, you'll still have time in your 40's to enjoy life with them as teenagers, if you're lucky. If you leave it too late, you'll be pretty disconnected from their teen lives, and hell .. what 40-year old doesn't enjoy the odd jaunt with their teenage kids, eh? I…

    1. If you want to have kids, do it 
    sooner rather than later.
My issue is that kids cost a lot of money, which means you lose quite a lot of flexibility.

I want to start my own business within the foreseeable future (probably 1-2 years, currently saving money, gathering contacts and getting more on-the-job experience in the field I want to operate in).

Right now I know that if I save 20k Euros that could easily last me for well over a year, if you have kids - not so much.

EDIT: I'm 27 and have tried doing my own thing that didn't work so well in the past - that 'failure' taught me I should probably get more experience and contacts before trying again. Saving 20-30k Euros (or more) is not the issue and is a sum I can relatively easily gather in a 1-2 years time-frame.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#108

Post by yummyfajitas »

chegra wrote: post #73
cookiecaper wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know, I think character is a really important trait. If someone is a womanizer and consistently breaks his commitment to his spouse, why should we believe that he will deal any differently with us? One is to have the most intimate, enduring, unbreakable commitment to his spouse, and if this person considers such an intimate connection worthless, why would he place any value on your professional relationship?…

Phil Jackson placed Rodman on the Bulls despite his character flaw and generally being regarded as being unstable. But Rodman was the best at what he did. I think everybody comes with their flaws but choose people based on their genius not on their lack of flaws. I think people have this notion that a person has to be this all around good person, when it is not true. Like Woods, the media needs to present this image…

Neither Rodman nor Woods ever had any incentive to play poorly or otherwise screw over their team.

Hiring untrustworthy people is fine if you can make sure their incentives are 100% aligned with yours. If you can't, then I think cookiecaper's advice is sound.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#109

Post by chegra »

cookiecaper wrote: post #99
chegra wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Phil Jackson placed Rodman on the Bulls despite his character flaw and generally being regarded as being unstable. But Rodman was the best at what he did. I think everybody comes with their flaws but choose people based on their genius not on their lack of flaws. I think people have this notion that a person has to be this all around good person, when it is not true. Like Woods, the media needs to present this image…

Sports stars are something of an unusual situation. Things like instability generate publicity for the given player and his team. Rodman was good for the Bulls because: a. the Bulls is show business; people pay to see characters like Rodman b. celebrity tabloids/news pick up on "unstable" behavior and make a show out of it, which is good publicity and marketing for the subjects c. a long-term steady relationship is n…

[I didn't downvote you, I think you are making some valid points]

What I'm trying to point out is not paint with broad strokes. But evaluate everything and everyone independently of rules.

Flaws of people admired:

1) Gandhi - Racist

2) Martin Luther King - Copy someone's work for his phd. Also an adulterer.

3) Edgar Allan Poe - So disrespectful that he was disowned by his guardians.

4) Tesla - Hated fat people.

5) Steve Jobs - Erratic and Temperamental. Fired employees on the spot

6) Bill Gates - Monopolistic tendencies

7) Mark Zuckerberg - Used delay tactics on his competition to get facebook to market. Hacked people's profile.

8)Vincent van Gogh - Lived with a prostitute. Accused of rape. Was mentally ill. Cut his ear off.

I would say it's best to control these negative tendencies than to try to find flawless people.

Apple tried to control Steve behavior and you see what happened in his absent. While he went on to form NeXT and Pixar, Apple tank.

Sure it will be nice to have someone who isn't temperamental and abrasive but choose genius over any other qualities. I think the rest qualities can be managed. Give Steve a meditation coach(meditation= more empathetic)

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#110

Post by edw519 »

Find a customer first.

This is the biggest mistake I made in my twenties, and it's such an easy mistake to make that I continue to make it now even though I know better.

I continually have ideas popping into my head. And I act on many of them. So much cool stuff. If only I can get this working, it will change the world. And I love being in this mode; it's so much fun. And it can lead to great things...

But you have to know when you're going too far and wasting time, money, and energy. At some point, you have to find a customer. Any kind of customer, just someone besides yourself who wants what you're doing.

When I have had partners, they forced me into this thinking, directing our energy to where the demand was. This always worked out well.

When I worked alone, well let's just say there's tons of cool stuff still on the drawing board that led nowhere. Don't let that happen to you.

I'm not saying to suppress your creativity or experimentation. I'm just saying the point you need to find a customer is much earlier than the hacker mindset intuitively expects.

It there was one thing I could change in my twenties, it would be to adopt this thinking.

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