Does anyone know what is meant by "high ego identities" and "low ego identities?"
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How to make a friend fast
181–190 of 260 posts
Re: How to make a friend fast
#182Interesting how this psychology paper showed up in the context of "making a friend." I had only known of this study as a way of creating romantic relationship, through a NYT Modern Love piece "To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do this." The method is hardly fast though - it requires two people to set aside a good chunk of time in a quiet setting to fully experience the gradual escalation of self-disclosure. When trying ou…
I went through all the questions with 3 other people in the same room all at once about 5-6 years ago. I did not know any of them well. We all became friends and are still friends to this day. It was like magic.
How did it come to pass?
Re: How to make a friend fast
#183Maybe it's because I find this research area intriguing, but I did not think that this summary adequately captured the efforts of the original paper [0]. I think it was unfortunate that this piece did not begin by conveying that the original study's authors specifically state their goal "was to develop a temporary feeling of closeness, not an actual ongoing relationship". Additionally, like many social psychology stu…
> this piece did not begin by conveying that the original study's authors specifically state their goal "was to develop a temporary feeling of closeness, not an actual ongoing relationship".
The post does say this in the second paragraph:
Strangers... [report] a substantial amount of closeness in their relationship after a guided 45-minute conversation. But it's a far stretch to say that such an accomplishment truly creates reliably long-lasting relationships, regardless of the immense immediate effect.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#184I think I might have permanently damaged my vision with that #FFF on #000 color scheme. I still see text floating in the air.
What, really? I'm relieved it's not the #EEE on #FFF combo that seems so popular these days.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#185Earlier quoted context omitted.
In English, spelling is so seemingly arbitrary at times that I just gave up and quit caring so much. Judgment? Judgement? Who cares?! I won't budge on my thoughts on the importance of proper grammar though.
Grammar pedants are the worst. It generally isn't very important if people understand what is being said. There are a few edge cases, but in general its pretty obvious.
Every linguistic anthropologist ever would like to have a word with you ;)
Re: How to make a friend fast
#186What software was used to make this nice diagram?
Re: How to make a friend fast
#187Earlier quoted context omitted.
I went through all the questions with 3 other people in the same room all at once about 5-6 years ago. I did not know any of them well. We all became friends and are still friends to this day. It was like magic.
How did it come to pass?
One of the other three suggested it, not sure why, and then we did it.
For each question we would take turns answering it. We were allowed to say, "Pass," if the question made us too uncomfortable or, if we couldn't think of a good answer fast enough, we could pass and come back to it after everyone else had answered.
We were already at the level of acquaintances, close enough to be at the same location, hanging out, but I didn't trust any of them yet, and they barely knew me.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#188Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I think we underestimate how much all of these contribute to what we call 'personality'. I agree. But there are still people who are not changed much in important qualities despite big changes in their circumstances (e.g. from poor to rich, or from obscurity to fame or power, or vise versa) and others who change behavior totally with the subtlest of life changes. (E.g. now got a more high paying job, let me dump my…
Just watch out that they dropped their poor friends for the reason everyone expects. I don't give a fuck if someone is rich or not, and I have a number of poor friends[1], but I made the conscious decision to cut out friends that I wouldn't befriend if I met them today. Many of the people I cut were poor, but it's not why I cut them. I cut them because they stopped growing after or during highschool. When I talk abou…
>I don't want come over with an expensive scotch and have people mix it with Coca Cola.
I buy $100+ bottles of bourbon and mix it with cola because it takes good, because I like bourbon and cola. Shitty bourbon and cola still tastes like piss. When I'm with my friends that can only afford a bottle of BV and they bought then I suck it up and drink that and treat them with respect and I don't judge them.
You really sound like you should do some self-reflection because from your post you sound like a total asshole.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#189White letters on black background... my eyes are still seeing those letters. Is it just me?
Re: How to make a friend fast
#190After a two year period of watching my boss interact with people, I can confirm that this method works extremely well. He is a "natural", in the sense that he can form close bonds with people incredibly quickly. At first I thought he was using some sort of secret strategy, but after a while I noticed that he was simply sharing personal details about himself (which the article refers to as "self-disclosure") without b…
Bob's statement seems troubling if you take it as meaningful rather than sales patter. There's an inherent conflict between the implications in "What day works best for you?" and "I definitely could not miss that. They meant the world to me."
From the client's perspective, if he reflects on that conversation at all, the question naturally arises: "What if I had said Wednesday?" Would Bob have skipped spending time with his girls, meaning that his actual statement was a lie? Would Bob have demurred and suggested another day, because the implicit offer of any day next week was false? What other things will Bob try to slide past the client? The chance for this sales process to be collaborative and mutually beneficial seems to have been weakened, given that the client has evidence that Bob will say whatever he has to say to make the sale...
If it's not obvious, I am not in sales. :/