lock them up and dont give them any food
How to make a friend fast
111–120 of 260 posts
Re: How to make a friend fast
#112That would be absolutely unreadable if not for firefox "Reader View" feature. Picture is still unreadable, of course.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#113Earlier quoted context omitted.
After having read about self-disclosure I started doing this and never looked back. Also I forgot that I had it from reading a psychology experiment. I've learned that it mostly works. In some cases though people see you as someone who doesn't always say something relevant. What also works (more specifically) is: you share a certain secret about you, and if that person has a similar secret you get to hear it as well.…
Don't want to question the value of your experience but I couldn't help noticing that your example and enraged_camel's examples all take place in the context of (mild) danger and risk. Employer-employee; employee-client; travel abroad. Could it be that shared adversity is the key to bonding? Personal revealings would then follow gradually as a natural consequence. In this view the best way to make friends would be to…
There is definitely evidence for shared adversity being helpful for bonding, but I think it's a stretch to somehow say employment is adversity.
By that logic, pretty much every interaction we have is through shared adversity.
(It's true that I've had some amount of shared adversity with all my close friends though.)
Re: How to make a friend fast
#114That reads like the instructions on pick-up artist forums.
Is that surprising? Effective pickup is rooted in psychology.
Sales, romantic attraction, and friendship-building ultimately use the same skill set. Humans don't change huge amounts in different contexts, and the best tactics are often cross-applicable.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#115This is fascinating. I have for a long time been the introverted socially incompetent and weird (partially) one.
A lot of that has changed for me recently. Going to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu for a year now and doing more yoga has really helped me to figure out a lot of traumatic issues from the past, especially with racism during childhood.
It's really reduced my fear of socializing with people. I'm now somewhere in between extrovert and introvert and I've noticed that self-disclosure happens a lot more and interactions have improved with strangers. Even small talk happens now and then. I've always hated small talk.
I don't like the extrovert/introvert/attachment type labelling though. Reading on them or discussing them with others has some kind of effect of boxing you in to self-limiting thought patterns. It can be a good starting point to figure things out, but I implore people to not think you're stuck in your ways.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#116After a two year period of watching my boss interact with people, I can confirm that this method works extremely well. He is a "natural", in the sense that he can form close bonds with people incredibly quickly. At first I thought he was using some sort of secret strategy, but after a while I noticed that he was simply sharing personal details about himself (which the article refers to as "self-disclosure") without b…
Your boss almost certainly learned that trick from something like Dale Carnegie/Carnegey and practiced it.
Oversharing with strangers (bragging about loving your children?!) is a classic manipulative tactic.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#117Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm 78 days and 3 hours into it. There's not a day where I don't miss it, but there are no more cravings at this point. Just the good memories :P Stay strong!
Almost 7 years. You won't think about it unless you smell it... then you miss it a bit, but just a bit. You might put on a few pounds too as you start to actually taste food.
>You might put on a few pounds too as you start to actually taste food.
TL;DR How to Make a Friend Fast -- (1) smoke with them, so when they quit and need to drop a few pounds (2) they'll start fasting.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#118This is fascinating. I have for a long time been the introverted socially incompetent and weird (partially) one. A lot of that has changed for me recently. Going to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu for a year now and doing more yoga has really helped me to figure out a lot of traumatic issues from the past, especially with racism during childhood. It's really reduced my fear of socializing with people. I'm now somewhere in betwee…
i just want to point out the danger of associating introversion with social incompetence because the association is a poorly realized stereotype. it is entirely possible and not uncommon for an introvert to be highly socially competent.
introversion and extroversion are more descriptors of how one handles mental energy than ratings of social competence and degrees of shyness.
for example, i can be very social and outgoing at parties, but they completely exhaust me, and i don't like them. i am introverted because i prefer to direct my mental energy in a more inward, reflective way, and any process that impedes that (e.g., a party) can be very exhausting. it has little to do with how well i can handle myself socially.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#119Earlier quoted context omitted.
You fear people will imagine you are close? Or you fear people won't feel close to you when you feel close?
Being unable to tell the difference between someone that likes you versus someone who is just being polite, and if you consider them a "friend" and act "accordingly" they would consider you a socially incompetent weirdo.
You can never know what's in another person's heart, heck, it's hard enough to know what's in your own heart sometimes.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#120"Low ego-identity makes same-sex pairs closer, high ego-identity makes cross-sex pairs closer" Perhaps this statement is true, but is the end goal for both parties the same? For some reason, I find myself befriending mainly females (I am male). Yes, I have a high ego. However, I can never tell if the other person is interested in a friendship or something more. I always want to put them in the friend zone, but I have…
I wonder if this is the same across cultures?
I'm a guy and high ego myself, and all my close friends are guys. I also joined a frat in college. Most of the time, if I"m trying to "befriend" a woman it's for romantic reasons.