This thread look heavily censored. That doesn't encourage to speak up.
Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”
141–150 of 416 posts
Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”
#142Earlier quoted context omitted.
Let's stop perpetuating this myth that this is a "few rotten apples". This is a systemic problem in our industry, and we need to all realize this, so that we can start teaching each other what behavior is and is not appropriate in a very clear, concise, and precise manner.
I agree that we can teach each other what kind of culture we want to instill, and one that allows people to work in an environment that boosts their potential. However, from my observations, to flat out list a finite list of behaviorism, will manifest yet another set of behaviorism, which will manifest another list. I do not view this as a simple systematic problem, but rather a deep-wedged symptom of a sick society.…
Oh what a dream. If only.
Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”
#143As the father of three daughters I always cringe a bit when I read things like this. Thanks Cheryl for sharing your story, and men please remember it isn't how you feel about whether or not an action was appropriate or inappropriate, it is how they feel about it.
By that standard, the only way to never do anything inappropriate is to never do anything.
Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”
#144Elizabeth Yin (500 startups partner) just quit:
https://techcrunch.com/2017/07/03/employee-email-claims-500-...
Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”
#145This thread look heavily censored. That doesn't encourage to speak up.
'Censorship' has become more pejorative than informative, but you're right that users are downvoting and flagging comments; I think pretty fairly. Wherever moderators have intervened (in any way that affects comment visibility), we've posted comments saying so. That goes for the previous threads too.
Not every kind of comment is welcome here. HN is trying for higher-quality discussion. (Trying and failing, of course. But we can always fail better.) Comments that destroy the possibility of higher-quality discussion should certainly be flagged—otherwise the community is hostage to every kind of trolling.
Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”
#146Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Asking for a written legal waiver before planting a kiss on someone you're passionate about seems essentially where all this is leading, and I really can't stand the thought of that. You won't need a written legal waiver, you could simply ask if it is ok. If you don't ask you're taking your chances that the other person reads the situation just like you do. Just yesterday a friend of mine ended up in an elevator wi…
I think the written legal waiver was mentioned because it would be the only verifiable evidence to defend yourself against someone claiming such advances were unwarranted.
That's one more reason to make sure they are. If there is ambiguity it is safer to err on the side of caution. Note that anybody that you were in a room with could make up such a story, so you're always going to have to rely on good faith to some extent and false accusations really do happen.
Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”
#147As the father of three daughters I always cringe a bit when I read things like this. Thanks Cheryl for sharing your story, and men please remember it isn't how you feel about whether or not an action was appropriate or inappropriate, it is how they feel about it.
By that standard, the only way to never do anything inappropriate is to never do anything.
HN badly needs a waiting period for new accounts, between these threads and political ones after the election. Like, even an hour.
Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”
#148Earlier quoted context omitted.
> You seem to believe that we are in scenario 1. What I've seen professionally makes me believe this, definitely. And that view is consistent across 30 years in the industry with stints in various sub-branches of IT and/or fields that require IT services (which is pretty much anything nowadays). Let me reprhase this in a more direct way so there is no misunderstanding: I have yet to see a female friendly company in I…
>I have yet to see a female friendly company in IT. This is a very different claim than what you made above. Even within a company, a minority of people can cause a majority of the problems. Indeed, for any toxic behavior I can think of, it only takes one employee to take down a team, and the problem often spreads beyond that team. I see no reason to believe sexual assault is any different. Again, the question of if…
I strongly believe this is a societal problem, not a 'women in tech' problem, though it is quite probably a fact that women in tech have it somewhat harder than women in society on average but judging by who run the worlds corporations and who make the worlds laws it's probably a safe bet that that gap is smaller than it seems just because we happen to look at the world through a filter shaped by technology.
Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”
#149As the father of three daughters I always cringe a bit when I read things like this. Thanks Cheryl for sharing your story, and men please remember it isn't how you feel about whether or not an action was appropriate or inappropriate, it is how they feel about it.
By that standard, the only way to never do anything inappropriate is to never do anything.
No. If you think that is the only way - to interact without a shred of empathy or self-awareness of your own actions - then you may be part of the problem.
Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”
#150It's 10x sad because she's an Asian female (most of the victims are either Asian or another minority group). Unfortunately there is a lot of self-hating and white-is-right mentality among Asians. Why do you think so many westerners goto Asia to "teach" English? Edit: this is an un-PC opinion and casting a wide net, so downvote all you want, but this is well documented and discussed online. And if you've traveled thro…
We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14692671 and marked it off-topic.