Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

Believe it or not, there is stuff happening that you are not aware of. If your first reaction to hearing such things is "Well I've never seen it, therefore it probably doesn't exist", maybe some self-reflection is in order.

See Wolf of Wall St for most vivid example. I'll also add it's extremely common in sales all over the country. Especially telemarketing, phone sales, boiler rooms, and so on. A large number of women I've talked to over the years in those positions say it's crazy. That movie even brought flashbacks for at least one I talked to who told me of huge parties with barbeque, pools, drugs, and tabs for employees for beer and hotel rooms. I actually went to the first half of one of that company's parties at her invitation. Too crazy and too many hard drugs for me so I left. I've seen similar stuff at corporate offices of what you'd consider boring industries where on the executive or senior level they'd waste company money on parties with dates, secretaries, hookers or whatever. Nowhere near as extreme as the Wolf but same problems.

So, yeah, I have probably over a hundred anecdotes especially in sales but in general saying the right-leaning, ultra-capitalist areas have a lot of it nobody cares to report. Plus, it gets worse in "right to work" (aka fire without cause) states where there's limited job availability or the man/woman being harassed has been at company so long them not getting a reference can be held over them. Lots of reasons not to report.

Any VC whose reaction to this is "oh I guess I should avoid taking meetings with women because I just can't know what goof will cause me to get sued" is probably already making some women uncomfortable.

If you cannot understand how _stupidly easy_ it is to have a completely non-sexual, non-harassing conversation with a member of the opposite sex, you most definitely should read up on some stuff. I mean this in the most non-snarky way possible.

Wouldn't it be nice if half the population weren't completely turned off by the idea of talking to anyone in tech?

The smart ones might take more, less competition for the ones with good ideas/products.

I'm a US, straight (the subject of the OP is men hitting on women, so, for me to give my experience as examples, it's important to note that I'm a straight male), US, native born, white (for my examples, it's likely also relevant to note that I'm in the majority of the people in the subject of the OP), male.

From my first girlfriend to my (late) wife, I've always treated girls/women as angels.

But in the work place, I had several girls/women make it clear they wanted something physical and romantic, that is, sexual, with me.

Example 1: I was a college prof also helping the college in practical computing, and she was on the college administrative staff. She wanted to talk to me. Leaning back in her office chair, facing me, her legs aimed at me, so I could get a view of the back side of her thighs, she put her feet up on her desk and announced that she and her husband had an "open marriage".

I thought: Okay. Good for you. What's that got to do with me? I'm married, and my marriage is not "open". And even if it was, or even if I were not married, sorry. I make the first move, and this college is a target rich environment where you wouldn't pass the initial cutoff.

Example 2: A student, call her a girl, wasn't doing very well in my applied math class. In class she sat in the front row with a sweater with too many buttons undone at the top. She looked terrified about my course. She came to see me in office hours. Sure, I'd give her in my office, any student, a one on one, personalized, repeat of the lectures, the course material, anything in the course, just tutor them if necessary. As I was going over some of the material trying to get her caught up, she sat close and rubbed her knee against my thigh.

I thought: Okay. You seem desperate. But you are safe with me. Let's concentrate on the applied math and get you through this course.

And there were several other examples.

I was not upset, offended, afraid, outraged, threatened, worried, etc.

And what complicated responses and reactions did I have to those proposals? Sure, exactly nothing, zip, zilch, zero. Easy.

If we are to have gender equality, then maybe the women should do something similar? E.g., in steps: Ignore it and concentrate on the work. Quit smiling. Scowl. Say something nasty. Scream. Bite, scratch, kick. Have a 6" hat pin and use it.

More advice: Don't dress like Fox Babes. Instead, if wearing skirts, have them about a foot longer so that when sitting the hem of the skirt is well over the knees, and modesty is preserved even if the knees are not together.

If Rafe Testosteroni doesn't like the hat pin, then he should stay out of range.

As a startup founder, CEO, the case I'm afraid of is too many of the females don't have enough pressing work to do, scare each other, form a herd, get highly energized and determined, and show up at my office with some lawyers complaining that Rafe Testosteroni routinely makes them "feel uncomfortable". Some of the women are convinced that Rafe is undressing them with his eyes. So far Rafe has never come within hat pin range, but all the women are very concerned. They all agree that they are highly concerned because they can't be sure just what Rafe is thinking or might do.