Read it to my spouse as she lay in bed... she loved it!
And her first comment was can she have a business card... with the title "Startup Spouse"...
Awesome!
Just add a Facebook share link... so I can share on Facebook. :)
Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?
11–20 of 29 posts
Re: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?
#12My co-founder and I are both married with small children. We were both full time developers before founding our company. We started working on a side project at night for a few months and then heard about a local Utah version of YCombinator called http://www.BoomStartup.com (We're IActionable.com). We were accepted, but there were many late night discussions with my wife as we tried to figure out a plan to survive on…
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. I'm glad you and your co-founder both have supportive wives, as I do feel we add a lot ;) I would love to hear their stories sometime!
Re: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?
#13I'm assuming you've seen this, but if you haven't: http://ea-spouse.livejournal.com/274.html
Oh God, yeah. Working like crazy for yourself is one thing. Forcing others to adopt crazy work habits is another.
If people are genuinely excited about working for you and choose to put in long hours, you thank them, reward them for their efforts and remind them to go home, eat, sleep, spend time with their family, etc. Some people have higher thresholds, some people lower, so I don't think you can enforce any particular rule straight across the board. But you can provide a healthy environment. If my husband ever became a tyrant, he wouldn't be my husband anymore. He knows that :)
Re: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?
#14My wife and I have been married my entire start-up career (going on 8 years). I think she'd more or less describe it much like me having any other job. I've never worked particularly long hours. I probably carry a bit more stress than others, but that's really it (and I've gotten pretty good at managing it).
... You're pulling my leg, right? :)
You must be really good at managing your time, being efficient, and resisting the urge to take your work to bed with you!
Do you offer coaching services? lol
Re: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?
#15Read it to my spouse as she lay in bed... she loved it! And her first comment was can she have a business card... with the title "Startup Spouse"... Awesome! Just add a Facebook share link... so I can share on Facebook. :)
Thanks so much. I'd love to hear any stories she'd like to share.
The business card idea is brilliant! Maybe I should offer those? lol
I've added a share widget to the sidebar, thanks for the suggestion :)
Re: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?
#16Nice idea :) A friend once gave me this advice: "I work all the time. Day, night, weekends, all the time. Sometimes my wife will want some time with me, just to talk. But since I’m always busy, I’m usually at my computer when we have our conversations. What she’s noticed is, I only half-listen when I’m doing that. I’m splitting my attention between her and my laptop. "This hasn’t been good. I could tell it was affect…
That is great advice. We've noticed the same half-listening thing. I'm just as guilty if my husband tries to speak to me when I'm working on any writing or translation projects. Or even if I'm engrossed in a Twitter convo ;)
A startup marriage takes effort (from both sides) but it really is worth it and so much fun :)
Thanks for the link and the feedback!
Re: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?
#17Nice first post and like how you've written it in a gender-neutral tone. It kind of depresses me as I envy people who have supporting partners, and feel as an entrepreneurial woman those attributes are harder to come by in a male partner. I know it's generalising, but most guys want to take the centre stage. Do they want to hold the home and emotional front together? Probably not. Sigh... :-)
Thank you. I tried to be neutral without sounding stuffy, as a lot of lit with "s/he" tends to sound (in my opinion). Plus it really annoys me when people assume all entrepreneurs are men, or that no entrepreneurs are gay. I may not always remember to do the "s/he" thing, but I wanted the first post to establish that neutrality.
If you want a supportive partner, you will find one. It may not happen right away and it'll probably be when/where you least expect it, but it'll happen. In the meantime, don't be any less than 100% happy just because you haven't found him yet :) You know that saying about smiling all the time because you never know who could be falling in love with your smile at that moment? Yeah it sounds cheesy but it's true ;)
It would be great if there was a study done about whether those attributes are more common in women. I'm sure there are some great men to be found that would gladly give up centre stage to a strong woman :) I'll keep my eyes open ;)
Wait, did I just add matchmaker to my list of duties? lol
Re: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?
#18Very cool concept. My wife could probably write a book about what she puts up with... a supportive spouse makes all the difference. I'll tell her to follow the blog :)
Thanks so much. I'm sure she has many entertaining experiences she could recount :) Please tell her to share some!
Re: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?
#19http://www.thestartupspouse.com ^Clickable.
Thanks ;)
Re: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?
#20Me and my wife work on the startups together. She is good with people and I good with systems, so it makes a good team. It make more sense as all the the dynamics are already in place.