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“Let her speak please”

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Re: “Let her speak please”

#111

Post by rainbowmverse »

exodust wrote: post #61
Quarrelsome wrote: post #35

he doesn't interrupt just her. His role is host, his role is to move the conversation about and yes he does fuck up by saying some stuff he should leave to her. However to me the evocative language used in the Facebook post suggests there is an aspect of deliberately seeking out "injustice" and being overly sensitive to it and seeing the world as a gender battle. If you're looking at the world through such a frame yo…

That's spot on. Unfortunately the swarm of social media opinion in support of the more scornful verdict, is what the news outlets pick up and run with regardless of truth. That said, he was insensitive at the point in question where he should have let her speak. You could sort of tell he was trying to organise and grasp the ideas in his own mind, probably in an effort to stay on top of things. A clumsy moderator mome…

The only thing as annoying as a moderator who speaks over guests is a guest who speaks over the moderator. Moderators are there for a reason. If they aren't doing their job, the whole thing descends into an anarchy of people talking past each other while the least bold panelists sit there quietly bemused.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#112

Post by tnone »

smirksirlot wrote: post #93

This thread is basically people stumbling over themselves trying to defend how this is NOT sexist or justify the varying degrees of sexism. Some of the fun examples: - men get talked over too! (doesn't mean this isn't sexist) - he's just an asshole (doesn't mean he's not a sexist asshole) - that woman is just looking for a social justice moment (how about the rest of the audience?)

No this thread is a response to obvious and blatant grievance mongering about one anecdote.

If you don't want to be interrupted, keep talking. If the moderator is an ass, he's an ass.

If you expect to always be treated with respect by default, a) you're privileged and b) you're deluded. Those men probably learnt to assert themselves because if they didn't, they'd be invisible. The woman on the other hand learned that if she waits long enough, someone will stand up for her and everyone will applaud.

So the cycle continues, that those whose problems are automatically taken seriously by most are those who are the least self sufficient and the most coddled. Hacker culture and the internet doesn't apply this rule so much, most of all because physical attractiveness and charisma is usually out of the picture.

What's that line again, about how when you're used to privilege, equal treatment feels like oppression? Strange how nobody examines it in both directions.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#113

Post by andrepd »

throwaway91111 wrote: post #43
obstacle1 wrote: post #23

What's really interesting is that the author only became 'boiling' with rage when this socially-unaware moderator talked over the woman on the panel, not when he talked over the other men. This kind of behavior is extremely common in STEM, and happens to everyone. If you don't talk with confidence, purpose, and animation, you're going to get talked over by the alpha nerd of the group. Man, woman, or purple elephant.…

What's really interesting is that every time sexism comes up there are volunteers eager to show it isn't sexism.

Maybe you would like to address the substance of the comment, otherwise your only argument is "you are arguing and you shouldn't".

Re: “Let her speak please”

#114

Post by pbhjpbhj »

cooper12 wrote: post #24
marvin wrote: post #14

Aaaaaand it's flagged. No surprises there. I was refreshing every five minutes to see how long it would take. [Edit: Thanks to the mods for taking responsibility for allowing this discussion].

The mere thought that the world isn't a meritocracy frightens techbros. Any word ending in -ism is like a swear word to them. It's a really big problem that no one wants to acknowledge and if you do bring it up suddenly you're an SJW, combative, political, etc... It speaks numbers that in the link so many people had the same thought as the author, but were afraid to speak out. We've successfully stigmatized calling p…

Or the flagging is because these issues are trawled over here regularly and never really go anywhere, and people feel there are already better fora to discuss those issues?

Re: “Let her speak please”

#116

Post by d3ad1ysp0rk »

walterstucco wrote: post #105
jasonshen wrote: post #11

Edit: I watched the video. The moderator goes on and on and the "let her speak please" sounds very polite. This is a painfully frustrating reminder that women get talked over by men. It's one thing to have one panelist talk over another, but to have the moderator, who is explicitly in charge of facilitating a panel discussion, be the one to drown out a panelist is just unacceptable. Yes, "not all men" do this, but th…

> This is a painfully frustrating reminder that women get talked over by men men get talked over as well some people just talk over other people nothing new

What an absolutely baseless argument.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#117

Post by ivraatiems »

exodust wrote: post #61
Quarrelsome wrote: post #35

he doesn't interrupt just her. His role is host, his role is to move the conversation about and yes he does fuck up by saying some stuff he should leave to her. However to me the evocative language used in the Facebook post suggests there is an aspect of deliberately seeking out "injustice" and being overly sensitive to it and seeing the world as a gender battle. If you're looking at the world through such a frame yo…

That's spot on. Unfortunately the swarm of social media opinion in support of the more scornful verdict, is what the news outlets pick up and run with regardless of truth. That said, he was insensitive at the point in question where he should have let her speak. You could sort of tell he was trying to organise and grasp the ideas in his own mind, probably in an effort to stay on top of things. A clumsy moderator mome…

> Let's not forget, she had the right to speak up and say "can I answer the question"... We all have the responsibility and option to guide things back on track if something isn't running smoothly. Don't just sit there waiting for balance to restore, or for the audience to come to rescue, do something about it.

Women who do this are very often shamed and called "pushy" or "aggressive" for doing so, even though a man doing it would garner no such complaint. The cultural position of "take charge and get what you want" being appropriate doesn't apply for women. The advice you're giving, frankly, is part of the problem.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#118

Post by walterstucco »

watwut wrote: post #32
kirRoyale wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You know men get talked over by women too?

Well, in this instance, if you watch the video, males were treated differently. Yes, hypothetically, if women acted the same (or interrupted only males), she would be as bad as he was. Yes, hypothetically, if he treated males and females the same, he would be just equal opportunity asshole. Nevertheless, in this specific case, the only women was treated differently.

> in this instance, if you watch the video, males were treated differently.

and in other instances women were treated differently.

so what? what's the point?

do you wanna say that this instance represent the way women are generally treated when they talk?

Re: “Let her speak please”

#119

Post by maroonblazer »

jacobolus wrote: post #95
cynicalbastard wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Journalists definitely like to hear themselves talk, even when formulating questions while moderating a discussion. slightly off topic, but with the rise of ubiquitous audio/video and the interview/discussion/panel format, it is infuriating how many hosts just blatantly speak over their guests, over and over and over. it's one of the biggest tells between a professional interviewer and a rank amateur. i can barely…

Charlie Rose has been an absolutely abysmal interviewer his whole career, which is a tragedy considering how good they are at booking great guests. He asks long leading questions, proceeds to answer them himself, and then tacks on an “isn’t that right?” at the end. When the guest inevitably says “that’s not how I think of it, Charlie, let me explain ...”, he then interrupts and repeats his original claim again. Ugh,…

Can't agree more with this assessment of Rose. I don't understand how he got or keeps his job.

I wish they'd give that position to Alec Baldwin. His work on "Here's the Thing" has proven him to be an adept interlocutor. While he also has a tendency to talk over his guests it's usually to help enlighten or at least to say something funny.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#120

Post by walterstucco »

d3ad1ysp0rk wrote: post #116
walterstucco wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This is a painfully frustrating reminder that women get talked over by men men get talked over as well some people just talk over other people nothing new

What an absolutely baseless argument.

kinda looks like you never talked in public with other people…
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