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My Family’s Slave

theatlantic.com

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Re: My Family’s Slave

#561

Post by yardie »

nirav72 wrote: post #515
yardie wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you're familiar with Indian culture you can kind of tell the caste from the surname.

Not really. Sure you can most likely tell a Brahmin by their surname. But anything below that in the caste hierarchy and hard to tell. For example in Gujarat, many lower caste people have last names that are same as Rajputs. They changed their names to avoid discrimination.

Oh definitely agree their. I've met a quite a few Indians (I assume some were Brahmin) in university. They all shared the same surnames like Chakrabati, Mithra, Gupta, etc. Yet, none of them were even remotely related. I was told the names were derived from castes.

In the west we still have nobel names like "de la", von, etc. as indicators that this person is of royal decent.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#562

Post by Mz »

jackhack wrote: post #558
Mz wrote: post #295

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You might look into the insane stuff that has happened to housing. That is possibly a better explanation for why it now takes two incomes to try to keep a roof over our heads.

Econ 101. More income is chasing the scarce resource that is housing. Thus prices increase (supply/demand curve). It is the same with the cost of education increasing horrifically due to the open firehose of student loans making price no-longer-an-object-of-consideration. Both are enormously overinflated bubbles.

In the 1950s, new homes were around 1200 sq. ft. and housed an average of about 3.5 people. These days, new homes are around 2500 sq. ft. and house around 2.5 people. They also have more amenities, such as appliances. Meanwhile, homelessness is on the rise and the availability of affordable housing has been shrinking for decades.

Excerpt from my own writing:

http://whathelpsthehomeless.blogspot.com/2015/09/affordable-...

Wages may play a role, but "housing inflation" in terms of houses getting bigger and more luxurious and thus forcing costs up absolutely is a huge problem in this country. Plus, we razed something like 80% of SROs in the 60s and 70s.

There is a huge and growing shortage of actually affordable housing in this country. This has been true for decades. It is one of the reasons I am not crazy about the idea of basic income. If we don't do something about this trend, it won't matter if you cut a check to all the poor people. Many of them will still be either homeless or crowded together horribly in situations they find objectionable.

We basically assume these days that single people in their twenties with entry level jobs should get into housing really designed for a family and share it with roommates. This is basically a post 1980 expectation. Historically, people rented a room in the form of an SRO or a room at a boarding house when they were just starting out. Now, we view those as something provided for chronic losers who can't find another way off the street rather than just cheap housing for single people who don't need much space.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#563

Post by sumzup »

akalin wrote: post #547

Here is a damning Twitter thread comparing the article to Lola's published obituary: https://twitter.com/caulkthewagon/status/864656017480708102 It makes the author and his family a lot less sympathetic.

It doesn't seem particularly damning (relative to the Atlantic article). It's pretty much what you'd expect out of someone who was hiding the truth.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#564

Post by mangodrunk »

throwaway9980 wrote: post #281
sillysaurus3 wrote: post #270

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a male, I'd personally prefer to live a life filled with traditional housewife work. Kids are fun, and I'd like raising them. I like cooking. Cleaning is pretty fun. More than that, though, employment sucks. If you keep me fed, clothed, and with an internet connection, I'd be happy as a clam, even spending eight hours a day doing nothing but housework. I sometimes wonder if there are others who feel this way, espe…

It often feels like two income households are counter productive. Sure, we make more money, but it feels like 2x the dollars chasing 1.5x the pie out in the world. And then you have to pay for childcare. As for the household work, I was just telling someone today how much I miss being able to work all the time. I love my kids and they come first, but it's a sacrifice to for me not to work 12+ hour days.

I think you're right about two income households being counter productive. Why do we work so much? It's crazy to me that both parents will go to work, missing out on spending time and raising children (if they have them). Is the comfort really worth the time we could be spending with our children or just ourselves? I don't think so.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#566

Post by sctb »

imesh wrote: post #102
lordnacho wrote: post #20

I had a terrible "Billy" moment a few years ago. I was travelling and a friend said I could use her house, because it was empty. This was perfect for me, since I had a wife and kid. It turns out there was a housekeeper. She did everything for us, made us feel very comfortable, cooked, served, helped with the kid, etc. Then one day I found out she didn't have her own room, despite the place being a multi storey mansio…

Yeah, a lot of people would act like you, a lot of people also wouldn't. Just because others are pussies doesn't mean I have sympathy for you being a pussy.

This comment is not OK on Hacker News no matter what you're replying to.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: My Family’s Slave

#567

Post by poweribo »

jordigh wrote: post #554
akalin wrote: post #547

Here is a damning Twitter thread comparing the article to Lola's published obituary: https://twitter.com/caulkthewagon/status/864656017480708102 It makes the author and his family a lot less sympathetic.

I didn't find the author very sympathetic. He obviously knew something was wrong but never did enough to fix it. I think the article was more of a confession than anything. I get the feeling that the author was wracked with guilt.

how would you fix it as a teenager? did you get to the part where he took Lola to live with his family and treated like a real family? she was already family. looks like you didnt read the whole story.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#568

Post by poweribo »

pfooti wrote: post #236
achou wrote: post #141

Truly remarkable story. One thing that struck me is that Lola did so much of the work of a traditional mother's role: raising the kids, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and even providing emotional support. The mother had to take on a traditional father's role in bringing home an income. And the actual father - well, he did neither role and seemed to just freeload, gamble, abuse, and finally disappear. All of the work in…

So, her name wasn't actually Lola. It was Eudocia Tomas Pulido. Lola was literally her slave name. There's a lot to talk about in the article, and I'm not super-excited about digging deep into that here on hn, but I think it's worthwhile to point out her real name.

"Lola" in latin america is a common feminine name. "Lola" in Philippines simply means grandma. You dont have have to be their real grandma to be called Lola. Any elder can be called Lolo (grandpa) or Lola (grandma) as a sign of respect.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#569

Post by placeybordeaux »

akalin wrote: post #547

Here is a damning Twitter thread comparing the article to Lola's published obituary: https://twitter.com/caulkthewagon/status/864656017480708102 It makes the author and his family a lot less sympathetic.

The obit reads more or less as you'd expect from someone both trying to hide a horrible secret and honor that person's memory.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#570

Post by PhasmaFelis »

Mz wrote: post #560
PhasmaFelis wrote: post #428

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not vilifying her because she found a way of succeeding in male-dominated world. I'm vilifying her because she kept a slave that she abused horribly. This story could have been a heartwarming tale of a non-traditional family if the parents weren't basically monsters towards Lola.

FWIW, I went and checked your comments and nothing you said was what I was talking about. I don't think your remarks about the mother had even been made when I made my comment. There are people who are talking about the terrible thing the mother did when her own father wanted to punish her for lying and she said "Lola will take my punishment." Why vilify her and not her father, who made Lola a slave to begin with, wh…

> FWIW, I went and checked your comments and nothing you said was what I was talking about. I don't think your remarks about the mother had even been made when I made my comment.

I'm talking about what's in the article we're discussing. If you were talking about one specific incident only, you should have said that.

If the mother isn't responsible because her father was abusive, why assume that her father was responsible either? Maybe his parents were also abusive.

The cycle of abuse is an awful thing, but adults must take responsibility for their own actions.

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