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My Family’s Slave

theatlantic.com

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Re: My Family’s Slave

#141

Post by achou »

Truly remarkable story.

One thing that struck me is that Lola did so much of the work of a traditional mother's role: raising the kids, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and even providing emotional support. The mother had to take on a traditional father's role in bringing home an income. And the actual father - well, he did neither role and seemed to just freeload, gamble, abuse, and finally disappear.

All of the work in a traditional mother's role, well it's usually uncompensated too. Sure it's a "labor of love" but it's also just a huge amount of work, for decades. An argument could be made that the entire capitalist system is built upon uncompensated labor. Just ask your mom.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#142

Post by pcr0 »

seppin wrote: post #116
tmaly wrote: post #114

Lola happens to be the word for Grandma in the Philippines. The description of this idea of a live in slave is alive and well in many parts of Asian and the Middle East. Life in the Philippines is quite a struggle especially in the provinces. I know of a few people that live and work in Hong Kong doing the same job described in the article, but they are doing it for two families for very little pay.

I am wrong to think that this kind of thing is more acceptable in Asia than anywhere else?

Even more so in parts of the Middle East.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#143

Post by darpa_escapee »

lordnacho wrote: post #49
bflesch wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So you're trying to tell us that your feeling of uncomfortness is the only thing stopping you from growing a spine and standing up for such an inhumane treatment, that apart from you nobody else can witness? Have some decency and confront your so-called friend. How can people be rich and not have the decency to give the person feeding you and your family a freaking room. And I really had to constrain myself from usin…

> Have some decency and confront your so-called friend. Sounds like you haven't been in this situation. You know, there's often a gap between how good we think we are, and how good we are. I feel terrible about it, and the subject comes up now and again of whether we should say something, and my wife and I feel bad. It's easy to tell people what they should do, I do it all the time as well, even to myself.

I have confronted and ended friendships over things like former friends talking to service people like they are somehow better than them or own them. I can't look at someone the same after that type of behavior. Your friend literally owns a person.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#144

Post by MrZongle2 »

lacampbell wrote: post #130
MrZongle2 wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Western cultures were the ones who decided slavery was a universal sin and had to be eradicated everywhere. Were they wrong?

No, they were not. Slavery is a universal wrong.

Well, I agree. I just am surprised that its condemnation seems rather....muted in some of these replies.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#145

Post by retube »

bflesch wrote: post #26
lordnacho wrote: post #20

I had a terrible "Billy" moment a few years ago. I was travelling and a friend said I could use her house, because it was empty. This was perfect for me, since I had a wife and kid. It turns out there was a housekeeper. She did everything for us, made us feel very comfortable, cooked, served, helped with the kid, etc. Then one day I found out she didn't have her own room, despite the place being a multi storey mansio…

So you're trying to tell us that your feeling of uncomfortness is the only thing stopping you from growing a spine and standing up for such an inhumane treatment, that apart from you nobody else can witness? Have some decency and confront your so-called friend. How can people be rich and not have the decency to give the person feeding you and your family a freaking room. And I really had to constrain myself from usin…

In some parts of the world a lot of people make do with a spot on the floor. I stayed at a guest house in India recently and the staff all slept on the roof or in the kitchen. Places are poor.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#146

Post by naiveattack »

ArchReaper wrote: post #139
naiveattack wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I invite you to point out a flaw in my observations. Sometimes it's good to be able to rationality ground your morality instead of merely feeling it. Guess which one will hold up when actually challenged in real life.

Your whole post is disingenuous and full of logical fallacies.[1] >Take a homeless person and let them sleep in your kitchen in exchange for mowing your lawn -> moral hero. This is a flawed thesis if you're still trying to argue w.r.t. lordnacho's post. >Take a homeless person First off, there's no reason to believe that that person was or was not homeless prior to the situation. This is called an "Argument from igno…

My comment was not an argument/direct analogy to the parent.

They were a series of observations designed to illustrate a particular/contrasting point. Or rather an attempt to show where the boundaries lie in the grey of such thought.

Read the reply again without assuming the parents context. Do you agree with the observations presented?

Re: My Family’s Slave

#147

Post by retube »

bflesch wrote: post #26
lordnacho wrote: post #20

I had a terrible "Billy" moment a few years ago. I was travelling and a friend said I could use her house, because it was empty. This was perfect for me, since I had a wife and kid. It turns out there was a housekeeper. She did everything for us, made us feel very comfortable, cooked, served, helped with the kid, etc. Then one day I found out she didn't have her own room, despite the place being a multi storey mansio…

So you're trying to tell us that your feeling of uncomfortness is the only thing stopping you from growing a spine and standing up for such an inhumane treatment, that apart from you nobody else can witness? Have some decency and confront your so-called friend. How can people be rich and not have the decency to give the person feeding you and your family a freaking room. And I really had to constrain myself from usin…

In some parts of the world a lot of people make do with a spot on the floor. I stayed at a guest house in India recently and the staff all slept on the roof or in the kitchen. Some places in the world are poor. Better that than on the street.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#148

Post by MrLeap »

MrZongle2 wrote: post #138
MrLeap wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is no question in my mind that I would confront anyone I knew engaging in the situation you're describing. Among my circles, injustices always seem to be a third person. Mostly bosses. Boss doesn't give you a day off despite a month of notice. Boss dicks you around on hours or a promised promotion. The people I consider friends are folks I can talk to about morality. I've grown as a person based on the critical…

I wish I could upvote you more. When this story hit HN earlier today, I was taken aback by how so many of the responses basically were of the hand-clasping, oh-what-a-touching-story nature. This is fucking slavery . There is nothing to admire. Treating slaves-in-all-but-name nicer after the fact does not make it any less repellent. One human being owned another, and had final say regarding all aspects of their lives.…

Phew thanks for making yourself known. This could be bias, but the blob of people on the internet seems to have become a lot more casually sociopathic over the last 15 years. Sure back when folks used to troll for laughs, but it always seemed like a mask to get a rise out of people.

I've only noticed people recently openly talking convincingly and casually about weird shit like this.

Either A) The world has always been a much worse place than I realized B) Society is morally decaying C) Kids these days have perfected some artisan grade, gluten free, premium master craft trolling.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#149

Post by mgkimsal »

logfromblammo wrote: post #122
lordnacho wrote: post #20

I had a terrible "Billy" moment a few years ago. I was travelling and a friend said I could use her house, because it was empty. This was perfect for me, since I had a wife and kid. It turns out there was a housekeeper. She did everything for us, made us feel very comfortable, cooked, served, helped with the kid, etc. Then one day I found out she didn't have her own room, despite the place being a multi storey mansio…

This is why US government employees and employees of contractors get mandatory training in how to recognize human trafficking. In this situation, at the very minimum, you need to ask "Do you feel your employer treats you fairly? I will keep your answer confidential." If the answer is "yes", then your moral obligation is satisfied. If the answer is "no", you may have to dig down through "uncomfortable situation," pote…

If you discuss the answer with anyone... you've not kept the answer confidential.

Re: My Family’s Slave

#150

Post by mycatislenin »

Symbiote wrote: post #80
BrandoElFollito wrote: post #50

I watched a few years ago a French movie about a Parisian family owning a quasi-slave, a young woman from (IIRC) Africa. The son of the family finally sent an anonymous mail to an organization which had it taken care of. The interesting character was the grandmother who was vehemently supporting her son (the father of the boy who sent an email) until she realized how the slave-girl was treated. The movie was average…

What's the name of the film?

Possibly "L'esclavage moderne de Fatou"
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