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Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

nytimes.com

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Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#61

Post by rdiddly »

noobermin wrote: post #51
tsm wrote: post #5

Facebook doesn't make me miserable because I feel like I'm having less fun and being less glamorous than the friends on my news feed—it makes me miserable because it's an addicting timewaster with minimal utility and I'd much rather be [reading a book, playing music, writing software, hanging out with friends IRL, working on a project, sleeping, watching TV…]

But how much of this is really Facebook's fault? How wouldn't you before be, say, watching TV or listening to radio soaps in the pre-internet era instead of doing the "higher mind" things you list you'd rather be doing?

Not sure anybody need care whose "fault" it is; the most empowering viewpoint is to assume it's always your own. (Which optimistically implies that you can change it, since you're the one doing it.) But as for Facebook being a similar timesuck to TV or radio back in the day, it definitely is. The parallels are many, not least of which are similar ubiquity, similar motivations (to show you advertising), and similar gimmicks to keep your attention even when you might otherwise - god forbid - get the idea to go do something else.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#62

Post by rublev »

AlexMuir wrote: post #3

I'm not sure where I read this suggestion, but a couple of months ago I unfollowed everyone on FB. Now my newsfeed is basically empty - and my Facebook experience is much improved. I highly recommend it.

I did that before as well. Then Facebook re-followed most of my list. I then manually unfollowed them again, and slowly every day posts pop up and people get re-followed. Fuck Facebook.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#63

Post by kahoon »

spacelizard wrote: post #12
tsm wrote: post #5

Facebook doesn't make me miserable because I feel like I'm having less fun and being less glamorous than the friends on my news feed—it makes me miserable because it's an addicting timewaster with minimal utility and I'd much rather be [reading a book, playing music, writing software, hanging out with friends IRL, working on a project, sleeping, watching TV…]

I've noticed Facebook seems to be really good at spamming me with useless notifications, it even somehow manages to do it after I've unfriended 90% of the people that I am not close friends with and blocked most notification types. Yeah I could prune my friends list even further and only check it passively, but then all I'm stuck with is basically an incredibly bloated email/chat service that is loaded with ads. Then…

Can't you just disable notifications from the Facebook app? Android allows it, and I reckon iOS does too. I found this to be a nice solution to deal with obnoxious apps because you remove the annoyance but can still use them should the need arise.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#64

Post by aethos »

Animats wrote: post #37

That's more like Instagram than Facebook.[1] There are paid "Facebook influencers" [2] but it doesn't seem to be as big a thing as on Instagram. Remember, sharing is spamming. [1] https://www.theguardian.com/money/2017/may/05/earn-a-living-... [2] https://socialix.com/facebook-influencers

Can you expand more on the _sharing is spamming_ ?

Seems like a point with some depth to it.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#65

Post by nether »

I don't even look at my feed for this reason. I think it kind of offends people though when I meet them and had no idea they went to Yosemite the past weekend. So now before I hang out with someone, I brush up on their feed real quick.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#66

Post by subpixel »

kstenerud wrote: post #16

It's interesting how the vast majority of responses to this post are from people who have either left facebook entirely, or severely crippled it. Are the majority of HN folks off facebook, or is it just the vocal ones?

I quit FB because I wasn't comfortable with the company knowing as much about my network and online behavior as they do about all of their users. I'd suppose the more technical you are, the more this is likely to bother you, but that might be my own confirmation bias.

The peace of mind that came with stepping away from the constant barrage of useless information that I couldn't ignore or make go away to b/c it came from 'friends' was an added bonus.

Now several years later I created a FB account using a false last name and use it only for real-world groups I belong to that rely on FB groups/events features (athletic groups, my CSA, etc). My profile explains that "I only use FB for groups. But we can be friends in real life."

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#67

Post by kristianc »

rocqua wrote: post #44
aleyan wrote: post #32

Perhaps we should take NYTimes advice a step further and stop letting them make us miserable either. There is nothing actionable in the news; next to no utility. News is simply a time sink that depress your spirit. Whenever I think of reading "legitimate" news like the NYTimes, I am reminded of this quote from a Soviet novel by Bulgakov. In it a doctor gives advice: If you care about your digestion, my advice is [sic…

There is a social advantage to being able to speak about current events. There is also a part of the news that a well-informed citizen should know about. There are things everyone can do about injustice that require us to know injustice took place. Sadly, the above part of the news isn't the focus off modern news media. The sensationalist spin doesn't help much either. What I'm trying to say is that news, in and of i…

Most news doesn't actually inform us in any meaningful way though.

Here in the U.K. the last three weeks have been endless repetition of media managed slogans and photo opportunities.

There are very real injustices happening in the world - in Syria and in Chechnya for instance - but they're routinely ignored unless you really go looking for them.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#68

Post by drvdevd »

geppeto wrote: post #6

Outside of Silicon Valley, people are marginally bewildered when you tell them you don't have Facebook. Inside Silicon Valley you'll quite often run into someone that works at Facebook and they'll switch to a psych analysis algorithm to understand how their service is not catering to you, while trying to mask their offense. It must be good because of the daily active user number! Yeah well Tobacco has a high DAU too.

Gosh I'd love to talk to this psychoanalyst. I can say as a non-adopter of Facebook (and before that MySpace) from the beginning (despite some immense social pressure) it has simply always been about "privacy" and the desire to stay out of touch.

Not that I'm actually very great at staying private online. It started as avoidance of other people and now I avoid it simply because it's just another data silo to me. I already give Google my life story, why add Facebook?

So. How can Facebook give me what I most want now from the platform? The ability to both stay in touch and stay invisible -- seems improbable.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#69

Post by ArtDev »

I uninstalled the apps (db/messenger) and only visit it about once per week. I logout after I visit.

Checking it takes about 5 minutes. There are usually 10 posts from friends at the top.

The rest of it is total garbage. Petitions, fake news, etc.

I noticed that if I visit Facebook more than 5 minutes per week, I will feel miserable.

95% of my fb feed is designed to make me upset. I just don't need all of that negativity.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#70

Post by AznHisoka »

noobermin wrote: post #51
tsm wrote: post #5

Facebook doesn't make me miserable because I feel like I'm having less fun and being less glamorous than the friends on my news feed—it makes me miserable because it's an addicting timewaster with minimal utility and I'd much rather be [reading a book, playing music, writing software, hanging out with friends IRL, working on a project, sleeping, watching TV…]

But how much of this is really Facebook's fault? How wouldn't you before be, say, watching TV or listening to radio soaps in the pre-internet era instead of doing the "higher mind" things you list you'd rather be doing?

It doesn't matter whose fault it is. It isnt the chocolate chip cookies' or ice cream's fault people are fat but that doesn't mean we should treat them like best friends and keep them in the fridge
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