Live data from Hacker News

Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

sfchronicle.com

201–210 of 317 posts

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#201
post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Man I so relate to this right now. Is there anyway I can email you? I really want to know how to overcome this.

I'm going through something similar right now. We could open a Telegram support group :)

A Signal group perhaps? Think of the children!

(Telegram isn't secure and choosing stickers over security will yield more stickers and less security.)

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#202

I truly feel awful for the family, but to play devil's advocate: What could you do if you were in Uber's position to prevent something like this? And no cop-out answers like "Don't make an environment that pressures people" (everyone has deadlines, pressure is ubiquitous). What, specifically, would you do tomorrow to prevent this in the future if you were the CEO of Uber?

> would you do tomorrow to prevent this in the future if you were the CEO of Uber?

Resign, and recommend someone in my stead who is capable of managing a more compassionate organization into existence. Those exist - and conversely, the apparent shit-show that is Uber is driven from the top-down.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#203
In Japan they have a name for this.. karōjisatsu.. It literally means suicide from work. I wrote about this about two years ago below. Our industry (IT) could be worse than others due to the different kind of stress it creates. Here's some work/research I have done on this.

http://itrevolution.com/karojisatsu/

http://itrevolution.com/karojisatsu-in-plain-english-burnout...

We have to band together and do something about this plague...

@botchagalupe

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#204

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I had a Pavlovian response to the sound of email arriving on my phone, to the point where it would be in my nightmares. I went through a rough period last summer where a project I was involved in was a complete disaster. I basically spent 24x7 terrified that a new "emergency" was going to roll in on my phone via email with a stakeholder telling me how this new issue was ruining their life and how disappointed they…

Work emails will never trigger a notification. If there's a genuine emergency, I can be reached over the phone

I handle everything through email for one reason, it's self documenting. My current job I don't have to worry, but i've worked jobs where this practice saved my butt a few times.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#206
post #25

This is not unique to Uber. I have worked in toxic environments that depleted and debilitated me to the point that, in two cases, I was psychologically completely incapable of even thinking about finding work for three months after being laid off from one, and quitting the other. It doesn't even take abusive bosses who don't like you, although that just makes it far worse. It simply takes being treated like a robotic…

Well said. I've worked at 3 start-ups and at all of them I've worked long, grueling hours with the most recent one I was doing at least 65 hours a week (typically longer especially with a 3+ hour commute). I became severely burned out to the point where I didn't want to look for work or do much of anything. I was depressed and had severe anxiety. I went to the hospital with an anxiety attack so strong that I literall…

I totally relate. I'll never forget my first anxiety attack, what makes it so bad is that you don't know what's going on, and that only makes your anxiety worse. First my mouth went numb and then it started spreading down to my chest and right arm, I thought for sure I was having a heart attack. I thought anxiety attacks were just freaking out of something in particular. I was relatively relaxed when it first hit me.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#207
This widow seems to be the same woman who was charged with leaving her kids in a hot car. The children were later released to the father.

http://www.cbs46.com/story/19109920/police-mother-arrested-f...

Makes one wonder if Joseph's family life wasn't exactly conducive to stability.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would agree with you if the cost was high. Running a suicide prevention hotline strikes me as a low cost preventative measure, moreso if you get actuarial/gruesome and take into account someone's dollar value as a human being (mid to high six figures for most people).

The real cost of doing something because something must be done is the false sense of satisfaction. That cost is potentially very high in this case.

And so is the potential cost of not doing anything, so what's your point?

You seem to conjecture that refering someone to a hotline raises the chance of that person commiting suicide, while AFAIK all the evidence points towards suicide hotlines being effective at reducing stress and suicidality.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#209

This was so difficult for me to read. I have struggled with extreme anxiety and chronic depression and brushed up against the thought of there being no way forward or out but suicide. During the closest calls, I was making the most I ever had, living in a nice house, etc. It didn't really matter though. I felt a tightness in my chest and a boiling kettle of acid in my stomach from the second I woke up until the secon…

> I had a Pavlovian response to the sound of email arriving on my phone, to the point where it would be in my nightmares. I went through a rough period last summer where a project I was involved in was a complete disaster. I basically spent 24x7 terrified that a new "emergency" was going to roll in on my phone via email with a stakeholder telling me how this new issue was ruining their life and how disappointed they…

> I view these as modern-day human "shock collars" where the shock collar beneficiary is actually not you ...

Heh. I grew up in the days before mobile phones. A friend observed, when I mentioned my shiny new pager indicating a certain level of Importance in the workforce, that these devices made both parties happy.

The carrier felt smug about being so important they were paid - whatever it was, some small number of $'s a day - to be on call.

The person on the other end of the equation had eager and proficient technical resources at their beck and call 24x7 ... for some small number of $'s a day.

And some people say that the tech industry keeps going in circles.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#210
post #25

This is not unique to Uber. I have worked in toxic environments that depleted and debilitated me to the point that, in two cases, I was psychologically completely incapable of even thinking about finding work for three months after being laid off from one, and quitting the other. It doesn't even take abusive bosses who don't like you, although that just makes it far worse. It simply takes being treated like a robotic…

Contract I was on was hard. Never felt anything like that pressure and very much about setting you up to fail. In fact I think it was a case that the CTO specifically set you up to fail and try and put the blame on you suggesting you work for free to pull it up to standard. He was very keen on making you take 'ownership' and, hence by inference, the financial risk, despite constantly changing requirements.

A number of contractors working there stated how they'd never experienced anything like it. It was phenomenally toxic.

Arriving home after my last day, I hugged my daughter and broke down in tears. The relief was unbelievable.

Post reply on HN