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Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

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Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not sure what you're getting at there.

That people can abandon their life instead of committing suicide. But it does not matter, the message was downvoted for lack of clarity, and is too general to be useful.

And those are valid criticisms in this case. There's value in what you said at the top of this reply tree. It deserves to be expressed with more care and clarity next time than were invested this time.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#152

Moderators: This thread has essentially disappeared, along with a great deal of very useful comments, because there are apparently duplicates of it. Never mind that this has more comments than the others. Instead of being near the top of HN, where I believe it deserves to be, it is gone. This is unwarranted, and merits serious consideration of merging the so-called dupe threads. Failure to do this will surely look ra…

If you don't want HN's poorly designed algorithms or dang/sbct's whims to control your discussions/what you see on HN, I strongly encourage you to use http://hckrnews.com/, where posts don't get disappeared.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#153
post #138

What I have found out over the years is that having roughly 4-6 months worth of living expenses in the bank (unblocked and accessible within 24 hours) alleviates stress. Figure out how many months worth of savings makes you feel comfortable, and have an 'oh shit' budget figured out for times of willing/unwilling unemployment. For example, I can cut my spendings by 40% in case of unemployment simply by cutting luxury…

Doesn't help when you have notice period of 2 months

I bet you can find enough enjoyment in 0 overtime, long lunch breaks with co-workers, and those articles gathering dust on your reading list to entertain yourself for those 2 months. Not that you shouldn't do work, far from that, but for most people once they quit, emotional attachment to work ceases to exist.

So cut some slack, put in the hours contractually necessary, but don't break your neck being at work 9AM sharp, meeting arbitrary deadlines set by management, or attending the meetings you could have just set to "tentative, but I'll probably pass, thanks".

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If someone is in the state of mind of wanting to take their own life, will they desire to call to talk to a stranger on a hotline? "In spite of their popularity and attractiveness, so far there is no conclusive evidence on the effectiveness of suicide prevention hot lines and crise centres" (2004) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1414695/

Maybe, maybe not. Regardless, we should still strive to give that person alternatives. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle". -- Plato Edit: @aaron695: that is what I was trying to communicate

Why do we, in general, accept any personal decision that does not interfere with other people, but refuse to accept the ultimate decision a person can make in regards to his live?

I'm not suicidal at the moment and feel that my life has some purpose - but why would I assume that a person who is suicidal knows less about his own life than I do?

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#155
post #25

This is not unique to Uber. I have worked in toxic environments that depleted and debilitated me to the point that, in two cases, I was psychologically completely incapable of even thinking about finding work for three months after being laid off from one, and quitting the other. It doesn't even take abusive bosses who don't like you, although that just makes it far worse. It simply takes being treated like a robotic…

I keep reading stories like these on HN, yet I don't know a single person who has experienced anything even remotely close to this. I don't live in the Bay Area. Are SV startups, in general, really this badly managed? If I add up all anecdata from reading HN comments about toxic work environments, I get the impression that 50% of the Valley is run like this. I have a hard time comprehending how this can happen.

This isn't unique to startups, let alone SV startups. I know from personal experience that work environments like this exist in finance and advertising, too.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe, maybe not. Regardless, we should still strive to give that person alternatives. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle". -- Plato Edit: @aaron695: that is what I was trying to communicate

Why do we, in general, accept any personal decision that does not interfere with other people, but refuse to accept the ultimate decision a person can make in regards to his live? I'm not suicidal at the moment and feel that my life has some purpose - but why would I assume that a person who is suicidal knows less about his own life than I do?

The decision to commit suicide is rarely made in a rational state of mind. Unlike most decisions, however, this one is permanent.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#159

Man, this really hit home. That guy's life could have been mine. I had this almost this same experience 2 years ago (we were at the job for the same length of time even, five months), and it led to a long period of depression for me. I didn't kill myself, but I have to tell you, I could see how someone could. In my circumstance I interviewed as a Senior Engineer, and got offered a Lead engineer position because appar…

Thanks for sharing your story. Unbelievable how they treated you. Which company was it?

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#160
post #58

This was so difficult for me to read. I have struggled with extreme anxiety and chronic depression and brushed up against the thought of there being no way forward or out but suicide. During the closest calls, I was making the most I ever had, living in a nice house, etc. It didn't really matter though. I felt a tightness in my chest and a boiling kettle of acid in my stomach from the second I woke up until the secon…

Man I so relate to this right now. Is there anyway I can email you? I really want to know how to overcome this.

I'm going through something similar right now. We could open a Telegram support group :)
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