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How to Become Well-Connected

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Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#61

Post by mindcrime »

hueving wrote: post #47
mindcrime wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The best way to make an impression on someone is to ask questions about them until you find some Yes, but you have to be careful or you can make the person feel like they are being interrogated. Maybe not quite to the level of shining a bright light in their face and asking "where were you at 8:00pm on the night of January 23rd", but still, an endless stream of questions - done poorly - can make people feel uncomfort…

These examples are so lame because they are both contrived. If someone is going to answer "yes/no" to you trying to make a conversation asking if they like math, they could easily shut down the other path as well. For example: You: "So, where did you go to school?" Them: "Berkeley" You: "Nice. Why did you pick Berkeley?" Them: "It has a good academic reputation." You: "A good academic reputation for what?" Them: "CS…

Sure, but the point is that some kinds of questions are more likely to yield interesting conversations than others. Nothing is guaranteed, of course.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#62

Post by AndrewKemendo »

drvdevd wrote: post #45
AndrewKemendo wrote: post #34

This whole thing has a huge assumption behind it: That you're someone worth being connected to. His distinction between the Hunted and the Hunters is great, but 99% of people don't fall into the "Hunted" category unless they are doing something exceptional - and even those doing something exceptional aren't typically hunted. So while I think this is a good list, and it's pretty bog standard Carnegie/How to read peopl…

I think there is also of course the distinction of the known VS unknown person doing something worth connecting to. Lots of people who are doing things that probably are not worth much consideration are simply good at selling themselves as something greater and vice versa. So if you believe you are doing something worth connecting to, you better be ready to sell yourself as well. Or risk drowning in the noise. FULL D…

That's the point here.

There are a lot of people out there applying these principals who don't really do shit, but by god they are "well connected." You see them at all these entrepreneur events and all they do is waste everyone's time with their bullshit. In the end it doesn't matter how well connected they are because they have no vector and no capabilities. These are the guys who consistently tell you how they are incidentally connected to someone who has actually done something - why? because that's all they know how to do. Worthless.

On the flip side there are the brilliant people out there who have done something notable but haven't made anything of it or made any connections because they see the guy from the first paragraph and recoil in horror. That's who I think this article is probably for. Not sure how to reach those folks practically though.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#63

Post by SomeStupidPoint »

hueving wrote: post #50
SomeStupidPoint wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

...Why? I'm actually genuinely curious why you feel that way, assuming the person is sincere.

If you care about climate change, having protects in one of the biggest echo chambers in the US university system is about the least effective thing you can do. It's also completely unrelated to the quality of education you will get so it's stupid to tie your school selection to that. It's like choosing a campus based on one with the most red-colored buildings.

Two points:

1. I parsed the statement slightly differently, in that having a campus full of activism was important, not specifically climate change.

2. Activism requires learning and networking, so it makes sense that if you want to learn that skill and form a network fresh out of high school, you would go somewhere there's an established network to join and many mentors to be found. It's much more like choosing a school because their alumni organization has connections you're interested in or has business ties to an industry you want to get in to or has a famous athletics program or any of the not-strictly-academic reasons that make sense from a career development perspective.

If the person seriously wants to be an activist, even in a non-professional capacity, it makes sense to go somewhere they develop that part of you (even if they don't have the best academics).

It's nothing like choosing one based on red building count.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#64

Post by kyleschiller »

gh1 wrote: post #58

I wanted to ask an open ended question : how important do you think it is to be well-connected? I am sure if someone spent a lot of time going to plenty of networking events and put serious effort into talking with people, then they could grow their network pretty fast. But every minute spent in networking is a minute not spent in doing something else. So how do you set your priorities?

It really depends on what you want to accomplish, if you're an engineer, love your job and would be happy doing it for the next 4 years, there's probably not too much to gain. If you're an investor, your network is everything.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#65

Post by BatFastard »

ryandrake wrote: post #37

I consider myself reasonably outgoing, but I've always viewed "networking" as kind of slimy and insincere. At a fundamental level, population A has little to offer / little power and population B has a lot, and networking is the set of personal interactions that population A employs in order to have a shot at interacting/transacting with population B. The "hunter/hunted" relationship mentioned in this article is a ke…

His whole point is the only "bad" networking has no sincerity. In "Good" networking you have to sincerely want to make a real connection to the other person. Its not just a does this person help me, its a how can I help this person.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#67

Post by gh1 »

kyleschiller wrote: post #64
gh1 wrote: post #58

I wanted to ask an open ended question : how important do you think it is to be well-connected? I am sure if someone spent a lot of time going to plenty of networking events and put serious effort into talking with people, then they could grow their network pretty fast. But every minute spent in networking is a minute not spent in doing something else. So how do you set your priorities?

It really depends on what you want to accomplish, if you're an engineer, love your job and would be happy doing it for the next 4 years, there's probably not too much to gain. If you're an investor, your network is everything.

Yes, agreed. But I guess an engineer would want to make career progress too, right? Isn't it smart to be networked to ensure that you are at the forefront of opportunity?

As an aside, I was in the academia previously and it seems that networking is highly correlated with success there.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#68

Post by cookiecaper »

AndrewKemendo wrote: post #57
maccard wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This whole thing has a huge assumption behind it: That you're someone worth being connected to. Then make yourself worth being connected to. It doesn't have to be in a "the person who does X" way. It can be as simple as the person people want to take a coffee break with, or the person you want to go for beers with, or the person you ask to help when you move!

It doesn't have to be in a "the person who does X" way. I'd disagree with this. Otherwise what good are you if you aren't "the person who does X?" Is there someone out there who thousands of people explicitly only want to take a coffee break with? I mean I want to have a coffee break with a lot of people, but not cause they are good coffee drinkers, but because they have made significant progress in some thing I care…

You don't need to become famous. People strongly value personal affectations over professional skill. Failure to acknowledge this is simply wishful thinking.

Consider that most of your indirect colleagues are not well-versed enough to know whether you're doing your job well or not in the first place.

Why are so many clowns in positions with high rank, and so many better-qualified people are further down the totem pole? Because people don't respond naturally to qualifications. They respond to getting their personal interests and desires satisfied.

If you present a credible professional front and you are well-liked, that's all that matters, and you will be well-connected and rewarded well outside of any rational proportion.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#69

Post by coldtea »

SomeStupidPoint wrote: post #44
coldtea wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Them: "Activism is really important to me, especially around climate change. I wouldn't have gone to a school that didn't have that aspect." Off topic, but this is so cringe-worthy...

...Why? I'm actually genuinely curious why you feel that way, assuming the person is sincere.

For one, because where you go to college and whether the school has some student level "activism" about climate change has zero (or even negative) impact on actual climate change.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#70

Post by sbierwagen »

kordless wrote: post #39

> How to Become Well-Connected > “If you find yourself keeping score in your professional relationships, you’re on the wrong track.” Being "well connected" is an objective here, given it's lead by "how to". That intent leads to keeping score, so it's less than obvious how to resolve becoming well connected without keeping score. Not giving a shit about what others think is the SECOND step to the enlightenment. The FI…

  I no longer give a shit what anyone thinks 
  about what I say
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