Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#461

Post by webmaven » Thu, Mar 09, 2017, 1:56 AM UTC

randlet wrote: post #265

elcapitan wrote: post #225

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The reality of many people who work from home is that this is the case anyway - the children are around and make some noise, because they live. Making this transparent and show who the kid is I think makes it actually easier for the other people in the call to feel empathy. If that is unprofessional, then so is working from home, I guess.

I agree they make some noise, but having them in your lap during a conference call is over the line imo. If you have kids in the house then you need an office with a door. I've worked from home for 3 years now with 2 kids aged 0-5 and they understand that when the door is closed, Dad is at work and they don't come in.

> having them in your lap during a conference call is over the line imo.

You do understand that sometimes the alternative to the kid sitting quietly in their parent's lap is the kid screaming their head off on the other side of the home office door, right?

Personally, I'll take the kid sitting in the parent's lap as being the lesser by far of two annoyances, thanks.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#462

Post by webmaven » Thu, Mar 09, 2017, 2:03 AM UTC

iDemonix wrote: post #191

krisgenre wrote: post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree it might be unprofessional but I would totally love to work with a team that doesn't find this annoying.

On the flip side I totally love working in a team that does find this annoying.

Hah, my first LOL this week. Good for you!

Bonus points if you ever leave the webcam on while changing a diaper or breast feeding. :-D

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#463

Post by sriku » Thu, Mar 09, 2017, 2:14 AM UTC

Dad of two here.

Good question. What I'm reading in your question that many replies are missing out on is that your question is less about the actual responsibilities, which I see you happy to take up. It is about what to do with your mind which, now when not at work, can only think about your kids. Also there is this feeling that you should put your kids first and above yourself.

If that is the case, focusing inward helps. If you're at a place or time where your kids are not a matter - they might be safe and sound asleep, you may be on a work trip, you may be up a bit early on a day, whatever; at that time, you can tell yourself that it is OK to focus on your expansion.

I also found the time constraint changing what leveling up means to me - instead of picking up that new framework or tool, going deeper into whatever I want to.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#464

Post by shiven » Thu, Mar 09, 2017, 2:15 AM UTC

foo101 wrote: post #458

shiven wrote: post #455

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But please don't try to convince people its all flowers and unicorns. Oh my! No way! More like tantrums, stinky diapers, strongly curtailed freedoms, opportunity costs and grey hair and/or hair loss. But I can count at least 12 other "irreversible" life choices a person could make that will lead to more or less similar results. So, there's that. Each person needs to make this decision for themselves, but once you do,…

Can you provide us a list of those 12 other irreversible life choices that you can count? I am genuinely cuious to know what other such life choices are there that I need to be careful about.

"Irreversible" life choices, in no particular order:

* Getting convicted for an offense with "mandatory minimum" jail time - e.g. dealing drugs to minors.

* Driving drunk, crashing and getting fully paralyzed - 'coz "driving drunk" is a choice.

* Having unprotected sex and living with HIV - for the rest of your days.

* Getting college/higher education, on a student loan, in a field that does not/will not pay at a high enough rate to payback the loan - good luck discharging that.

* Doing any high-risk physical activity with a >50% chance of serious bodily harm/injury. (Death is OK, by this metric!)

... logically refute all of the above and I'll give you the remaining 7 :P

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#465

Post by webmaven » Thu, Mar 09, 2017, 2:16 AM UTC

WhiteSource1 wrote: post #237

quantumhobbit wrote: post #230

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had a video call interview recently and my interviewer was being attacked by his new puppy during the call. Although distracting it made me want to work there.

The comparison between kids & pets is amusing. So many workplaces are pet-friendly (despite people having allergies or phobias) but try bringing your toddler to the office.

Oh, there is no freaking comparison. Pets won't swipe stuff off your desk, practice their infinite regression of "why" on you, yank your pony tail, hand you stuff they swiped from another desk, knock over your empty-soda-can pyramid, try to eat a nerf dart, or demand your attention so they can explain to you how they are super-special and going to heaven because Jesus loves them.

No, I am not kidding or making up any of the above, though it wasn't all the same kid, nor all the same day (or even the same workplace), and admittedly I have no phobias or allergies.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#466

Post by randlet » Thu, Mar 09, 2017, 2:25 AM UTC

webmaven wrote: post #461

randlet wrote: post #265

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree they make some noise, but having them in your lap during a conference call is over the line imo. If you have kids in the house then you need an office with a door. I've worked from home for 3 years now with 2 kids aged 0-5 and they understand that when the door is closed, Dad is at work and they don't come in.

> having them in your lap during a conference call is over the line imo. You do understand that sometimes the alternative to the kid sitting quietly in their parent's lap is the kid screaming their head off on the other side of the home office door, right? Personally, I'll take the kid sitting in the parent's lap as being the lesser by far of two annoyances, thanks.

"screaming their head off on the other side of the home office door"

Whoever is looking after the child should not be allowing them to sit outside the office door and scream! If you're home alone with a kid, you shouldn't be taking conference calls (except under emergency situations e.g. sick kid + critical call).

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#467

Post by johnwheeler » Thu, Mar 09, 2017, 2:27 AM UTC

webmaven wrote: post #456

johnwheeler wrote: post #383

I'm 38 with three kids: 2 year old twins and a 5 year old. During that time, I've done a lot on my own, and I feel I've had more than enough time to accomplish more. I've taught myself Swift and Cocoa: https://github.com/johnwheeler/CocoaProgramming released open source frameworks: https://github.com/johnwheeler/flask-ask https://github.com/johnwheeler/flask-live-starter and have had plenty of time to pursue interest…

What is your perspective on having kids a bit later in life than most?

I think about that a lot. I don't know if the events in my life would have unfolded the same, but all things equal, I would've had them earlier just so their mom and I would be in their lives 10-15 years longer. Also, just pushing 40 health starts becoming a real issue vs. thirty, so that can be a bit of a stressor, but I try to manage with diet, exercise.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#468

Post by webmaven » Thu, Mar 09, 2017, 2:28 AM UTC

daxfohl wrote: post #267

jstewartmobile wrote: post #96

One of the many great things about children, if you're not a total heartless bastard of course, is that having them really sharpens your mind as to what's important and what's not. Most of these things the HN crowd obsesses over are shit, and the things that replace those things will also be shit, and the thing you make with those things--even if it makes you fabulously wealthy--will also be shit, and if you don't be…

On that bell curve of technology, where the far left is "bleeding edge" and the far right is "obsolete", you'll move a bit toward the right. But if you're already bleeding edge, then you'll just move toward "new and productive". So really you'll probably end up being more valuable as an engineer. "Bleeding edge" is really more about playing than about getting stuff done anyway.

> "Bleeding edge" is really more about playing than about getting stuff done anyway.

Well, yes, but playing around with the bleeding edge now means that you get to legitimately claim "x years experience" when it suddenly becomes "new and productive".

Not that I actually like that particular dynamic, or the recruiters who make it a useful strategy.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#469

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Mar 09, 2017, 2:34 AM UTC

johnwheeler wrote: post #467

webmaven wrote: post #456

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is your perspective on having kids a bit later in life than most?

I think about that a lot. I don't know if the events in my life would have unfolded the same, but all things equal, I would've had them earlier just so their mom and I would be in their lives 10-15 years longer. Also, just pushing 40 health starts becoming a real issue vs. thirty, so that can be a bit of a stressor, but I try to manage with diet, exercise.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#470

Post by xtrimsky1234 » Thu, Mar 09, 2017, 2:42 AM UTC

I'm a parent of two small daughters. Now I'm still able to program once or twice a week for maybe 30 minutes.

But I definitely don't have time to do one commit a day :(.

Back in college or highschool, I used to pull a full weekend worth of programming, meaning starting saturday at 8am, finishing sunday at 10pm. I was able to build very cool projects in just a weekend. Now if I estimate maybe the 1 hour I have per week, the same project just takes me months...

I still do cool projects, VR video games, cool websites. It's just taking a lot of time. This project for example took me 4 years (lol): http://traveler208.com/

But you know what, looking back at what I have of my life, I cherish much more the time I spent with the family at the lake, or the time I spent with my wife. The time where I programmed a platform that used only free servers all over the internet to combine a 7TB bandwidth in a month for a P2P service was cool, but it's not as good.