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Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

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Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#391

Post by YZF »

pm90 wrote: post #374
shiven wrote: post #365

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nailed it. Perspective is what it's about. Your kids won't be the same in a few years, neither will you and nor the world. Take care of your health while doing all that you do and you'll get back to doing the other things that you miss doing or would love to do. It won't kill you, or your career, if you miss out on a shitty framework or two.

> It won't kill you, or your career, if you miss out on a shitty framework or two. How about: if you miss on most weekends, music festivals, backpacking through different countries, working whenever you want, getting a drink whenever you want....and that is only your personal freedoms. Add to that all the responsibilities that comes with parenting. I'm not saying its not a good idea to be a parent; simply that its no…

When my older daughter was 7 and my younger daughter was 3 months old we went on a 2.5 month camping trip to Australia. This is more than what me and many other people have done with no kids. We've certainly taken the kids to music festivals as well and have gone on short backpacking trips (not that we couldn't do long ones if we wanted).

A lot of the limitations you're describing are self imposed.

Life tends to have responsibilities whether you have kids or not.

Having kids is a life changing experience for sure but you can definitely "skill up" and do a lot of other things after you've had kids. Not a problem.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#392

Post by fiatjaf »

thatwebdude wrote: post #306
fiatjaf wrote: post #261

The solution I see parents of all kinds using is to dump your kid into a school.

"dump" is such a wrong word. But okay, I'll bite. When my first child was born, I had the "pleasure" of staying home with her most of the day, while I got to learn programming. Fast forward a few years and boom! Mom and I have totally immersive careers requiring 8+ hours a day from us. (Every weekday, even! Sometimes more!). In fact, mom is just as much of the breadwinner as I am (more even), so who's gonna watch the…

Well, if you cared enough to look for an experience you thought would be good for your kids then you don't fit in what I was talking about.

I probably don't agree with you on everything, but you seen to care about what your children are doing when they're not with you, what doesn't happen with most parents I know.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#393

Post by Joeri »

yawz wrote: post #364

(I've a 6 year-old son, and I've been in software development for more than 20 years). As a general principle, it's all about "priorities", and "how bad you want it?". Most of us have time for things other than work and family (unless, of course, you're a single parent trying to juggle 2 jobs, etc.) Instead of listening to music during commute, one can listen to professional podcasts or talks (youtube to mp3 is great…

Regarding spending less time on HN: I did a 6 month blackout of HN because I perceived that it was taking too much time that I could spend on side projects. After the 6 months I came to the conclusion that I wasted that time on other things. Turns out that I didn't actually want to be productive, and I just want to waste time because my job and family life requires me to be responsible and productive all day long, and it's nice to be slacking off every now and then. So now I am back on HN to waste time :)

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#394

Post by shostack »

ajford wrote: post #289
nojvek wrote: post #199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having kids sometimes come over while we work is pretty cool. They ask questions about what we're doing at times and we have to ELI5, it's great practice. My desk has a number of puzzles and they have a ton of fun playing with it. Sometimes they draw on the whiteboard or write a quote. A++, would definitely recommend bringing kids a couple of times a year.

The ultimate form of Rubber Duck debugging is trying to explain what you're doing to a 5 year old in real life.

The ultimate reward for good parenting... the kid solves your problem in a way you never even thought about.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#395

Post by noir_lord »

rachelandrew wrote: post #347

My daughter turns 20 this year. I learned Perl as a young, soon to be single, mother. I had no computer science background, I just wanted to learn to do more than the basic HTML I had already taught myself. That learning gave me a career. I've only ever done this with a child to take care of, and I've done it by simply working every possible moment I could, and being organised and focused with my time. However being…

The internet is such a small world, I watched one of your videos last week[1], you are an excellent conference speaker.

[1] https://vimeo.com/133642780

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#396

Post by eanzenberg »

daxfohl wrote: post #311

All the responses here indicate the same "la dee da having kids is so wonderful that you don't even miss the other stuff." Fuck that. I have kids and I totally miss being able to stay up all night working on stuff and exploring new technologies, feeling like the world is going on without me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a passable dad, spend as much time with kids as possible, take them out to libraries and parks and try…

Be honest.. before kids, how many nights did you "stay up working on stuff and exploring new technologies?" My bet is most of your time pre-kids was "wasted" on non-career things. If you were actually spending many nights studying then having kids won't really stop you from learning.

My anecdotal story: Before my kid, I spent roughly 80% of my time outside work "wasting" playing video games, watching youtube, twitch, going out, things like that. The other 20% was spent learning and progressing my skills. Since having a kid, I haven't really touched video games nor really miss them, though I may pick up a switch soon. I tend to spend about the same time, maybe more now, on studying and picking up new skills. What i did find is having a kid helped me sharpen my focus when I do study and helped me put my life in perspective of his.

*I use "wasted" as you used it, but I personally don't think that time was actually wasted.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#397

Post by nscalf »

Just to note, I'm 23 and have no kids.

I've heard comments like this in every possible form before---"Once you get out of college and get a job, you won't have time to...", "Once you're at a startup, you won't have time to...", "Once you start volunteering after work, you won't have time for...".

It's nonsense, you make time for what you think is important. I wake up at 5:30 am to train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, I read when I'm commuting, I work hard at my startup, I teach a few nights a week. I plan things out ahead of time and stick to my plans. I don't have kids, but when I do I'll adjust my schedule to make sure I can keep doing what I think is important (kids Jiu-Jitsu starts at 5 years old).

I never found the argument that you won't have time to be very compelling. People who complain about not having time seem to usually be the person who is caught up on every tv show and wake up at 9 to get to work at 9:30.

I think the easiest way to build these habits is to make a plan and stick to it. You want to go to the gym? Get up before work and go. Period. If you aren't getting up 40 minutes early to exercise, you're not busy, you're lazy. Being a good parent definitely takes up a chunk of time, but you can always find time.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#398

Post by idlewords »

minhajuddin wrote: post #180
caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

I have two kids, and I love the time I spend with them. My life's goal at the moment is "Have a good time with my kids and teach them the good stuff". There is this song "Cat's in the Cradle" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat's_in_the_Cradle which I really love. It shows the pitfalls of living a fast life. Pasting the lyrics here ( http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/harrychapin/catsinthecradle.h... ) : "Cat's In The Crad…

What's next? "Footprints"?

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#399

Post by shostack »

analog31 wrote: post #62

For me, some things are luck. I live 25 minutes from my workplace by bike. The kids get themselves to school. I never worked more than 8 hour days, and have a job where nobody really understands what I do (a unique skill area within the company), so I actually spend work time on maintaining my skills. There may be reasons why communities like mine, and less intense employers, are magnets for people with kids. A huge…

How did you find the mental energy to come up with a new business idea and what was your inspiration/idea?
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