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Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

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Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#351

Post by randlet »

QuantumGravy wrote: post #283
randlet wrote: post #265

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree they make some noise, but having them in your lap during a conference call is over the line imo. If you have kids in the house then you need an office with a door. I've worked from home for 3 years now with 2 kids aged 0-5 and they understand that when the door is closed, Dad is at work and they don't come in.

In my experience, no, kids that young do not understand that. Furthermore, if you have the door closed for the length of a conference call with a child that young, I'd expect there to be another adult (or responsible elder sibling) there in the first place, such that the burden of not bothering you was never on the child. If that can't be arranged, you reschedule the call.

Sorry, I thought it would be obvious that there was another adult looking after the kids. It's not really possible to work from home and look after kids at the same time obviously. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on whether they understand/can follow simple instructions. It's never been a problem with my kids.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#352

Post by NetStrikeForce »

minhajuddin wrote: post #180
caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

I have two kids, and I love the time I spend with them. My life's goal at the moment is "Have a good time with my kids and teach them the good stuff". There is this song "Cat's in the Cradle" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat's_in_the_Cradle which I really love. It shows the pitfalls of living a fast life. Pasting the lyrics here ( http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/harrychapin/catsinthecradle.h... ) : "Cat's In The Crad…

I've got my little boy here sleeping next to me while reading the lyrics and I almost cried.

Thanks for sharing!

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#353

Post by mahebha26 »

rachelandrew wrote: post #347

My daughter turns 20 this year. I learned Perl as a young, soon to be single, mother. I had no computer science background, I just wanted to learn to do more than the basic HTML I had already taught myself. That learning gave me a career. I've only ever done this with a child to take care of, and I've done it by simply working every possible moment I could, and being organised and focused with my time. However being…

Inspiring.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#354

Post by randlet »

NetStrikeForce wrote: post #346
shiven wrote: post #332

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wait, so what happens to the kids, or what are they doing, while your door is closed (and for how long)?

Whatever happens, the message is that it's not as important as what happens on the conference call.

I think you misunderstand. There is obviously another caregiver looking after them. I can't have a 24 hour open door policy with my kids while I'm working from home, just the same as anyone who works in an office.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#355

Post by anowell »

pendu wrote: post #59

I have 2 kids - 4 year old & a 3 month old. I am writing this (comment), as I put my son to sleep. He is almost 4 & wants me to be in the room as he drifts to sleep. So i am sitting beside his bed (after an evening full of quality time with him), checking up on left over work for the day (& hackernews) We just had the second one - who is 3 months old now. So it's still adjusting phase for all of us at home. Sometimes…

This is roughly my story with the added note that I find that Github activity inversely correlates to how much Netflix I watch. I currently average about 3hrs /wk of TV time and probably about 15hrs/wk on personal projects.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#356

Post by pmarreck »

eduren wrote: post #302
pmarreck wrote: post #281

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you think your opinion has any chance of validity on this matter unless you have existed both without and with a kid? This is like people bashing Apple without having ever used an Apple product, or who have merely played with the neighbor's Apple product

Wait, they don't have a right to an opinion? I mean, sure, call them wrong, but to say they're not allowed to express a thought?

Right, incorrect wording. I reworded it.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#357

Post by firewalkwithme »

onion2k wrote: post #321
firewalkwithme wrote: post #308

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are not alone. I find this disrespectful and very irritating. Probably depends on the tempo of your workplace. I am dodging meetings all day long, and when I join one I expect everyone to be prepared and fully focused

I find this disrespectful and very irritating. I am dodging meetings all day long... Hmm.

Yes, the way I wrote that made it look bad. But I get 5 invitations per work day on average. In Outlook I have the option to Accept, Decline or set as Tentative. If I click Accept on 5 meeting invitations in a work day I will not be able to write a single line of code. So 3 out of 5 meetings I Decline with a message describing why. And yes, my organisation is obsessed with meetings, we are working on that

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#358

Post by ceocoder »

My daughter turned 10 momths recently. Last 10-11 months haven't been the same. Instead of reading/being on laptop whenever/wherever we (both of us work) want, now our schedules are more deliberate. My daughter is a good sleeper, she is usually in bed by 7pm, we eat dinner after that and get back to work+light TV watching from 7.30 to 11. Having a good schedule for her helped us a bunch for maintaining sanity. We started sleep training her very early.

7.30-11 is the time where I get most of my learning done - code reviews, feedback to design docs, reading articles on HN, watching lectures. Essentially what I'm saying is - if you can set and maintain a schedule for your child, it will help you find time for your self. Hope this helps.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#360

Post by mkale »

rodolphoarruda wrote: post #208

I'm on PTO today and could notice how distant I am from my kids' daily routine. They see me home, but they are not sure if they can play or even talk to me, even though I'm completely available to them. I work an average of 12h a day, mainly attending project status meetings with clients, which require all my focus, no background noise or distractions, meaning that my wife and I have to keep our kids away from me. I…

It's reversible, just not overnight. Start today and don't give up.
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