IANAL. You are absolutely right in all regards about this (with the exception of your last point which is FUD). However, there is one interesting option which may negate some of these issues. That option would be a Class Action. If enough women and minorities came forward with verifiable claims of systemic discrimination they could band together and reduce the amount of over all problems with the law suit by having increased numbers. Technically, there is no minimum number of plaintiffs to designate a Class Action. But for all practical purposes you need greater than 20. From the fact that #ubersurvivor is turning into a thing, I believe finding the right number of people would be possible. Here is how a class action would change your reasons not to pursue sexual harassment litigation:
* You will have to devote an enormous amount of money, time, energy, health, and your emotional well-being. -- You would not have to pay an enormous amount for this. Though it would take a lot of time you are right
* Your lawyers will take half the settlement, either in up front fees, or as a portion of the bounty. -- This is almost always true but cases cost a whole lot to run and manage.
* You will get to share, and then be brutally cross-examined about all the worst bullshit you had to endure in a courtroom. -- With a class action you have far more people to fight on your side, making cross X a lot less scary, if it ever gets to the trial stage.
* With so much money on the line, you will trigger a smear campaign against you, whose impact will persist long after the trial concludes. -- It is much harder to smear a group.
* You want to program, instead of dealing with legal bullshit. -- You want to program in peace for the rest of your life. A class action sends a message to all companies that they cannot act like this.
* You just want this nightmare to be over, instead of it being brought up over, and over again. -- True and a class action will help to end the nightmare.
* You don't want to have your name permanently associated with "Sues your employers for millions of dollars". Good luck getting a job after that. -- As a class action member you are less likely to be singled out
* If for whatever reason you lose, you will get to enjoy all the damage to your reputation, all the trauma and indignities that you had to re-live, the black mark on your employment record (Who would hire a liar who sues her employers?), and you'll probably be counter-sued by Uber. I hope you're independently wealthy. --This is FUD. Nevertheless, by being associated with a class action you are far less likely to be singled out for issues. It's even quite hard for them to counter-sue in a class action.
While the legal option is hard and can be scary, it is not a bad option to pursue.