81–90 of 118 posts
So I took this advice a bit too literally when this article came out, and was in denial about all the tantrums my wife was throwing. This weekend, she told me she's hired a lawyer and moved out with my daughter. Should I "buy it" yet?
I'd like to make a thoughtful comment, but I'm struggling to get past the phrase 'age-appropriate'. As someone who has never been 'appropriate' to their chronological age in any respect, it always comes across as reductive, patronising and ultimately dehumanising. It seems to me to be the product of a worldview which sees children not as distinctive individuals with unique preferences and aptitudes, but as mere larva…
I think she's lauded as wise because this story gives the reader an easy bromide disguised as deep understanding. She never once in this story actually sat with her partner and tried to understand what was going on with him. She gave him an answer, made a few demands, and flat out refused to listen. Reading this story broke my heart. I couldn't believe her utter weakness and lack of compassion. The truth is scary. Lo…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
"I'd like to make a thoughtful comment, but I'm struggling to get past the phrase 'age-appropriate'. As someone who has never been 'appropriate' to their chronological age in any respect, it always comes across as reductive, patronising and ultimately dehumanising. It seems to me to be the product of a worldview which sees children not as distinctive individuals with unique preferences and aptitudes, but as mere larv…
At two I was a committed vegetarian, at four a committed socialist, at six a committed atheist. I could calculate the kinetic energy of a bicycle in motion before I could ride one. At four years old, I most certainly did feel de-humanised when refused a vegetarian meal or spitefully tricked into eating meat. I'm obviously a distant outlier, but the standard deviation is much greater than most people imagine. At the o…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
At two I was a committed vegetarian, at four a committed socialist, at six a committed atheist. I could calculate the kinetic energy of a bicycle in motion before I could ride one. At four years old, I most certainly did feel de-humanised when refused a vegetarian meal or spitefully tricked into eating meat. I'm obviously a distant outlier, but the standard deviation is much greater than most people imagine. At the o…
I must admit that, like sdh, I am very curious as to whether you have your own kids.
Exposure to phenomena like "kids" is rather abundant in most societies. For parents as well as non-parents. Observation and analysis about how those phenomena processes seem to be behave can even sometimes be made more accurate by those not emotionally bound up in the here and now.
I believe there is no argumentative authority arising from the fact that one is or is not a parent.
To settle what might be an authority issue for you: I don't know about jdietrich, but I have kids and I mostly agree with him.
I'd like to make a thoughtful comment, but I'm struggling to get past the phrase 'age-appropriate'. As someone who has never been 'appropriate' to their chronological age in any respect, it always comes across as reductive, patronising and ultimately dehumanising. It seems to me to be the product of a worldview which sees children not as distinctive individuals with unique preferences and aptitudes, but as mere larva…
And it was self-evident to any third party that he was lying to himself and to her. It was simply a move in the fight.
When I read the article, I also was surprised by the 'age-appropriate' comment, and wasn't too sure that she responded perfectly, but given my personal experience seeing this actually happen with a couple, I assumed that there was a good chance that her basic diagnosis was correct. And if so, the rest of your comment would simply be a misjudgment - even he would be happy with her response in the end.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I must admit that, like sdh, I am very curious as to whether you have your own kids.
Perhaps I'm misreading you, but this comes across to me like "if you don't have kids yourself you could not possibly understand". That is, I believe, a thoroughly wrong position to take about most anything in life. Exposure to phenomena like "kids" is rather abundant in most societies. For parents as well as non-parents. Observation and analysis about how those phenomena processes seem to be behave can even sometimes…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I must admit that, like sdh, I am very curious as to whether you have your own kids.
Perhaps I'm misreading you, but this comes across to me like "if you don't have kids yourself you could not possibly understand". That is, I believe, a thoroughly wrong position to take about most anything in life. Exposure to phenomena like "kids" is rather abundant in most societies. For parents as well as non-parents. Observation and analysis about how those phenomena processes seem to be behave can even sometimes…
I'd like to make a thoughtful comment, but I'm struggling to get past the phrase 'age-appropriate'. As someone who has never been 'appropriate' to their chronological age in any respect, it always comes across as reductive, patronising and ultimately dehumanising. It seems to me to be the product of a worldview which sees children not as distinctive individuals with unique preferences and aptitudes, but as mere larva…
I think she's lauded as wise because this story gives the reader an easy bromide disguised as deep understanding. She never once in this story actually sat with her partner and tried to understand what was going on with him. She gave him an answer, made a few demands, and flat out refused to listen. Reading this story broke my heart. I couldn't believe her utter weakness and lack of compassion. The truth is scary. Lo…
Of course she has tried that and of course he couldn't explain what was wrong. It is crystal clear that the man wasn't clear on what he thought should be changed. As jjames points out in another comment, his life involves much more than just her. This woman recognized that, accepted that and gave the man room to work out his problems, because those problems did not (primarily) have to do with their relationship.