Notice that this article was posted May 20, 2016. Why was it posted today (January 2, 2017) on HN?
we need reminding
Long-term stress erodes memory
141–150 of 160 posts
Re: Long-term stress erodes memory
#142Notice that this article was posted May 20, 2016. Why was it posted today (January 2, 2017) on HN?
The "News" in Hacker News can be interpreted as a bit of a misnomer. The idea that it's only for newly-published material is a mistaken one. It's for anything that "gratifies one's intellectual curiosity"[0]. It'd be a shame to prevent submissions only because they weren't discovered recently enough.
Re: Long-term stress erodes memory
#143It's comforting to find other Hacker News readers who have experienced stress-induced cognitive impairment. A recent mental breakdown eroded my cognitive abilities. One of the worst aspects of this experience is the feeling that I'm no longer good enough for the work, the communities, and the discourses that are the primary passions of my life.
Re: Long-term stress erodes memory
#144Earlier quoted context omitted.
Kind of tangentially: my dad's dying, and I'm in the process of forcing him to compile end of life documents. So far it is the most stressful thing. Bank accounts, utilities, titles, living will, power of attorney, retirement funds, medical proxy paperwork, the actual will. If you're reading this, do everyone in your life a favor and take care of this shit this week and email it to the people who will be cleaning up…
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. That you are helping him resolve these outstanding issues is most likely a huge relief for him. I've been interested in compiling an end of life documents for myself for my family. Have you found any resources that offer some kind of checklist and guidance as to everything one might need to complete for such a process?
The problem with a checklist is it's _highly_ nation and state dependent.
That said, in the US, generally:
1) Last will and testament: what to do with your stuff when you die
2) Living will: what medical treatment you desire while unable to decide for yourself
3) Power of attorney: who handles your accounts if your incapable
Re: Long-term stress erodes memory
#145So what can you do? How can you escape it?
Mindfulness meditation has helped me to to become more resilient to stress.
Also learning to say no politely is of great help.
I used to often say yes before I really knew what I was agreeing to.
Re: Long-term stress erodes memory
#146Earlier quoted context omitted.
Was the stress primarily because of sleep deprivation/multitasking with a new baby? I am just trying to understand.
Not the poster you're asking, but have 3 kids. Stress factors include: 1) Getting very, very poor sleep, which can last anywhere from 2-12 months depending on your kid and your parenting technique. 2) Higher monthly expenses, plus a potentially-giant bill for the birth, on top of a year of smaller but still substantial bills for various things. This will be worse if the pregnancy is split over two years of insurance…
> Go ahead an multiply the stress of the above by a factor of 10 if your new kid has serious health issues.
3 years ago our then-19 month old was diagnosed with type-1 diabetes - and we haven't had a decent night's rest since. For anyone not aware, type 1 diabetes is a condition where your body stops producing insulin and as a result unable to process carbs into energy. This is not type-2 diabetes that is a result of not taking care of yourself.
Our son could die in the middle of the night from his body not having enough glucose in his system and as a result starving his brain of the energy it requires - ('dead in bed syndrome.') We're up at least 3-4 times in the middle of the night to make sure he's OK.
As a software developer I've been fortunate enough to be able to "afford" the best insurance ($20,000/year (our share) + more than 3-4k/year in out of pocket costs) which affords us the latest and greatest technology - insulin pump with integrated glucose monitor. The tech is ancient by my standards, relative unreliable (his glucose monitor can get a 'weak signal' for seemingly no reason and as a result could fail to report potentially fatal blood glucose levels.
In an ideal world the tech would be more reliable, better connected, services to monitor his blood glucose levels 24/7 would alert us by phone/emergency services/etc when at critical levels.
The stress levels are high because we never have a moment 'off.' In effect we are human, manual versions of a thermostat for his glucose levels. If it's too high he faces the long term consequences of diabetes (loss of vision, neuropathy, etc.) If it's too low he can die.
Next year the stress gets even worse - we have to trust that the school system will be able to manage his diabetes. Up until now he's always with my wife or myself, 24/7 (and occasionally with my parents, who can keep an eye on him for a couple of hours with text messaging as a 'support system' as needed.)
Needless to say there are situations that are much worse than ours, and we're thankful to be able to take care of our son in the interim until technology catches up to make his situation more manageable for him as an adult.
The stress and sleep deprivation have certainly taken their toll. Weight gain, short term memory, etc.
Re: Long-term stress erodes memory
#147A hidden source of stress can be a single individual (or two) who causes you ongoing low levels of stress, without you realizing how big a toll it's really taking on you. I've had it happen, wherein I wonder why I'm feeling anxious, angry, or otherwise. Then, I step back and recognize how a particular person is treating me and realize that a) it's simply wrong/unfair and b) I'm allowing it to happen and allowing it t…
>dispose as necessary I've seen this piece of advice float around quite a bit. I always find it really difficult to understand. If you suspect someone in one of your social groups is causing you a big problem, you can't just eliminate them, they are connected to other people you know too (this might be a family or a workplace). Then the question turns into, shall I leave and find new social groups? This is such a hig…
Depending on the structure of the group, it can definitely be more complicated and can otherwise be somewhat disruptive to the group.
But, there are still ways to put distance between yourself and the source of the problem. And, keep in mind that the distance may not always be physical, but involve other ways to limit contact/interaction.
Also, depending on the type of problems the person is causing you, it's very possible that others in your group are experiencing the same from the person and may also want distance, or at least be supportive of you.
I've unfortunately had to do it with a member of a close group. It was for the same hostile, destructive behavior the person was clearly displaying towards other members of the group and they were well aware of it. I simply told them I was no longer willing to tolerate it, so couldn't be around when the person was. I also explained that I was responsible for my growing family, who depended on me, and I could not afford the additional stress.
It created a rift, but the other members and I still make effort to see each other without this person present. It can usually be done. Virtually any situation can be changed. You just have to decide whether it's worth it. You'll know when it is.
Re: Long-term stress erodes memory
#148Earlier quoted context omitted.
Suggestions: Epictetus' Enchiridion. A cheap, used Dover Editions copy off Ebay is all one needs. Also, if a Christian, morning and evening prayers by candlelight using the 1928 Book of Common Prayer.
hesychasm -- the most underrated aspect of christian spirituality, sadly expelled by most reformation and counter-reformation traditions. A good exercise is to just sit quietly in a dark room, and completely empty your mind. Think no thoughts -- whether you believe them to be good or bad. This simple thing turns out to be so incredibly difficult, that many monks on the Holy Mountain have mastered. I myself can barely…
> hesychasm -- the most underrated aspect of christian spirituality, sadly expelled by most reformation and counter-reformation traditions.
Hesychasm is alive and well in the Orthodox Church. Mostly practised by monks, but well known outside monasteries.
Re: Long-term stress erodes memory
#149Earlier quoted context omitted.
Interesting... I'm having the same issue. In my case my daughter was born 5 months ago and the lack of sleep and sometimes the bad sleep is causing a direct effect on my memory. Before that, I was able to remember a lot of things, but I guess I'm too tired now. Even reading a book is challenging and I have thousand of books. In our case our daughter was born with hip dysplasia and I was under a lot of stress.
One thing my wife and I did that was kind of idiotic with our first child was to both try and deal with the baby at night "as a team". Once we realised that being a team was better visualised as taking on different roles, we functioned way better. As she was on parental leave for a year, it made more sense for her to deal with the baby at night, and for me to get a good night's sleep so I could function during the da…
That's great, thanks for sharing it. Another thing that has pros and cons is the fact that I work from home, so I'm always worried if she breaths, sneezes and if she moves :).But I like the idea of working as a team, thanks for the advice!.
Re: Long-term stress erodes memory
#150Earlier quoted context omitted.
> It boggles my mind that we consider the US a first-world country when I read things like this. We had a hospital stay before the birth, emergency c-section (the cord was around my son's neck), hospital stay after the birth, and about 2 weeks of him staying in the neonatal ICU. I think the bill came to around $30,000 (covered by insurance), and I think we paid a couple of $20 copays. > And the leaving the house/car…
> We had a hospital stay before the birth, emergency c-section (the cord was around my son's neck), hospital stay after the birth, and about 2 weeks of him staying in the neonatal ICU. I think the bill came to around $30,000 (covered by insurance), and I think we paid a couple of $20 copays. If you that's the case and you hadn't already hit a larger yearly out-of-pocket-max through other bills, then your insurance is…
My wife and I have had 3 kids (now 8,6 and 1), all 3 were C-sections with extended hospital stays and all 3 births were covered, in their entirety, including pre-birth obstetrician visits, my wife's follow-up visits and initial pediatric appointments for the kids with zero co-pays. Literally we paid nothing to the doctors or hospitals for the entire year. We've had various flavors of Blue Cross/Blue Shield "HMO Blue" Massachusetts. This is not even the top tier plan Blue Cross offers from my employer - that's the "PPO" plan which has significantly better out of network coverage.