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Let your kids lose: Success inhibits preschoolers’ selective trust

sciencedaily.com

11–20 of 122 posts

Re: Let your kids lose: Success inhibits preschoolers’ selective trust

#11

Solution: play something that has essentially zero strategy, where who wins is close to random. Like Ludo or Yahtzee. My daughter often wins at Ludo, but it's not because I let her. She also often loses.

Another one: handicapping. Chess with rook odds, or Go with a few handicap stones.

Re: Let your kids lose: Success inhibits preschoolers’ selective trust

#13
post #9
post #5

Blocked by security rules? https://i.imgur.com/l2sOlRw.png

That's the local proxy you're accessing through. Talk to IT.

Imgur allowed but Science Daily is blocked. I'd like to know the rationale behind that one =)

Re: Let your kids lose: Success inhibits preschoolers’ selective trust

#14
post #9
post #5

Blocked by security rules? https://i.imgur.com/l2sOlRw.png

That's the local proxy you're accessing through. Talk to IT.

It turned out to be due to Incapsula web accelerator/protector [0]. > Incapsula is a service that secures and accelerates the website you were trying to reach.

It works fine in Firefox/Chrome, I was trying to open it using qutebrowser so maybe it's a problem with QtWebKit? Anyways, my fault for jumping to conclusions (thinking the site was hugged to death).

[0] https://www.incapsula.com/why-am-i-seeing-this-page.html

Re: Let your kids lose: Success inhibits preschoolers’ selective trust

#15

Solution: play something that has essentially zero strategy, where who wins is close to random. Like Ludo or Yahtzee. My daughter often wins at Ludo, but it's not because I let her. She also often loses.

Ludo's fundamental, underlying lesson is that your actions don't matter at all. (The player has literally no agency in the game, it could be equivalently played by a RNG.) That doesn't seem like a good parenting lesson. A board game should be an opportunity to develop strategic thinking skills, rather than teaching the child that they're irrelevant.

Re: Let your kids lose: Success inhibits preschoolers’ selective trust

#17
One solution strategy that works very well from my experience is to ask them upfront whether they want to play "for real" or to play to learn. [edit: A third mode is "for (silly) fun" where everything is allowed.]

This works for all ages... and for boardgames and physical games. It's their choice which mode they want to play in, and they trust and respect you more when given the choice. You treat them as a peer. You can beat them mercilessly, or you can join their side and practice the game together. And the thrill and confidence they get when they beat you playing 'for real' is just priceless.

Re: Let your kids lose: Success inhibits preschoolers’ selective trust

#18

Solution: play something that has essentially zero strategy, where who wins is close to random. Like Ludo or Yahtzee. My daughter often wins at Ludo, but it's not because I let her. She also often loses.

Ludo's fundamental, underlying lesson is that your actions don't matter at all. (The player has literally no agency in the game, it could be equivalently played by a RNG.) That doesn't seem like a good parenting lesson. A board game should be an opportunity to develop strategic thinking skills, rather than teaching the child that they're irrelevant.

The player has literally no agency in the game

A bit of a sidetrack, but Ludo does have decisions: which disc to move and how many spaces. Chasing vs rushing to complete. Whether to move a disc when a 6 is diced or to bring a new disc into play.

Chutes/snakes and Ladders is pure luck.

Re: Let your kids lose: Success inhibits preschoolers’ selective trust

#20
This something I've realized about my own impostor syndrome: the people who are most likely to knock me down a peg when I'm being overconfident are the only ones I trust when they compliment me. If you only ever hear positive things from someone, you can't trust that what they say is true.
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