If you're conflicted about spending thousands of dollars for a diamond ring just give your fiance the money it would cost you to buy a diamond ring and tell her it's her decision. Most girls would think twice about spending thousands of dollars on a rock and instead spend some of it while keeping the rest for other future expenditures.
Diamonds Suck (2006)
201–210 of 618 posts
Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)
#202Earlier quoted context omitted.
Did you get to the point of explaining why you're against diamonds? Was she able to tell you why she wants a diamond in particular? To resolve this issue it would be good to exchange the exact, real reasons why one side wants the diamond and the other doesn't. But even then, it may end up your GF will insist on the diamond - while all the rational-in-the-vacuum reasons are against diamonds, there's this whole thing c…
> So if she insist, don't be angry at her - be angry at De Beers. I completely agree. My fiancé and I are currently two engaged Americans, and we had a couple conversations about how we envision our wedding ceremony to happen. For the most part, we had very casual viewpoints on marriage (we don't need to make a big deal out of it), but she wanted a ring and I wasn't too hot on giving De Beers more money. She agreed w…
What about the synthetic diamond excluded it from the options?
Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)
#203My wife has a diamond engagement ring and wedding band. Since then I've bought her several cubic zirconias. I can tell the difference (I'm a geologist by training) because the CZ's have too much fire, but I'm not sure I would ever see the difference if I didn't know in advance. And moissanites are much closer even than CZ in diamond-like properties. CZ, however, is way cheaper. Like $10 for a 1-carat stone.
Could be that moissanite is just expensive enough to qualify as an engagement stone (where CS is way too cheap).
Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)
#204Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)
#205Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's definitely not just that, because placing huge import on diamonds, and gushing over their (much agreed upon) beauty, and having preferences for stones and cuts etc., and showing them off at the office, and talking about their size and how much they must have cost, and equating some of those things with the size of someone's affection and worth as a person, are still ubiquitous in (at least) American society. As…
>As far as I can tell they're only on the way out with bleeding-edge progressives. A demographic known for their immunity to costly signalling behaviors.
Which is why the Tesla model S is so wildly unpopular in the bay area.
Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)
#206> superior to diamonds in every essential way: cut, color, clarity, durability, fire, brilliance
Yet the author still uses the "desirable" properties taught by the diamond industry
Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)
#207After reading about Moissanite I went out and got a nice custom diamond ring. I've seen it in person and sometimes you CAN tell, because of the 'fire' its way more rainbowy than diamond, diamonds are 'whiter' looking. I'm not even opposed to CZ if it looks pretty, but I wanted to give her a diamond and gold, and anything else would have felt like a substitution.
This is what annoys me. The geek and idealist in me doesn't want to give her a diamond because it's not that valuable. Yet, I don't want to be cheap. I don't want her to feel like I don't value her enough.
So go on a fantastic two month trip around the world together? It's about the same ballpark.
Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)
#208Earlier quoted context omitted.
I sent this to my SO and she now wants one instead of a diamond. Until now, it's been non-negotiable. Thanks for writing. I did not want to buy a diamond :)
> Until now, it's been non-negotiable. I really hate to be a random person on the internet giving personal advice but... diamonds being "non-negotiable" seems like a huge, glowing, neon warning sign. Don't be surprised to find out a bunch of other things are non-negotiable if you divorce.
Wow. It's very difficult to respond to you civically. We've been together for a long long time. It is amazing what people you don't know on the internet will assume about you.
There was no alternative before this article. Cubic is cheap and tacky. Diamonds are overpriced and awful. Lab diamonds not much better. This article has a real alternative. That's a huge contribution to all diamond haters everywhere.
Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)
#209I'm the OP - surprised to see this at the top of HN today, but happy to post a quick update: My wife and I have been happily married for ten years now. She loves her ring, and it has held up extremely well. (She just had the band resized, absolutely no issues with the stones.) No one has ever thought it was anything other than a diamond ring, which includes several years of daily scrutiny from crazy New York City bri…
Not all diamonds are "blood" diamonds nor are they all associated with DeBeers. Canadian diamonds are conflict free and environmentally sourced.
Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)
#210Koi carps are a fish with a lot of variance in their cost. Koi carps can cost from $25 to over $50000, depending on their size and color. What do you need a larger koi carp for? Well, I personally do not know why someone might be so appreciative of larger fish, go ask that person.
Price is about perceived value and perception can be manipulated in many, many ways.
And you can pretty much start talking about mostly anything. Wristwatches, cars, etc... and how some features are super important where in real life they probably aren't.
Just like a larger koi carp, lower 0 to 60 mph so you can get to that red traffic light faster, a shiny gold watch that will give you the exact same time, wine that tastes 90% the same as a wine with 10% of the cost, and we can go on and on...
Truth is that some of those things make people happy, and that's pretty much all the reason behind it. Just go for the ring that will give you the "yes".