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Diamonds Suck (2006)

diamondssuck.com

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Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#181

Post by ziszis »

fizixer wrote: post #166
joshkaufman wrote: post #66

I'm the OP - surprised to see this at the top of HN today, but happy to post a quick update: My wife and I have been happily married for ten years now. She loves her ring, and it has held up extremely well. (She just had the band resized, absolutely no issues with the stones.) No one has ever thought it was anything other than a diamond ring, which includes several years of daily scrutiny from crazy New York City bri…

Would you confirm or deny my two hunches: - Lab-grown diamonds are purer, more perfect crystals, cheaper, and better than mined diamonds in every way. (ignoring the market manipulation factor, which I'm not too knowledgeable about, except that I've heard big diamond companies do some shady things to keep prices high) - Girls hate lab-grown diamonds because they consider them "artificial". Also in your article, you do…

1st assumption is correct. 2nd assumption is incorrect.

My wife was perfectly happy in particular with the environmental and ethical benefits. Also doesn't hurt that you can get a larger diamond that looks much better.

Give your girl the benefit of the doubt.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#182

Post by vwyunvnx »

ftrflyr wrote: post #96

I told my girlfriend (5 years) how I feel about diamonds and that I reject the very notion of buying a diamond engagement / wedding ring early on in our relationship. Several months ago, we landed on the marriage conversation, again. I reiterated that I am against diamond engagement bands. She then said: "What about a wedding ring then?" I told her it applies to wedding rings as well. We got into a heated argument an…

I've thought about what I would do in your situation. One way to counter the "you're cheap and don't love me enough to spend the money" thoughts that she may have is to spend the same amount of money. Say you buy her some kind of ring whatever setting / stone / etc... The rest of the "3 month's salary" marketing that has been shoved upon us you could donate to charity or give away to relatives, homeless or whatever. That along with explaining your rationale as someone else suggested would be good too. Show her resources online. Hearing it from someone else can help, show her you're not the only one. If you're still at a deadlock after that well, take it or leave it...

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#183

Post by Odenwaelder »

atomical wrote: post #176
Odenwaelder wrote: post #171

I can't get over the fact that americans apparently pay $5k-10k for an engagement ring. As if this decides the success of the marriage.

I have known people that spent $18k-30k. If I was on the other side it would scare me that my partner was willing to blow that much money on a novelty. It's a sign that they are bad with money.

I paid a three digit sum and chose the ring based on what my girlfriend likes. She loves it.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#185

Post by jakebellacera »

TeMPOraL wrote: post #106
ftrflyr wrote: post #96

I told my girlfriend (5 years) how I feel about diamonds and that I reject the very notion of buying a diamond engagement / wedding ring early on in our relationship. Several months ago, we landed on the marriage conversation, again. I reiterated that I am against diamond engagement bands. She then said: "What about a wedding ring then?" I told her it applies to wedding rings as well. We got into a heated argument an…

Did you get to the point of explaining why you're against diamonds? Was she able to tell you why she wants a diamond in particular? To resolve this issue it would be good to exchange the exact, real reasons why one side wants the diamond and the other doesn't. But even then, it may end up your GF will insist on the diamond - while all the rational-in-the-vacuum reasons are against diamonds, there's this whole thing c…

> So if she insist, don't be angry at her - be angry at De Beers.

I completely agree. My fiancé and I are currently two engaged Americans, and we had a couple conversations about how we envision our wedding ceremony to happen. For the most part, we had very casual viewpoints on marriage (we don't need to make a big deal out of it), but she wanted a ring and I wasn't too hot on giving De Beers more money. She agreed with me, even admitted that it was a silly notion to have a diamond ring, but I can tell it's what she truly wanted.

At the end of the day, I decided to go with the diamond and she really loves it. If I had gotten my way, I would've gone with an alternative like moissanite or a synthetic, but we're both happy with the outcome.

It's good to see that Americans are starting to wake up about wedding culture, but I'm anticipating that it will take a few generations for most people to rid themselves of it. If I purchased an alternative gemstone for my fiancé, her parents would've been upset with me, but if my child wanted to get an alternative gemstone, I would praise them.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#186

Post by bluejekyll »

beevai142 wrote: post #111
sametmax wrote: post #31

Seems like an american things really. In France, nobody would expect anyone to buy a certain kind of ring. As long as it's pretty, you can go for anything. Or no engagement ring. Some friends of mine don't even get wedding rings. And I just met a not married couple wearing rings just because they liked it. Our wedding ceremonies are also usually way cheaper and less show off that the ones your pop culture is selling…

Given that the diamond ring fad apparently originated from a marketing campaign, it would be interesting to see how well the belief that wedding rings should have a diamond correlates with where the ads were run. At least in the nordics, I don't think there's a specific type of wedding (EDIT: or engagement) ring that you're expected to have, and I think many people have no stone of any kind embedded in theirs.

It's the engagement ring that traditionally has a stone, not the wedding band, which is often just a pure metal (in the US), though many have small stones around the ring.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#187

Post by dllthomas »

fizixer wrote: post #166
joshkaufman wrote: post #66

I'm the OP - surprised to see this at the top of HN today, but happy to post a quick update: My wife and I have been happily married for ten years now. She loves her ring, and it has held up extremely well. (She just had the band resized, absolutely no issues with the stones.) No one has ever thought it was anything other than a diamond ring, which includes several years of daily scrutiny from crazy New York City bri…

Would you confirm or deny my two hunches: - Lab-grown diamonds are purer, more perfect crystals, cheaper, and better than mined diamonds in every way. (ignoring the market manipulation factor, which I'm not too knowledgeable about, except that I've heard big diamond companies do some shady things to keep prices high) - Girls hate lab-grown diamonds because they consider them "artificial". Also in your article, you do…

Regarding the second, that's very much the angle DeBeers marketing has been trying to push. In practice, it will be true of some girls and not true about others.

FWIW, I agree that "science and the progress of human knowledge" isn't exactly the right symbolism for a wedding ring. But I do think it's better than "blood and oppression", at least given my personal views on marriage...

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#188

Post by dsacco »

valarauca1 wrote: post #167
ftrflyr wrote: post #96

I told my girlfriend (5 years) how I feel about diamonds and that I reject the very notion of buying a diamond engagement / wedding ring early on in our relationship. Several months ago, we landed on the marriage conversation, again. I reiterated that I am against diamond engagement bands. She then said: "What about a wedding ring then?" I told her it applies to wedding rings as well. We got into a heated argument an…

If symbols of love are more important then actual love you should get out of that relationship. Seems toxic.

It's a bit rude to make an armchair analysis of someone's intimate relationship dynamics based on a single internet comment, don't you think?

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#190

Post by daveguy »

fizixer wrote: post #166
joshkaufman wrote: post #66

I'm the OP - surprised to see this at the top of HN today, but happy to post a quick update: My wife and I have been happily married for ten years now. She loves her ring, and it has held up extremely well. (She just had the band resized, absolutely no issues with the stones.) No one has ever thought it was anything other than a diamond ring, which includes several years of daily scrutiny from crazy New York City bri…

Would you confirm or deny my two hunches: - Lab-grown diamonds are purer, more perfect crystals, cheaper, and better than mined diamonds in every way. (ignoring the market manipulation factor, which I'm not too knowledgeable about, except that I've heard big diamond companies do some shady things to keep prices high) - Girls hate lab-grown diamonds because they consider them "artificial". Also in your article, you do…

I think a lot of women would now prefer a perfect diamond over a dirty ground diamond.
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