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What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

nytimes.com

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Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#81

Post by gadthrow »

pipio21 wrote: post #52
throwaway28935 wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me it was the opposite. The whole time I was overworking I was aware and wishing I wasn't and very much imagining myself doing other things. Now I'm aware and wishing I was back to normal and working. I spent about 4 years working flat out. If I was awake I was working, trying to keep the income coming after the recession hit. Then something snapped. The now ex-wife had to unwind the things I was part way through…

You do procrastinate. What is happening is that you basically forced yourself to work when you did not want to for so long, your emotional system learned that work is pain, basically. Think of this like a Paulov conditioning a dog to have an electric shock every time he lights a bulb. At the end the dog avoids the lightbulb at all cost, even when not lighted. Forcing yourself to do something painful trained your brai…

Thank you for this. I went through something similar and therapists told me it was simply depression, but this is a better and more thorough explanation by far.

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#82

Post by austinjp »

WhitneyLand wrote: post #22

Related info: Compared to people with the lowest psychological scores, those with highest scores were: 86 percent more likely to have a stroke or TIA for high depressive symptoms. 59 percent more likely to have a stroke or TIA for the highest chronic stress scores. More than twice as likely to have a stroke or TIA for the highest hostility scores. http://newsroom.heart.org/news/high-stress-hostility-depress...

Yep, although:

"One thing we didn’t assess is coping strategies...it’s possible that positive coping strategies could ameliorate some of these associations or effects... We did not inquire about coping. I would say that’s one of the tasks for future studies."

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#83

Post by agumonkey »

I had an accident that led to cardiovascular / brain issues that reminded me of this, although less critical at first, but lingering. Since I do not need to be hospitalized, I could reflect on it, and it was like knowing how it felt to be handicaped, suffering debilitating diseases or even what old age could feel. It sheds a strong light on the life of others and yours, how fragile health can be. That said it's also sad how impossible it is to know this beforehand (if you're between child and old, many doctors will just handwave over some symptoms).

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#84

Post by M_Grey »

mercer wrote: post #66
M_Grey wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The trick is to accept that we're animals, and that meta-cognition is only a part of the game we're playing. We have to figure out ways to deal with the less expressive and more primitive parts of ourselves that don't respond as well to that "internal voice". Sometimes you just have to count primes and take deep breaths, even if it feels silly.

I try to remind myself of that whenever I am anxious. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Meditation has also had some positive effect, as has CBT. But man does it feel weird that my brain is aware of its own misbehavior and yet can't master it.

It's a humbling experience, especially if (as I'm sure many here are) you're an analytical sort, used to problems being resolved with focus and attention.

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#85

Post by agumonkey »

dav- wrote: post #40
cesarbs wrote: post #19

I'm 28 and have severe hypochondria, so this article was a terrifying read. Having a stroke is my #1 fear. But reading it makes me feel good about having shifted my attitude to work after I got married. I don't think I'll ever be the workaholic that I was in my early 20s, because my priorities have shifted so much after getting married and I've become especially frightened of the idea of stressing myself out to the p…

I struggled with severe hypochondria for about two years. I had been feeling tingling/numbness/buzzing all over my body, coming on in waves and lasting anywhere from minutes to over a week at a time. I was ~~worried~~ convinced that it was MS. My (awesome) doctor told me that it was super unlikely to be something as serious as MS, and that it was most likely my anxiety. I had always avoided medications in the past; e…

"Funny", after grief, I started to feel tons of problems, but also heart issues (as mentioned in another comment in this thread). Although it was way more than tingling and sensations (pain in fingers arteries, arm veins, heart, all felt like tiny clogging things moving around), I couldn't lift my arms, run or do any sort of efforts, for an ex athlete it was very damaging.

Anyway I also did the same tests as yours. Things looked normal, but I dismissed their tests (a 5min effort test is not enough, you can exhaust yourself in 5 minute, you'd need 15minutes sustained effort to trigger change in heart and vascular regime). After 2 different doctors, I finally accepted the SSRI pill. It did affect my state tremendously for 2 days, mostly brain and lung. Still not good enough on the muscular/stamina side though.

Body is a complex machine.

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#86

Post by agumonkey »

gm-conspiracy wrote: post #75
daeken wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> On the symptoms side of things though, I now have to go to the doctor. Again. Reading about the buzzing in the right eye and the tingling was terrifying because I've been feeling something similar for the past few months. So onto my 4th brain scan in the past few years... Sigh. Hypochondria is a bitch. I really hope you find a way to handle this that doesn't involve very expensive reassurance from doctors. I experi…

How many of us here have gotten EKGs for panic attacks we thought were heart-attacks?

I did delay such tests for long, what decided me is very weak pulse in the morning, even after a normal night of sleep, and completely at rest horizontally. I had trouble keep my arms above my chest (felt like they were weighting a ton, same sensation if you try to hold your arms up for a few minutes). Also the fact that I couldn't use my indoor bike for 10 minutes without feeling numbness in many places and tingling that also reminded me of bad blood flow. I had to submit to cardiologists conclusion saying "nothing I can see here". My main problem with this is that, maybe a big panic/anxiety can trigger weak heart, bad blood flow, fat accumulation and small stroke. Which then weaken your heart for longer period, hence the whole fatigue, weak pulse, effort intolerance. Etc. Standard cardiac/blood pressure tests don't look there, and the only way would be high end cardiac or very invasive artery monitoring (angiography, coronarography) ...

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#87

Post by Zelphyr »

helloworld wrote: post #47
Zelphyr wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Check Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT). It's a form of CBT that has been particularly successful in treating anxiety-related issues.

ACT sounds interesting. This is from an Amazon interview with its creator, Steven Hayes, who's written a book: We get a lot of training in how to develop and use our minds, but we get very little training in how to step out of the mental chatter when that is needed.... Learning how to get out of your mind and into your life when you need to do that is an essential skill in the modern world. [1] [1] https://www.amazon…

The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris is another good and very approachable book on ACT.

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#88

Post by SmellyGeekBoy »

gerbilly wrote: post #73

I've been thinking about this lately and I've concluded that a big driver of overwork is the misguided quest for fulfillment. Not really fulfillment like we normally call it, I'd say more like acceptance. Perhaps many of us are seeking love and acceptance from bosses and coworkers, and overworking ourselves to obtain it. I believe that building your identity on anything that isn't yours is stressful. Building your eg…

> People need to remember that work is the place where they have "human resource" departments, where they will make cut and dried decisions on who to retain and who to lay off the moment they want to adjust a budget.

Or looked at from another angle, this is one of the very reasons people want to be seen to be "going the extra mile" compared to their colleagues (not that I'm disagreeing - the point about seeking acceptance is a very important one).

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#90

Post by GFischer »

pipio21 wrote: post #52
throwaway28935 wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me it was the opposite. The whole time I was overworking I was aware and wishing I wasn't and very much imagining myself doing other things. Now I'm aware and wishing I was back to normal and working. I spent about 4 years working flat out. If I was awake I was working, trying to keep the income coming after the recession hit. Then something snapped. The now ex-wife had to unwind the things I was part way through…

You do procrastinate. What is happening is that you basically forced yourself to work when you did not want to for so long, your emotional system learned that work is pain, basically. Think of this like a Paulov conditioning a dog to have an electric shock every time he lights a bulb. At the end the dog avoids the lightbulb at all cost, even when not lighted. Forcing yourself to do something painful trained your brai…

Cognitive Behavior Therapy is exactly for this kind of problems.

I'm not sure where the original poster is, but here in my country, you can get free therapy by going to the training/university centre.

You get therapy by postgraduate trainees (but very sharp and with everything fresh), and supervised by some of the very best, unaffordable professionals :)

Here's a list in the United States (where I guess the poster lives):

http://www.academyofct.org/lowcost/

pipio21's suggestion of self-directed therapy seems to be validated :) :

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/06/19/depressed-tr...

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