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Why are Adults so busy?

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Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#211

Post by VLM »

jdimov10 wrote: post #13

The article doesn't really answer the question. It says adults are busy because they have too much stuff to do (duh..) But "why" is still a good question, and it remains unanswered. The answer is that, as we grow up, we tend to develop the belief that our well-being needs to be justified somehow. In other words, we start to believe that we are not by default worthy of living a good, joyful, care-free, abundant life..…

A "why" I'll give that doesn't violate Ockhams Razor or elaborately explain social signalling without mentioning the term is I'm an introvert and I'm massively recharging when I'm standing in front of my stove chilling out to my favorite podcast while tasting amazing flavors from a new recipe, just basically loving life, just soaking up the good feels. I'll probably need them later at work or something. Standing alone in front of a stove is one of many extrovert hells but, not being an extrovert it is extremely recharging for me. In fact just sitting here writing this I'm daydreaming of an interesting mushroom and potatoe vegetarian casserole I'm excited to try cooking this Saturday, I'm really looking forward to the experience.

And to get that kind of recharging experience without hurting feelings sometimes you have to tell other adults, well, sure I'd "love" to sit in a two hour traffic jam to get to some sportsball game (I don't care about sports), or I'd "love" to sit in a smokey (I don't smoke) bar full of obnoxious drunks (I rarely drink) all night (I rarely stay up all night or up late), but woe is me I gotta do yardwork or the HOA will ticket me (actually I don't have a HOA where I live), woe is me woe is me, you guys go on bravely without me, adults are just soooo busy what a shame it truly is. And everyone leaves happy.

Its important to note there's doing laundry as per the mom in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory all exhausted and sweaty and drudgery and heavy manual labor for a 16 hour working day, but lets face it, my "2 hours per week" from the insane article is less than 5 minutes of moving stuff from baskets to machines and more than 1:55 of reading an exciting new book or playing in my workshop or playing video games or goofing off online. Again see above paragraphs, I'm sure doing laundry is some circle of hell for an extrovert but I've got my headphones on and I am totally rocking it and having a great time, maybe the best time of my week.

If you think its ridiculous for extroverts to "extrovert" in some of the article activities individually, imagine how crazy my actual life is for an extrovert when I double dip. If you're not sweating you're not cleaning hard enough, so I count cleaning time as exercise time, and why not do that while the clothes are in the dryer, that's triple dipping? That's not extrovert compatible lifestyle, somehow I don't envision hearing "hey bros come on over for beers and sweaty toilet scrubbing party!" Yet weird as it sounds with the right music or right podcast blasting, cleaning the bathroom isn't the worst part of the week.

Its not socially acceptable in general to be an introvert or admit to it, but I'm old enough to have accumulated enough F-you points to get away with that kind of behavior.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#212

Post by patates »

dazc wrote: post #83
mrec wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This post gives me hope. And a rekindled desire to learn Spanish. I just wish I coped with hot weather better.

Yes, learning Spanish is tough and July/August is pretty hot, so much so I returned to the UK for 2 months.

I can speak maybe 5 words in Spanish but I was usually told that it was easy to learn?

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#213

Post by teekert »

allengeorge wrote: post #58
informatimago wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Of course, but does that really matter? If you do your moment stuff, and forget to buy groceries, is that really a problem of not having food for diner? Just skip it, you won't die. Why doing today what can be done tomorrow? Then you only need to do planning on the really important stuff.

Yes - that can be a problem. For example, today may be the only day in the next few days I have time to buy groceries. So, not getting it today is more than "not having food for dinner", it's more like "not having breakfast for the next few days". Aight, so now I just buy breakfast on the go for the next few days, which means I've just spent 3x+ the amount of money I would on breakfast as opposed to just planning ahe…

I know people that made this their life style and how such occasions as opportunities. Opportunities to eat with friends, eat at your parents or do some rigorous dieting. Moreover, not being prepared by having at least some canned food in your closet has nothing to do with being busy or not.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#214

Post by kale »

sotojuan wrote: post #155
sagischwarz wrote: post #21

The numbers seemed very high to me so I created a list on my own and thought I'd share it (single, no kids, full time job). 1. Work: 40 hours 2. Cooking: 3 h (who the hell cooks three times a day?) 3. Laundry: 0.5 h (once a week) 4. Cleaning: 1 h (and I am very clean, I just avoid producing dirt) 5. Buying stuff: .5 h (I try to avoid buying too much stuff I don't really need) 6. Bills: 0 h (they a are paid automatica…

How have you produced less dirt? I've been trying it out. No shoes in the house has helped a lot but I'm curious about what other ways there are.

Not OP but: High quality mats inside and outside every entrance to the house/apartment. I use a stiff bristle mat outside and a softer/more absorbent mat inside.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#215

Post by pbhjpbhj »

csydas wrote: post #69
dazc wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having grown up in the UK I've always felt guilty about not doing anything in my free time. Partly because everyone else seems to be living such a busy and rewarding existence (or so they would have me believe). Now, living in Spain, I feel it's OK not to do anything. Just sitting in the shade for 6 hours watching the world go by doesn't make me a weirdo, like it does back home.

Heh, I've noticed that Western culture does put a different emphasis on work ethics. After moving to Russia, I've just noticed a different approach to how work is perceived, and my partner and her mom have often cited this proverb at me: Работа не волк - в лес не убежит. Work is not a wolf, it will not run to the forest. Basically, the idea is work isn't going anywhere, so no need to worry that much about it. At my l…

>Western culture does put a different emphasis on work ethics.

See "protestant work ethic".

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#216

Post by personlurking »

dazc wrote: post #83
mrec wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This post gives me hope. And a rekindled desire to learn Spanish. I just wish I coped with hot weather better.

Yes, learning Spanish is tough and July/August is pretty hot, so much so I returned to the UK for 2 months.

I'm in Sevilla for several weeks and was told by locals to come in September rather than August, due to the heat letting up. So far, it's been 40-45C every single day (save for the past few), and that leaves me couped up in the apt.

I'm missing Lisbon, where I usually live (over 300 days of sun yet it never really gets unbearably hot). I can't imagine being in Andalucia during the entire summer, though I hear Granada isn't as bad (probably due to being 30 min to the mountains and 30 min to the beach).

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#217

Post by ghaff »

pps43 wrote: post #185
thebigspacefuck wrote: post #152

I keep catching myself thinking or using the excuse I have no time, but I mostly spend my time on the internet or watching TV. Some nights I do the dishes or actually go for a walk, go grocery shopping, but mostly I'm just hanging on, making sure I'm ready for he next day. I'm freaking addicted to information and the internet, which leave me feeling frantic. I forgo sleeping for the internet and it brings me little p…

> from someone older, who was in the 80s There was the same amount of time, but it was allocated differently. There were phone calls. If somebody calls you on the phone, you stop doing what you're doing and talk to them. Apart from that, time was scheduled in larger chunks, with fever context switches. You watch a movie start to finish, not a bunch of 2 minute Youtube videos. You spend an evening printing photos in t…

Yes to all your points. With respect to watching TVs and movies, you also had to basically be in front of the TV at the right time for at least part of that period--I don't think I had a VCR until 1988 or so. I tried to watch the evening news as I didn't get a daily newspaper.

Shopping was mostly physical shopping other than a few catalogs. I remember going into the city once a month or so to go to bookstores etc.

Bills were all a matter of writing physical checks once a week or so.

I also had a shareware software business during that period. So one of my weekly tasks was stuffing floppies into floppy mailer envelopes. (They could choose 3.5" or 5.25" formats with or without printed docs.)

ADDED: I should say that I spent a fair amount of time on BBS's prior to Usenet/Web.

Etc.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#218

Post by agumonkey »

sridca wrote: post #204
agumonkey wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ha, I should have been more careful, there was no hidden tone in my previous message. I genuinely wanted to know more about how to, and what are the limits (losing condition is probably not childhood regression either). Do you consider asian philosophy (like buddhism I believe) that takes a contemplative approach on existence, to be childlike (from memories, I used to spend a lot of time contemplating things, lots of…

I find the word 'marvelling' more fitting to describe the childhood experiencing of "lots of things are amazing when you're a kid, stone, river, rain, sky, .." than 'contemplating' because the contemplation of Buddhism is a whole new ball game entirely (I find nothing childlike--much less naive--in withdrawing from the world of senses into a detached reality that forms the essence of meditative practices). As you wan…

Thanks a lot for the links.

About Buddhism, I thought the withdrawing was only a first step toward a stable "marvelling". But I'm completely not educated on the subject.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#219

Post by FilterSweep »

emodendroket wrote: post #169
majewsky wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having children is a choice. Most things in the original list are not a choice.

Yeah, if you "choose" to be a hermit living in the woods I suppose you can cross off the 40 hours a week for work too.

A hermit living in the woods still must nourish him/herself, and find/build shelter.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#220

Post by dominotw »

the-dude wrote: post #4

I have scaled back years ago: ditched the car ( does away with a whole class of problems/bills ). When I had a job no more than 32hrs. No TV, no cable. Do my groceries in combination with going the postal office, while biking/walking. I rent, do not own. Try to own as little as possible. I call it the 'small life'. Lots of people in town know me, I know them, build a pretty social life. I am not going back.

> No TV, no cable. > Lots of people in town know me, I know them, build a pretty social life.

I love TV( youtube, Netflix, amazon etc). I grew up with state TV and there is no stopping me now. There are all kinds of amazing stuff on TV, there is no limit to how much you can explore the world. Eg: This week, I time traveled back to soviet union in the 50's got to look their communal houses, social classes, dress codes, social norms ect all while being entertained [1].

I would rather be emotionally dependent on TV than a bunch of unpredictable random strangers. 'Small life' to me not less stuff ( stuff is cheap), its having predictable emotional dependencies. I don't understand the minimalism movement, people are somehow emotionally tied to their couch so getting rid of it makes them free?

>ditched the car ( does away with a whole class of problems/bills ).

I never got into an actual car till I was 19 yrs old. Now I own a cheap new car that bought for around 20k from my savings. Only bill I pay is insurance of ~$100, and there is routine maintenance once every couple of months. I don't consider that 'whole class of problems'. I love owning a car, so much freedom and less dependence on random unpredictable human beings. Small life.

1. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01GU8CN0K/ref=dv_web_wtls_list_pr...

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