41–50 of 57 posts
> But five years later, after he'd isolated my mother by taking her 2,000 miles away from her friends and family > or why his one-bedroom apartment was deemed suitable for overnights with two girls, but that was the decision. He moved apartments twice more, but never anywhere more spacious, so my sister and I continued to share a bed that unfolded from the living room couch > In these close quarters, he crossed a lin…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Rationally I'd have to agree, but emotionally is a whole other ballpark. You have to be able to have peace with yourself, to have done at least that which you yourself think is the absolute minimum to be a "good person" and look yourself in the eye when you stand in front of the mirror. It doesn't matter what the other person did; you have to find peace both with your own actions and with what has been done to you, w…
Your comment makes a lot of sense. A friend of mine, now over 50, still struggles with his mother's rejection throughout his childhood. He and his siblings have confirmed stories of malice (bleeding after being beaten by his mother with a whip, euthanising a much loved pet out of spite, etc). Despite enduring years of torment, he still seeks his mother's affection. She died a long time ago and he never came to terms…
"There was also the reckoning that comes around that age when you realize two things: one, your parents are just people, and nobody is a saint and nobody is a sinner and everybody is somewhere in between." Wow, reading this hurts me because it makes me feel so privileged in life for having the family I had. That phrase is a terrible rationalization of her situation. Volunteering with kids that are drugs addicts or ha…
Got any references for me to lookup? I wasn't aware of any such laws.
No one owes an abusive person anything. Helping them to continue evil games isn't beneficial to anyone. Family should be held to at least the same standard as friends. As far as I'm concerned, anyone playing the family card gets minus three on the dice roll.
No one owes an abusive person anything. Helping them to continue evil games isn't beneficial to anyone. Family should be held to at least the same standard as friends. As far as I'm concerned, anyone playing the family card gets minus three on the dice roll.
Well, we all owe an abusive person a chance at rehabilitation. Speaking rationally, morally, and ethically.
the people he or she has abused? nope
"There was also the reckoning that comes around that age when you realize two things: one, your parents are just people, and nobody is a saint and nobody is a sinner and everybody is somewhere in between." Wow, reading this hurts me because it makes me feel so privileged in life for having the family I had. That phrase is a terrible rationalization of her situation. Volunteering with kids that are drugs addicts or ha…
> European countries there are laws that force you to do it Got any references for me to lookup? I wasn't aware of any such laws.
http://www.dw.com/en/should-children-have-to-pay-for-parents... for Germany. That's from 2010.
That's from some searching on "Europe children taking care of parents law" and "Germany children taking care of parents law". I didn't try other variants for other countries.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm not entirely sure on the laws in the US but in Germany the law basically considers parents to be responsible for their children and as the parents and children get older, eventually the children become responsible for the parents. I'd imagine it's similar in other countries. A lot of the time there isn't much or any consideration given in case of abusive relationships. Even though I think we both agree on the fac…
Actually, this varies a lot depending on country, and in the US depending on state. In European Union, different member states have different practices. Germany and South European countries have laws and strong social norms that adult children must take care (or at least pay) for caring their old parents. Northern Europe does not (Nordic countries, Netherlands, Belgium, I understand Britain as well). According to [0]…
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/china-parents-children-v...
No one owes an abusive person anything. Helping them to continue evil games isn't beneficial to anyone. Family should be held to at least the same standard as friends. As far as I'm concerned, anyone playing the family card gets minus three on the dice roll.
The human instinct in me agrees completely. Having said that, as someone who is both an atheist, and someone who has had family members killed by another person, I have had both the time, and the rare circumstance to think about this a lot. I've become aware of the fact that we need to forgive, despite whatever has wronged us. This is the only possible way to prevent the cycle of hate breeding hate. I know it sounds…
People don't often deserve to be forgiven but the victim deserves to move on and through some weird irony of human psychology that often requires forgiving someone who has no right to be forgiven.
Are any of the people taking a hard line here ("She owes him nothing!") actually children of abusive parents?
As the son of one who's in fact gotten even more abusive this year, as my father got early stage Alzheimer's, which to date is still a minor disability, to more comprehensively take out 57 years worth of grudges against him, to the point of the unforgivable, to the point I'm almost certain she wants him dead if she can arrange it through sins of omission.... Yes, there are people who you're technically that close to,…