Live data from Hacker News

A scammer stole $500 from me and in the end begged me not to tell his parents

blog.haschek.at

161–170 of 177 posts

Re: A scammer stole $500 from me and in the end begged me not to tell his parents

#161
post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, the idea that half the thread is essentially saying "leave him alone, he's learned his lesson", when he is making responses like, "Please leave me alone after this I won't do anything like this anymore I am having panic of attacks just thinking about this." is just crazy. This kid STOLE from someone and makes himself sound like the victim in almost everything he says. How on earth are people so gullible?

I see it as half this thread is all like "Yeah, tell his parents! That'll show him! Haha, we're all both fair and appropriately nasty and putting a poor misunderstood kid back on track." This sounds like exactly what the scammer wanted to manipulate everybody into thinking. To me, the scammer's message stinks to high heaven. I translate "Oh noes, I'm just a poor college kid, I'm so totally having panic attacks over t…

Gave you an upvote there. I have gotten taken advantage of - and embarrassingly, a bit too late in my life to use my age as an explanation... All the clients I've had before this first bad one were generally decent; the obvious idiots were obvious.

The second time around, for this nonprofit, I grokked he was a full blown psychopath (although not quickly enough) - the people who had been working with him for the previous 5 years had kept giving him the benefit of the doubt wrt his horrible interpersonal style and behaviour. They got me sucked into the mess because I trusted them over my gut.

In the dust-up over matters this summer, this clown kept claiming he was the victim to an outrageous extent despite the fact it was his actions that instigated the blow up of the organization. People with anti-social personality disorders are very good at social manipulation / PR / etc and it's difficult to get bystanders to really understand the whole thing w/o a lot of explanation, which bystanders are not terribly interested in listening to - e.g. "which person is the real victim?" I think a key factor in these sorts of events is that the scammer etc sets the situation up (or makes plans to) to be able to successfully play the victim from the outset when needed.

The police should have been contacted. "Poor me" talk from a 22 year old ... it all sounded really fake. There is something in the way language is "used" that triggers my warning bells. Then again, I am biased as I have been through this myself first hand in dealing with a 57 year old. I can now see how twisty his use of language was and how glossing over details and omitting facts can guide the reader into believing what is being said - not outright lies, but manipulation of the reader's emotions.

Re: A scammer stole $500 from me and in the end begged me not to tell his parents

#162
post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Downvoted you. It's a big jump from "somebody, 22 yo, scammed somebody else online at least once" to "psychopath". To be frank, I think I wish the word "psychopath" was deleted from the dictionary altogether. It's just a handy label to apply to all sorts of baddies, effectively dehumanizing them (he's a psychopath- he would do anything to you, so you're justified in doing anything to him).

I disagree. It would never have entered my mind to do such a thing at age 22. These people rarely change; if you don't punish them severely, you're giving them an unfair advantage over honest people. We don't want to live in a society dominated by crooks.

Respectfully, I cannot see that what "would have entered your mind at the age of 22" has any bearing on your argument. The experience of one person (yourself) is not a valid basis for extrapolating blanket judgements of others, whether they're positive or negative. I'm not making a comment on your attitude towards severe punishment, more on your stated reasons for holding that attitude.

Re: A scammer stole $500 from me and in the end begged me not to tell his parents

#164
post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So you're saying that after being caught, he should have sent to the victim of his scam a picture of himself putting live cats in a blender? Just to avoid being seen like somebody that tries to look human, you know. In other words, in your view, if he doesn't look human then he's a psychopath; if he does, this proves again that he's a psychopath. Confirmation bias? Ah, by the way and just FYI, psychopaths and scammer…

"So you're saying that after being caught, he should have sent to the victim of his scam a picture of himself putting live cats in a blender? Just to avoid being seen like somebody that tries to look human, you know." Why would you even bother making this post? I can't imagine there is even like .0000001% of your being that believes that this is remotely close to what the person you're responding to thinks, so what e…

We should try not to devolve further into Redditness.

Re: A scammer stole $500 from me and in the end begged me not to tell his parents

#165
post #23
post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Telling the brother seems to have done the same function as telling the parents, since that's the point at which the behaviour changed.

Telling the brother showed that there was a threat. Not telling the parents showed that the threat was a bluff.

The message was sent to brother and mother simultaneously.

Re: A scammer stole $500 from me and in the end begged me not to tell his parents

#166
post #141
post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This the correct way to deal with criminals - it's not your call to decide if they're a minor, a psychopath etc.. This way society can deal with criminals, hopefully his parents will make an effort now. Had you not done all this work we'd be guaranteed to have one more criminal to incarcerate in the future.

It may be the correct way to deal with criminals in some situations, and it sounds like in this case it was. However, as individuals we can still decide that our code of ethics precludes us from involving the state in matters of petty crime, if we think the state's response may be disproportionately harsh. If we think the state is incorrect to classify marijuana was a class I drug, the same as heroine, for example, w…

The state is more consistent than our personal ethics and we should regularly exercise the system so that if unfair convictions start happening we can change the law or vote in new judges and district attorneys.

Re: A scammer stole $500 from me and in the end begged me not to tell his parents

#167
post #44

I have dealt with chronic liars before and I believe his apology is a scam too. He just wants you to go away so he can get back to business. He should be reported to police.

We should give this 22 year old man the respect he deserves by holding him accountable for his actions.

Re: A scammer stole $500 from me and in the end begged me not to tell his parents

#168
post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The author has 2 x $250, so $500 total. The scammer had spent $23.

Yes, but the story said the scammer wanted to repay Haschek with 1 card worth $477 (note that $477 is greater than $250, this will be important in the next sentence) and another card worth the difference. You can't add money to an Apple gift card after the initialization of the card. Therefore, the $477 card wasn't one of the 2 cards that the scammer scammed from Haschek. It was separate, and evidence of another crim…

And accepting it as payment would make him complicit in harboring stolen property.

Re: A scammer stole $500 from me and in the end begged me not to tell his parents

#169

A while back I was trying to buy a macbook online and while searching for cheap macbooks, I went down the rabbit hole that is Alibaba (here's an example of what I was talking about[1]). The seller claimed to be based in USA, had warehouses in Brazil and demanded that I pay via Western Union. After confirming all the details (via email). I decided to give it a shot. After sending him about $250 CAD (of the $500) he se…

theres a nigerian prince in need of your help

Re: A scammer stole $500 from me and in the end begged me not to tell his parents

#170
post #96
post #11

Tell his parents is precisely what you should do. That's what would lead to possible behavior change. Letting him get away with it validates the behavior and teaches that it's OK and he will be able to talk his way out of such things again. It does everyone a disservice to not tell his parents. The author got manipulated twice. First convinced to hand over his money and then convinced not to tell the parents. The sca…

Downvoted you. It's a big jump from "somebody, 22 yo, scammed somebody else online at least once" to "psychopath". To be frank, I think I wish the word "psychopath" was deleted from the dictionary altogether. It's just a handy label to apply to all sorts of baddies, effectively dehumanizing them (he's a psychopath- he would do anything to you, so you're justified in doing anything to him).

LOL. Downvoted you.

I don't agree with you that thievery should be legal.

Post reply on HN