Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

Post by mbfg » Fri, Sep 09, 2016, 8:27 AM UTC

QuarterReptile wrote: post #396

mbfg wrote: post #378

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i would never, ever ask another man out for lunch or coffee, just as i would never ever ask a woman out for lunch or coffee, and would equally decline if was asked. Work doesn't need to be about buddies. work is about work. That's why you have a personal life. keep the two separate. corollary #1: dear manager. I am not your friend, you are not my friend. i will never be your friend. Chances are i don't like you at al…

I'm guessing your way is most applicable when working a relatively low number of hours, like 35-40 weekly. Once you start pushing into 80-100 hours at work each week, being friendly starts to make more sense, if only to avoid going crazy from isolation.

Post by blub » Fri, Sep 09, 2016, 9:12 AM UTC

QuarterReptile wrote: post #396

mbfg wrote: post #378

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i would never, ever ask another man out for lunch or coffee, just as i would never ever ask a woman out for lunch or coffee, and would equally decline if was asked. Work doesn't need to be about buddies. work is about work. That's why you have a personal life. keep the two separate. corollary #1: dear manager. I am not your friend, you are not my friend. i will never be your friend. Chances are i don't like you at al…

I'm guessing your way is most applicable when working a relatively low number of hours, like 35-40 weekly. Once you start pushing into 80-100 hours at work each week, being friendly starts to make more sense, if only to avoid going crazy from isolation.

Post by Chris2048 » Fri, Sep 09, 2016, 9:32 AM UTC

throwanem wrote: post #306

__s wrote: post #268

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Shun women because if I casually mention saying something about having talked to a non male while my wife wasn't around the wife'll beat me. If I don't say anything about talking to non males then I'm hiding things, which never goes well if wife ever meets a non male coworker who doesn't describe me as super shy

There is a name for this. The name is isolation. Abusers do it. Mine did. Other things, too. I'm sure she still does. But not to me; I left. I can't help whoever's stuck with her now, and I'm sure there is someone. But I could help myself. Perhaps you could as well. Others helped me, too. Perhaps someone will do the same for you. If you want to hear from me, let me know, and I'll get in touch. You need not suffer thi…

Post by Chris2048 » Fri, Sep 09, 2016, 10:00 AM UTC

gwenzek wrote: post #312

Mz wrote: post #298

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that is a common experience for women. I find it really challenging to get men to engage me in meaningful, meaty discussion. Often, once they have, they suddenly are interested in a romantic liaison. It's maddening.

Lol, maybe the problem is not working among many males but among many single males craving for a girlfriend!

Post by Chris2048 » Fri, Sep 09, 2016, 10:17 AM UTC

Whitestrake wrote: post #317

cynoclast wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I personally think the heavy PR push towards women in code over the last couple of years It's not been 'the last few years' It's been about 30, now. I can remember them pushing when I was in elementary school. Also, it's a misnomer to call it '[gender] dominated'. Tech is largely female rejected . Just as most men reject teaching, nursing, or the social sciences. Those aren't female dominated either, but male reject…

It does seem to me that calling it female-rejected is a more accurate way of framing this topic. Addressing it this way doesn't diminish or invalidate the issues people have with this state of affairs. And it still allows people to constructively ask the question, when a desire to increase the diversity within tech workplaces is present: How do we make tech more attractive to females? "Male dominated" is, yes, techni…