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Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

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Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#111

Post by 20years »

zamalek wrote: post #94
20years wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My answers as a female. 1.) Not completely. This profession isn't appealing to a lot of women for many reasons outside of it being prominently male dominated. 2.) No 3.) In my early career I was always the only female on smaller male dominated teams. New male devs that came in initially automatically assumed I was administration. It only took a few days for them to realize what I did and all had total respect after.…

Personally I'm in agreement with the rhetoric that blames the interests that we expose our children to, this tweet[1] really sums up that whole situation (though I'm not so naive to think that this is alone to blame). Some more questions: 1. Did you have [what shouldn't be] atypical interests as a girl? 2. If yes, did other girls discriminate against you because of those interests? My thinking is that it's a compound…

GREAT additional questions. My answers may not be the popular sentiment but here they are.

1. No and never have. Other than interest in boys ;) But I also wasn't boy crazy like a lot of girls.

2. Other girls can't relate to me and I to them. I have a couple of very close girl friends that I have been friends with for a long time but I tend to mesh with men better.

I also have 4 sisters all of whom I am very close with. Not one of them have any desire to get into this profession.

Bottom line is many women just don't want to do this and for reasons that have nothing to do with it being a male dominated industry. Does that make it more difficult for the minority of women who are drawn to this profession? Yep! But trying to force more women into it is not the answer imo.

Also - I am not totally convinced it is because of the rhetoric we as females are exposed to. Yeah, that makes it hard for a lot of us that are not drawn to that type of stuff but I do believe many girls are. As an example: I have a 4 year old daughter. We do our best not to expose her to that but she is so drawn to girly things. It is in her DNA. My son on the other hand isn't and neither was I. I believe I am the minority though.

Women and Men are different and are drawn to different things. That is not a bad thing.

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#112

Post by 1q2w3e4r5t »

NTDF9 wrote: post #86
reitanqild wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This is a genuine question. How would it be unequal for males to start such a forum for anything they want? While I do care a lot I don't identify with the typical "SJW", so I think this should be perfectly OK, only very boring so I wouldn't create it.

Boring really? As a male who enjoys company of other males (not sexually), I have not found it boring at all. Mixed groups have definitely been socially better but I'd pick male mentoring forums any day. Boring isn't the first thing that comes to mind when I think of male-spaces. More like brotherhood, mentorship and competition.

Then start it. You're missing the point. Some people think that hearing from female engineers would benefit others. I (as a white, male, non-engineer) am one of them. That is the point of /this/. Start whatever group you want.

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#113

Post by enigmango »

MollyR wrote: post #24
houselouse wrote: post #19

> Invite women you work with for coffee No chance of this being misinterpreted. Invite women you work with for coffee and ask what they like or dislike about their day-to-day. If they mention concerns or problems they’re having, ask if there’s any way you could help make it better.

I agree. This is bad advice. If the whole team is going, sure, but as a woman this sounds like the setup to a date. Really hope guys reading this article, understand a lot of women are different, and to take what they are saying with a grain of salt.

Please correct me if I'm wrong - I think phrasing the request appropriately is a big part of this, and could mitigate a lot of potential misunderstanding. Something like:

"Would you be interested getting coffee sometime?"

Definitely sounds like a date setup to me, so framing it as (1) more immediate than a planned date, and (2) work related would be much better. Something more like:

"I'm going to grab some coffee in a minute, wanna join?” or "I'd like to discuss some work stuff with you, do you have time later today to chat over coffee?"

Again, these are just my initial thoughts so I'd be interested to hear if it doesn't actually make much of a difference.

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#114

Post by danso »

Swizec wrote: post #105
danso wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But people have histories and unsaid feelings and assumptions. It's not uncommon that a woman in a male-dominated field has found that she becomes a magnet for attention, such that anytime a man asks her for some one-on-one time she -- as unfair as it is to that particular man -- can't help but be guarded. And it has nothing to do with what that man, in this particular occasion, decides to say. I think it might be a…

Of course. Singling them out as "Hey you're different and don't belong, let me help you belong" starts you off on the wrong foot. Treat them like they already belong. As for it-might-look-like-a-date ... ask them to tag along for your mid-day coffee run. Don't ask them out for coffee on a Friday evening.

Yeah. In (short) retrospect, the thing that we're responding too -- the engineer who suggests we should ask them out for coffee -- is a bit strange and maybe missing context. I'm guessing during the interview, the question felt like it was asking for a concrete example, perhaps in a situation where coworkers have worked together for some time. I'd be surprised if anyone's idea of a good activity, when first joining a workplace, is: "Yeah ask me out to coffee and what I feel about being a _____ at my new company".

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#115

Post by NTDF9 »

hnbroseph wrote: post #110
NTDF9 wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> you seem stuck on the "can have" bit, which isn't really the point. Ok, so you wouldn't oppose if a man goes and creates a group called, "Ask a brogrammer?" brogrammer = funny slang for male programmers, not meant to offend anyone but to bring male humor to other males

"oppose"? no. though, to me "brogrammer" is a slightly derogatory term meaning a programmer with an "obnoxious frat guy" personality.

Understandable.

As a non-frat guy, I get what you are saying. Even then, I find the term 'brogrammer' hilarious. I think of it as humor for guys.

It's kinda like the series, "Vagina monologues". Many men find it offensive, but it's humorous too right?

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#116

Post by 1q2w3e4r5t »

crapolasplatter wrote: post #84
crapolasplatter wrote: post #54

“Ask a Female Engineer” Why leave other important engineering characteristics out? Are you fat,skinny,tall,short,ugly,pretty , white,or black? I really don't see the importance of sex in relations to engineering. Nor understand the desire to get more fat,skinny,tall,short,ugly,pretty , white, black , male or females involved in engineering.

For those that are down voting, care to expand on why? Or perhaps explain why the following characteristics are irrelevant or less important when it comes to engineering: fat,skinny,tall,short,ugly,pretty , white,or black?

I didn't down-vote you, but my guess is that others have because you're missing the point and your comment contributes nothing.

You write, "Why leave other important engineering characteristics out?" But no one is saying /only/ female engineers (or their perspectives) matter. They are not "leav[ing]" anything out. The creators of this think it will be beneficial to hear from female engineers. So that's what this is.

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#117

Post by zamalek »

20years wrote: post #111
zamalek wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Personally I'm in agreement with the rhetoric that blames the interests that we expose our children to, this tweet[1] really sums up that whole situation (though I'm not so naive to think that this is alone to blame). Some more questions: 1. Did you have [what shouldn't be] atypical interests as a girl? 2. If yes, did other girls discriminate against you because of those interests? My thinking is that it's a compound…

GREAT additional questions. My answers may not be the popular sentiment but here they are. 1. No and never have. Other than interest in boys ;) But I also wasn't boy crazy like a lot of girls. 2. Other girls can't relate to me and I to them. I have a couple of very close girl friends that I have been friends with for a long time but I tend to mesh with men better. I also have 4 sisters all of whom I am very close wit…

Thanks for the food for thought!

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#118

Post by rimantas »

bonoboTP wrote: post #46
rimantas wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So, let's play "roles reversed" game. Or maybe not. It is sad however, that you cannot even ask another human being for a cup of coffee.

"cup of coffee" is code for date. Plausible deniability and all. There are other ways to talk that are less ambiguous.

Ok, then what's the code for cup of coffee?

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#119

Post by rimantas »

hnbroseph wrote: post #85
rimantas wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So, let's play "roles reversed" game. Or maybe not. It is sad however, that you cannot even ask another human being for a cup of coffee.

it's also sad that you can't just call someone to netflix and chill....right?

No. I prefer to watch movies snd shows alone, so attention needs not to be divided.
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