Earlier quoted context omitted.
If a poor man is happy, who are you to tell him to get richer? For me, being in the same situation, my partner is often more company than I need or want. And I only see them on weekends.
"my partner" = "them"?????
Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
81–90 of 122 posts
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#82Earlier quoted context omitted.
Introvert is total bs. All those introverts are spending tons of time socializing online and then are burnt out once it comes to additional socializing outside of their phone.
Nope. I'm an introvert, I spend the vast majority of my time with my wife. I rarely talk to others at work, and I almost never comment or interact with anyone on social media. Talking to people in any medium is exhausting.
Out of curiosity, what is exhausting about it?
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#83Earlier quoted context omitted.
For us introverts, socializing is exhausting in a way that's very different from being physically tired or just sleepy. For me, it's a similar sort of exhaustion that comes from doing a tedious task for a long time. The kind of exhaustion you might experience if you had to write the same sentence out on a piece of paper by hand a thousand times. Wouldn't you think twice before signing up for such an experience? I oft…
Introvert is total bs. All those introverts are spending tons of time socializing online and then are burnt out once it comes to additional socializing outside of their phone.
Socializing online is easier for me, since I can end it under my control. walking away from an online conversation is much less jarring to the other party because it's expected that real life will intrude on the other end.
The downside is that deeper friendships take longer to form, but for this introvert, that's fine.
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#84Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#85Earlier quoted context omitted.
> as long as someone wanted to spend time with me, and they were nice enough, and we could find something to do together that we enjoyed, like watching a movie, playing a game, or just hang out and talk about something (usually meaningless), that would be enough. But the things you described are meaningful. Watching movies, playing games, and spending precious time doing "pointless" things are what life is about, in…
> That is, assuming you want friends. I thought that the point was that he didn't.
I got the impression that he was rationalizing being anti-social, i.e. "I'm too good for them anyway."
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#86Earlier quoted context omitted.
> That is, assuming you want friends. I thought that the point was that he didn't.
I got the impression that he was rationalizing being anti-social, i.e. "I'm too good for them anyway."
That wasn't implied. He only said he lost interest in his friends.
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#87Earlier quoted context omitted.
> That is, assuming you want friends. I thought that the point was that he didn't.
I got the impression that he was rationalizing being anti-social, i.e. "I'm too good for them anyway."
It's not about who's better than whom. It's about incompatibility. Most people are interested in things I'm not interested in, and the things I am interested in aren't interesting to most people. They want to do or talk about what I don't, and I want to do or talk about things they don't.
I've just come to realize my fundamental incompatibility with most of the people who I considered friends in the past. That doesn't mean that I feel I'm better than them in any way, just that we're not compatible.
So I'd rather just be by myself -- as, except in my darkest moods, I'm pretty compatible with myself.
That doesn't mean that I don't ever crave a deep, meaningful connection with others, and I have achieved that (though very rarely) before, but as I'm not very social, that's pretty hard for me to do.. not to mention that there are always prices to pay (from time and effort invested in finding/cultivating the relationship, to the pain and suffering when it ends, privacy/independence costs, etc), so most of the time I really don't want to bother. So much easier and safer to just curl up by myself with a good book in the evening.
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#88Earlier quoted context omitted.
I got the impression that he was rationalizing being anti-social, i.e. "I'm too good for them anyway."
It's not about who's better than whom. It's about incompatibility. Most people are interested in things I'm not interested in, and the things I am interested in aren't interesting to most people. They want to do or talk about what I don't, and I want to do or talk about things they don't. I've just come to realize my fundamental incompatibility with most of the people who I considered friends in the past. That doesn'…
I think your response is more a critique of the system of control we live under. You can never truly connect with people anymore, only through cheap channels (mainly walled gardens) that trivialize friendship to begin with.
Friendship as a word had more meaning before the advent of social media. Now it's become depersonalized: followers, Facebook/Instagram friends, Snapchat followers, Tinder pseudo-relationships, etc.
I've found the walled gardens to be the main problem. When I hopped on my Pentium II with my 28.8k modem, I met some of the most interesting people in the world. I still communicate with some to this day, but it's harder and harder to discover new friendships past a certain age.
I'd say your solution might be found in a different environment - perhaps a different state or country?
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#89Earlier quoted context omitted.
>started to notice how little I had in common with the people I spent time with What do you mean by this, specifically? I've wrestled with the idea of finding people I have more "in common with," but I've ended up at a place where I think the idea of "best friends" is kind of an overblown myth, or at least it's a LOT rarer than people think it is. What's the fun in hanging out with someone who's the same as you, anyw…
> What do you mean by this, specifically? Well, I guess I can elaborate a bit. I have a bunch of obscure interests, and most people haven't even heard of them, much less share them or are nearly as interested in them as I am. I used to be ok with that, and would hang out with people who would want to talk about and do things that I have absolutely no interest in, but after a while I realized that I was wasting my tim…
I have to say you've really piqued my interest. What are some of the obscure things you're interested in?
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#90I moved out from Bay Area, where I had tons of friends. I would go out every other night to hang out with my friends. Talk about startups and upcoming tech stuff and lots of beer off course. But then I found myself in a loop, same old routine. I decided to move some other state, where I am complete stranger. Its been 5 years since I left. Do I get lonely? Off course I do. I would be lying if I won't. But, I don't get…
Where did you move and why that place?