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Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social

nautil.us

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Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social

#21

Post by unabst »

Swizec wrote: post #3

I miss being alone so much I could cry. It wasn't long ago that I could get up in the morning to my empty apartment, stay in my apartment all day (I worked from home), and only see people when I felt like it. Throwing massive parties for 50+ people every month or so works amazingly well for both socialization and increasing your social standing. Nowadays I work from an office with a bunch of other people around me at…

> Sure I love her and I definitely can't afford my own rent

I know it's none of my business, but even if it's somewhere tiny or far, getting your own place might be the best thing you've ever done... Just throwing it out there. (It is my strong conviction that love and rent should not be in the same sentence.)

Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social

#22

Post by wastedhours »

Swizec wrote: post #3

I miss being alone so much I could cry. It wasn't long ago that I could get up in the morning to my empty apartment, stay in my apartment all day (I worked from home), and only see people when I felt like it. Throwing massive parties for 50+ people every month or so works amazingly well for both socialization and increasing your social standing. Nowadays I work from an office with a bunch of other people around me at…

Agree with the point that being surrounded by people at work (who I've tried to connect with, but share little in common with than work-related humour) makes me less inclined to push myself socially. It's just too damn exhausting. London's supposed to be one of the best cities for "things", but my social tank is running flat after another day at work, but which contributes to loneliness.

Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social

#23

Post by mhurron »

whoozhat wrote: post #14
nibs wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My fiance is extremely introverted. We eventually realized that she needed this "apartment to myself" feeling at least once a week in order to function in the real world and do the extrovert obligations she needed to do. So we instituted "introvert time", where I work late until around 10PM and leave our place to her for about five hours after she gets home. This is enough for her to take the time to walk around undr…

curious... what are you guys gonna do when you have kids?

Why do you act like they have to?

Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social

#24

Post by LeanderK »

120bits wrote: post #15

I moved out from Bay Area, where I had tons of friends. I would go out every other night to hang out with my friends. Talk about startups and upcoming tech stuff and lots of beer off course. But then I found myself in a loop, same old routine. I decided to move some other state, where I am complete stranger. Its been 5 years since I left. Do I get lonely? Off course I do. I would be lying if I won't. But, I don't get…

well, as always, this is generalisation and individual experiences may vary ;) (is this grammatically correct?).

This is not a critique of your argument, but most of the time if discuss these kind of articles (or general psychological things) there are always counterexamples. This is the real world, not math.

Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social

#25

Post by et-al »

Swizec wrote: post #3

I miss being alone so much I could cry. It wasn't long ago that I could get up in the morning to my empty apartment, stay in my apartment all day (I worked from home), and only see people when I felt like it. Throwing massive parties for 50+ people every month or so works amazingly well for both socialization and increasing your social standing. Nowadays I work from an office with a bunch of other people around me at…

> When I come home, there's my girlfriend. Sure I love her and I definitely can't afford my own rent, but sometimes I just wish I could come home to an empty apartment, you know?

This may be naïve, but have you and her talked about this? I understand it may be possible for her to interpret wrong, but it sounds like something that you two can work out without needing to rent a separate apartment.

Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social

#26

Post by benologist »

whoozhat wrote: post #14
nibs wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My fiance is extremely introverted. We eventually realized that she needed this "apartment to myself" feeling at least once a week in order to function in the real world and do the extrovert obligations she needed to do. So we instituted "introvert time", where I work late until around 10PM and leave our place to her for about five hours after she gets home. This is enough for her to take the time to walk around undr…

curious... what are you guys gonna do when you have kids?

He currently works overtime to give her time alone. Only thing that changes is work stops solving the problem of how to be out of the house.

Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social

#27

Post by throwaway_java »

alexmorenodev wrote: post #20

About living alone: There's a huge difference between being alone because you want to, and being alone by lack of choice. At first time I lived alone in my hometown it feels marvelous. I can study, work or bring anyone I want to my home without nobody pissing me off about whatever I do. Nice. But I tried the same living in São Paulo and I felt absolutely depressed. Reason? Simple: Lack of company when I want to. At m…

that's the difference between solitude and loneliness. Sometimes you need solitude.

Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social

#29

Post by lucb1e »

LeanderK wrote: post #24
120bits wrote: post #15

I moved out from Bay Area, where I had tons of friends. I would go out every other night to hang out with my friends. Talk about startups and upcoming tech stuff and lots of beer off course. But then I found myself in a loop, same old routine. I decided to move some other state, where I am complete stranger. Its been 5 years since I left. Do I get lonely? Off course I do. I would be lying if I won't. But, I don't get…

well, as always, this is generalisation and individual experiences may vary ;) (is this grammatically correct?). This is not a critique of your argument, but most of the time if discuss these kind of articles (or general psychological things) there are always counterexamples. This is the real world, not math.

Since you asked for feedback:

> this is generalisation

Should be: "this is a generalization". It's understandable though.

> This is not a critique of your argument

Again understandable, but should be something like "I am not criticizing your argument".

The rest is correct I think. Hope I got everything right, I'm not a native speaker either :)

Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social

#30

Post by riprock »

zappo2938 wrote: post #13

I only feel lonely when I'm with people.

This resonates a lot with me. Whenever I participate in a social gathering there are already long-established "cliques" and they just talk among themselves. I feel this especially at wedding receptions -- I find myself awkwardly walking around while everyone is chatting, and I'm just wasting time until I feel ready to make my irish exit.
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