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Fighting Cancer

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Re: Fighting Cancer

#101

Post by 6stringmerc »

karmajunkie wrote: post #11

This is a really important read. Nobody really gets terminal illness until you're either terminally ill, or right on the fringe of it. Even those of us who are one degree away from it only have the vaguest notion of it. It seems like something on the order of 30% of human prose ever written struggles with this notion of mortality [1], yet very few words are devoted to how to care about someone who is terminally ill,…

That might be your perspective but after being in hospitals and treatment for a lifetime condition, I saw enough of my peers die by the age of 10 that I think I have a pretty good handle on mortality. It's just a very uncomfortable subject, which I think hinges on our species not knowing "what happens" after the body dies. Well, there are lots of claims and plenty of options by way of choosing a faith, but I'm fairly certain we simply don't know.

Re: Fighting Cancer

#102

Post by muddyrivers »

dragonwriter wrote: post #99
muddyrivers wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As an immigrant who come to America in my 20's, I never fully understand this. I saw people who asked a person who just experienced extreme difficult situations, "are you ok?". Apparently she was not ok. Her husband just passed away and they had two young children. Nobody would be ok unless she is completely heartless. Other sayings, like "it will be fine", "everything will be ok", etc.

> I saw people who asked a person who just experienced extreme difficult situations, "are you ok?". Apparently she was not ok. Her husband just passed away and they had two young children. In American culture, this use of "Are you okay?" is not at all literal . It is a polite and well-understood way of opening a dialogue in which the other party can detail the problems stemming from the situation under discussion (im…

Thank you very much for the explanation. That clears my confusion.

Re: Fighting Cancer

#103

Post by petewailes »

milesf wrote: post #81

I lost both my parents last year to cancer. Both were Christians, and so am I. I know many people find Christianity and the subject of faith to be uncomfortable, even offensive. But that's because the Christian message _is_ offensive. It makes claims that exclude all other options, that evil is real and that we are responsible for it. To me, either the message is true or it isn't. There is no grey. Either Jesus Chris…

You're really in the wrong place if you think this is going to go down well. You might want to give the guy some respect and not espouse religious views here.

Re: Fighting Cancer

#104

Post by PieterH »

shanacarp wrote: post #82

First, for the general Reader: Outside of really breast/ovarian cancer, getting most common cancers at a young age is fairly within your control. http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/06/upshot/helpless-to-prevent... Pieter doesn't have a common cancer and he's way beyond that stage within stage IV cancer. In general it's really rude to say "fight more" because he's right, what do you think these patients are doing instead,…

I've no specific distrust of marijuana as a pain killer and appetite booster during chemo. If oil/butter was readily available I'd be using it rather than opiates. I'm not going to smoke marijuana because it's hard enough to breathe already (the metastasis is filling my lungs up). Yet I'd have to get it illegally here. While Belgium is ahead in some areas, it lags in others.

Paperwork... is just work. I've a complex situation, made worse by some, let's say, recalcitrant spirits. No pity for the dying, in some quarters. The summer months in Belgium are dead, which makes it harder to reach the necessary people. I do appreciate the offer of help though :-)

Re: Fighting Cancer

#105

Post by PieterH »

Kenji wrote: post #78

Unfortunately, despite what this article says, there is a choice between fighting cancer or not: The best way to give up is stopping to eat (which probably isn't that hard if things like chemotherapy and severe illness pretty much remove any feelings of hunger).

Oh there are lots of ways to give up. I could refuse palliative chemotherapy, stop eating, overdose on opiates, drink a large glass of scotch together with my drugs, and so on. Yet when people say "you must fight" they don't generally mean, "take your meds and eat two full meals a day, and try to feel positive!"

Re: Fighting Cancer

#106

Post by X86BSD »

darod wrote: post #74

I found out I had colorectal cancer 4 years ago at 33. It was a shock because I go to the gym 4-5 times a week and taught brazilian jiu jitsu nightly. There no living right or living wrong prescription that will spare you. It can catch anyone at any time just like the author states. Aside from dealing with the disease, one of the biggest issues I found was disbursing information and managing the emotions of my friend…

THIS. First I am very sorry to hear about your condition. I sincerely wish you all the best in dealing with the scourge of cancer.

Second, I can't backup your statement enough. Cancer is not related to diet or exercise, not one bit. Steve jobs got it and he lived on a vegetarian diet and lived a pretty zen lifestyle at home.

Not a human, but my dog who was an inside dog rarely went out except to do her business, and got skin cancer a few months ago. This totally blew my mind because I thought you only got that from over exposure to UV. When the vet told me it was probably genetic I was really schooled at that moment.

With all the radio waves, and microwaves blasting us 24x7, toxins in our food and water, it honest to god, matters not one bit how you eat or what lifestyle you choose to follow, cancer can get anyone at any time for any reason. I do not believe diet or healthy lifestyle make any difference on wether you get a cancer or not.

If it does make a difference I believe it is negligible.

P.S. FU$% Cancer!

Re: Fighting Cancer

#108

Post by Double_Cast »

omginternets wrote: post #48
beachstartup wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i also hate saying and hearing platitudes, but recognize that it's only because people don't know what else to say. by telling them about this unfortunate situation, you're kind of putting them into that position. these days i only tell my problems to people who have the ability to do something about it, or my closest friends who will commiserate without offering useless responses.

I have to agree with this. People can't be expected to know what every individual would prefer to hear in every conceivable circumstance. Platitudes are often an oblique way of saying "I empathize and I wish you the best" while not being discouraging. Actually saying the above might be preferable, but it's unfair to criticize the gesture, I think. If I mention this, it's because I think there are parallels to be draw…

It's absolutely fair to criticize the gesture. You know how SJW's tell outsiders to check their privilege when they make the discussion about themselves? Platitudes similarly make the discussion about themselves instead of the cancer patient. "Fight it." Wow, you're so optimistic! "Eat more fruit." You're so knowledgeable! Since you're a certified nutritionist, am I eating enough Quinoa?

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/12/funeral.html

> (...) The hyena is caught awkwardly, so he rests his paws on the woman's shoulders, and now the sobbing woman must associate her last chance to be with what is left of her father with the stale breath of a sycophant waiting for his moment to be relevant.

> And while that's going on others are whispering to the quivering back of her coat, "oh, I'm so sorry", "I'm sure he really loved you", "are you ok?"

> Why did any one of them think they had the power, the right, to interfere with another person's mourning? This was between her and her father and God and no one else. Did no one notice that even the husband had given her space? Did they just think he was being a jerk? "I just wanted to comfort her." No, you didn't know what else to do, so you did that. "I didn't want her to be alone." That's because you are a terrible person.

I.e. the woman struggled to spend her last moments with her father while the surrounding mourners (each vying for her attention) entered a pissing-contest to prove who had more empathy.

Re: Fighting Cancer

#109

Post by mhurron »

melling wrote: post #79
mhurron wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm optimistic that by 2050, we'll be much better off. In the meantime, 7-10 million worldwide will die every year from cancer That's sort of how progress and improvements work, they benefit those that come later. > We're racing to get self-driving cars to save a lot fewer people And those people working on cars are probably don't have the skills or drive to deal with medical research. That not everyone on the plan…

No one said people should switch jobs. You are filling in the wrong blanks. Thinking outside the box doesn't come easy for you?

And what other meaning does "We're racing to get self-driving cars to save a lot fewer people" have in this context?

Re: Fighting Cancer

#110

Post by gozur88 »

pessimizer wrote: post #89
Retric wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think it's completely plausible for a single patient or small group of patients to arrive at a more patient-focused conclusion than the medical industry. Try other things and odds are very good your going to make things worse and get many people killed. Yet, some people still don't use seat belts because of those tiny odds it's going to make things worse. Let's avoid vaccines, buy guns, and go vegan because clear…

No - I've heard that if you eat exactly the right things, move in exactly the right ways, think exactly the right thoughts, and carefully control your breathing, you can live forever and never die. You can detect when you're in this state through visual inspection of your excrement, an inner feeling of subtle warmth radiating from the stomach or chest, a clearness of mind, and a feeling of being a conduit through whi…

There used to be a comedian (can't remember who) who joked "All those people who ate right, exercised, and got plenty of sleep are gonna be awful embarrassed when they die of nothing."

People believe this kind of stuff on an emotional level because they can't face their own mortality. I have a theory this is why we're so interested in how other people die. It's so we can disconnect other people's deaths with our own - "I don't have to worry about dying that way because I eat plenty of vegetables/don't smoke/don't drink/don't associate with violent people and therefore I don't have to think about dying."

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