Fighting Cancer • Hacker News Board

Re: Fighting Cancer

#71

Post by godshatter » Mon, Aug 22, 2016, 3:39 PM UTC

beachstartup wrote: post #41

Practicality wrote: post #33

Just an interesting related tangent here: My father in law is dying of heart disease (will probably die in People see me upset and the first thing they say is he will get better, or, it will be ok. When I explain the situation, it's something like, "oh, well, I just KNOW he will get better. Don't worry" What? In case you are wondering: He has already had open heart 2 years ago, 4 of 5 arteries are completely blocked…

i also hate saying and hearing platitudes, but recognize that it's only because people don't know what else to say. by telling them about this unfortunate situation, you're kind of putting them into that position. these days i only tell my problems to people who have the ability to do something about it, or my closest friends who will commiserate without offering useless responses.

I saw this first hand when my dad was dying. Now I respond to people who tell me about a loved one who is dying with something like "I'm sorry, how's he holding out?" or "I'm sorry. If there is anything I can do to help, let me know." The last one means, essentially, if you need someone to have a beer with so you can release what's been bottled up, I'm here for you.

The first couple of times I received platitudes, it irked me. Later I realized they were just trying to make me feel better and took it for what it was. Not everyone has gone through this, either themselves or with a loved one.

Re: Fighting Cancer

#72

Post by okket » Mon, Aug 22, 2016, 3:40 PM UTC

reactor wrote: post #56

Very sensible read, just one question, he mentioned "avoid junk foods, especially sugar", is sugar that bad for causing cancer?

There is no direct link, but sugar certainly does not help to prevent cancer. Too many calories is a real, world wide problem by now:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidemiology_of_obesity

Re: Fighting Cancer

#73

Post by Practicality » Mon, Aug 22, 2016, 3:48 PM UTC

yaakov34 wrote: post #55

WoodenChair wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Okay, I hate to pile on to the advice section. Actually this is not advice, but just a random tip from a random person. I read a book this year that has several anecdotes of people in similar situations to your father-in-law. The doctor who wrote it is radical and outside of the mainstream. Yet, the things he writes make a ton of sense when you have nothing else to lose. It's a short read, and his clinical results sp…

How about you think about what you just said for a minute. How is this a situation of "nothing to lose"? You are talking about an extremely sick person who, based on the fact that he has extremely advanced heart disease, probably has a lot of difficulty just being there for his family, and trying to put his affairs in order. Do you think he has the time and capacity to go on an "extreme diet" on the strength of "why…

True. Similar to cancer, most people don't consider the fact that the severe constant pain he is in (his heart is starved for oxygen) and the weakness and exhaustion is a severe hindrance.

That and at this point facing the reality of his own impending death, suddenly concerns for your family become paramount. His one daughter is still living at home (although she is 19 so that won't be a long-term issue).

He's a tough guy though, so he really is trying to do all of the above anyway. I think that is why so many believe he cannot die. If willpower was the only thing that mattered he would live forever.

Re: Fighting Cancer

#74

Post by darod » Mon, Aug 22, 2016, 3:48 PM UTC

I found out I had colorectal cancer 4 years ago at 33. It was a shock because I go to the gym 4-5 times a week and taught brazilian jiu jitsu nightly. There no living right or living wrong prescription that will spare you. It can catch anyone at any time just like the author states.

Aside from dealing with the disease, one of the biggest issues I found was disbursing information and managing the emotions of my friends and family. Everyone has questions on your daily status and a few think they can come in a provide the superman holistic miracle that will spare you from death. It's tough to balance it all.

Like the author, I hate this notion of "fighting cancer". Norm MacDonald sums it up best. http://www.cc.com/video-clips/8kgu68/stand-up-norm-macdonald...

Re: Fighting Cancer

#75

Post by baldfat » Mon, Aug 22, 2016, 3:49 PM UTC

My son fought for almost 5 years (Ages 7-12).

The outpouring of support was unbelievable. People I didn't know would do amazing things for my son and family. I saw this boy with one of the saddest stories (He was adopted) and a broken spirit before cancer became a amazing young man in the midst of his slow painful death.

His own biological family did very little during this time. Father murdered his mother less then a year after his diagnosis and family and close friends just didn't come around after a few months, "To painful to visit." I would flip out! Then I realized you just get to find out who is a true friend and family. So some will leave people high and dry others will see you all the way through.

Re: Fighting Cancer

#76

Post by yaakov34 » Mon, Aug 22, 2016, 3:49 PM UTC

1123581321 wrote: post #67

yaakov34 wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is also this commonly held notion that if you "live right", with healthy habits, food, and exercise, you will live to 98 in perfect health, and probably die of an instant heart attack while in bed with a young lover. It's of course true that obesity and lack of exercise increase health risks at all ages, but that risk was never going to be 0. The notion that I mentioned basically makes health problems into a mo…

It is a fact that lifestyle affects likelihood and progression of heart disease. Rare cases that end life early for genetic reasons do not change this. It is unfortunate that some people assume all early heart problems are avoidable, but only because sharing an opinion is unnecessary, not because the assumption is likely wrong. The morality of not taking care of oneself is subjective, of course. Edit: I should say I…

It is a fact that the effect exists, but I think that you are also victim to the popular idea that this effect is extremely powerful or even overwhelming, making "taking care of yourself" a powerful morality tale. Here is a quote from a large study:

"having a BMI between 30 and 35 shortened life by an average of 0–1 years, having a BMI between 35 and 40 shortened life by 1–3 years, and having a BMI above 40 shortened life by 1–7 years"

(This is easily googlable, I don't want to turn this message into a journal article)

Note that the error bars on the effect are quite large (1 to 7 years even for extreme obesity). Now it's true that a lot of things hide in an "average", and there is a lot to discuss here, and I am definitely not discouraging anybody from acquiring healthy habits and lifestyle, but... it's just not a simple story of reward for virtue and punishment for sins. Genetic factors which we have no control over probably have a greater effect. Which is not a story that people want to hear.

Re: Fighting Cancer

#77

Post by incanus77 » Mon, Aug 22, 2016, 3:56 PM UTC

ciconia wrote: post #23

I've just saw my father die of cancer a week ago. Fortunately, he did this at home and was cared for by his own family, right to the end. I wouldn't describe this experience as sad or tragic. We knew for a while that the moment was coming. I was lucky enough to be with my dad when he took his last breath, and to have been able to say goodbye. I learned a lot about what to do and what not to do in the face of imminent…

Similar experience here. My otherwise perfectly healthy, vegan, athletic wife died of sporadic metastatic pancreatic cancer four months ago at age 36. She battled it for five months after discovery (this is how pancreatic cancer often works), and although it was an incredibly tough struggle, the fact that we both had lived with no regrets and taken the opportunities available to us (and made some new ones) helped when her time finally came. Although she was very ill the whole time, everything "at the end" happened inside of about four days. I didn't know until hours before that it actually was the end, and I'm not sure she ever did. But having lived well until that point somehow made it easier.

We knew it was terminal almost immediately from the outset, with a prognosis of a year if we were lucky, and we fought it with guns blazing the whole way while balancing a good quality of life during those months. In some small way, the duration of her fight was a blessing compared to some other cases I've heard (less than a month from diagnosis to death, or a terrible quality of life for a year or two).

Just as with my grieving now, everyone's handling of their own and their loved ones' preparedness for death is different and based on their own unique circumstances. I am glad that Pieter has shared his.

Re: Fighting Cancer

#78

Post by Kenji » Mon, Aug 22, 2016, 4:01 PM UTC

Unfortunately, despite what this article says, there is a choice between fighting cancer or not: The best way to give up is stopping to eat (which probably isn't that hard if things like chemotherapy and severe illness pretty much remove any feelings of hunger).

Re: Fighting Cancer

#79

Post by melling » Mon, Aug 22, 2016, 4:02 PM UTC

mhurron wrote: post #30

melling wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're giving me anecdotal information that spans over 20-30 years? Yeah, I'm optimistic that by 2050, we'll be much better off. In the meantime, 7-10 million worldwide will die every year from cancer. We're racing to get self-driving cars to save a lot fewer people.

> I'm optimistic that by 2050, we'll be much better off. In the meantime, 7-10 million worldwide will die every year from cancer That's sort of how progress and improvements work, they benefit those that come later. > We're racing to get self-driving cars to save a lot fewer people And those people working on cars are probably don't have the skills or drive to deal with medical research. That not everyone on the plan…

No one said people should switch jobs. You are filling in the wrong blanks. Thinking outside the box doesn't come easy for you?

Re: Fighting Cancer

#80

Post by PieterH » Mon, Aug 22, 2016, 4:03 PM UTC

echelon wrote: post #65

reactor wrote: post #56

Very sensible read, just one question, he mentioned "avoid junk foods, especially sugar", is sugar that bad for causing cancer?

I hear this coming from a multitude of sources too. If true, is simple sugar metabolism oncogenic? What is the mechanism?

I'm aware of no evidence that sugar, as such, causes cancer directly. However excessive use (which means 'normal' consumption in our society) definitely damages your immune system and other systems. This cannot be helpful when fighting any disease.