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How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

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Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#101

Post by xkcd-sucks »

karlmcguire wrote: post #95
owenversteeg wrote: post #70

Personally, I don't think that having healthy relationships as a developer is much different than having healthy relationships as anyone else. As with any other technical job, it can be hard to explain exactly what your job is, but a bit of humor and an ELI5-style explanation goes a long way. One thing specific to programmers is the ability to whip up a little program to help people. Someone spends an hour every day…

Author here, I agree to an extent. As I said in the "Spend Time With Them" section, a lot of developers also program as their hobby. In fact, you pretty much have to program in your free time in order to keep up with all the new paradigms and frameworks. Jobs that have been around a lot longer, like construction or accounting, allow you to just leave your work when you go home. In that way I think developers face a u…

>In fact, you pretty much have to program in your free time in order to keep up with all the new paradigms and frameworks

Lol no. If I'm coding it's not free time, and if I'm coding to learn it's professional development, not recreation. "Coding is a lifestyle" is such a scam.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#102

Post by ceit »

xkcd-sucks wrote: post #101
karlmcguire wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Author here, I agree to an extent. As I said in the "Spend Time With Them" section, a lot of developers also program as their hobby. In fact, you pretty much have to program in your free time in order to keep up with all the new paradigms and frameworks. Jobs that have been around a lot longer, like construction or accounting, allow you to just leave your work when you go home. In that way I think developers face a u…

>In fact, you pretty much have to program in your free time in order to keep up with all the new paradigms and frameworks Lol no. If I'm coding it's not free time, and if I'm coding to learn it's professional development, not recreation. "Coding is a lifestyle" is such a scam.

User name xkcd-sucks. Not a fan of coding for fun.

Hackathons? Have you ever just wanted to write a web scraper in a new language to see how it is different from your usual? Never coded a small video game?

Why are you a programmer then?

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#103

Post by aninhumer »

Philipp__ wrote: post #60
Jean-Philipe wrote: post #43

> Call your grandma, friend, dad, girlfriend, anyone A bit offtopic, but the author seems to assume you are a straight coder guy. This was probably not his intention though. Why not replace "girlfriend" by something more neutral, like "your better half"? Being inclusive doesn't cost much, really.

I think everybody got the point. The dude was writting blog about keeping healthy social life, not sexuality. If we keep splitting it to atoms, it would be pretty distracting experience for writter of any blog post. Being a little bit inclusive doesn't cost much, but it could cost a lot if you go by your logic for every other thing...

If you get used to writing in inclusive terms, these changes don't cost anything. They're just how you naturally express ideas, and exclusive terms feel unnaturally specific.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#104

Post by JustSomeNobody »

bowmessage wrote: post #2

What's it like to date / be married to another programmer? I've always wondered if this would help or hinder the relationship.

My wife and I are both devs. It's, for the most part, no different than any other relationship; you get out of it what you put into it. One thing I did (am still trying to?) learn is that sometimes she wants me to be a rubber duck instead of actually helping her solve a problem. I try to anticipate a point in the conversation when I can ask which I'm supposed to be.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#105

Post by swampthinker »

xkcd-sucks wrote: post #101
karlmcguire wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Author here, I agree to an extent. As I said in the "Spend Time With Them" section, a lot of developers also program as their hobby. In fact, you pretty much have to program in your free time in order to keep up with all the new paradigms and frameworks. Jobs that have been around a lot longer, like construction or accounting, allow you to just leave your work when you go home. In that way I think developers face a u…

>In fact, you pretty much have to program in your free time in order to keep up with all the new paradigms and frameworks Lol no. If I'm coding it's not free time, and if I'm coding to learn it's professional development, not recreation. "Coding is a lifestyle" is such a scam.

And you're entitled to your opinion. But there are definitely a pool of developers out there that enjoy programming as a hobby.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#106

Post by heurist »

microcolonel wrote: post #6
pikachu_is_cool wrote: post #3

I sometimes wonder how much my life would be different if I never got into this. Programming is such a big part of my life now. I frequently consider how much of my brain power goes to programming; and I have to say it's about 20%. If there were five of me, one of them would basically be a computer. I wonder what that fifth of my brain would have been thinking about for the past 10 years, if not programming. Maybe it…

I think it's easy to imagine that we could have been something else; but I suspect that programming, or something substantially similar to it, is probably the only thing you'd be happy with.

Personally, I always felt that if I'd been born 50 years earlier law, architecture, and mathematics would have been good alternatives. I've also been taking painting classes for a couple years and have found great logical structure and consistency in it despite the creative freedom it provides.

Art is art!

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#107

Post by msvalkon »

ceit wrote: post #102
xkcd-sucks wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>In fact, you pretty much have to program in your free time in order to keep up with all the new paradigms and frameworks Lol no. If I'm coding it's not free time, and if I'm coding to learn it's professional development, not recreation. "Coding is a lifestyle" is such a scam.

User name xkcd-sucks. Not a fan of coding for fun. Hackathons? Have you ever just wanted to write a web scraper in a new language to see how it is different from your usual? Never coded a small video game? Why are you a programmer then?

I'm a programmer because I enjoy it, my employer seems to value the results and I am relatively well compensated for my time.

We should really make an effort to try to accommodate the people in the programming profession who do not want to spend their free time coding on projects. Programming is very, very enjoyable (to me), but I have a family with which I want to spend as much time as possible. Do I want to write a web-scraper in rust in my free time? Sure it sounds like a nice exercise. Would I rather spend that time with my kids? Yes.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#108

Post by driusan »

cel1ne wrote: post #47
rjbwork wrote: post #36

>Our brains automatically group similar memories together in order to save space. As developers, years can feel like weeks if we don’t actively pursue different experiences. This hit me hard. Feels like the years have just slipped on by since I graduated university. Not particularly sure how to stop it though...maybe a few more years and I can just take a few months off and travel or something?

I do exhausting sports almost everyday (martial arts). Two hours if sweating put your mind in a very different state. Music is good as well. Anything that starts up other brain areas than "watching" and "reading".

That's odd, because in the martial arts I do (aikido), I've always been amazed by how similar of a state it puts you into: trying to get into the zone, concentrate on what you're doing right now, and block any other distractions.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#109

Post by cwarrior »

ceit wrote: post #102
xkcd-sucks wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>In fact, you pretty much have to program in your free time in order to keep up with all the new paradigms and frameworks Lol no. If I'm coding it's not free time, and if I'm coding to learn it's professional development, not recreation. "Coding is a lifestyle" is such a scam.

User name xkcd-sucks. Not a fan of coding for fun. Hackathons? Have you ever just wanted to write a web scraper in a new language to see how it is different from your usual? Never coded a small video game? Why are you a programmer then?

Cause it pays well, and it's relatively easy.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#110

Post by NinjaTrappeur »

rjbwork wrote: post #36

>Our brains automatically group similar memories together in order to save space. As developers, years can feel like weeks if we don’t actively pursue different experiences. This hit me hard. Feels like the years have just slipped on by since I graduated university. Not particularly sure how to stop it though...maybe a few more years and I can just take a few months off and travel or something?

Have you tried any other creative activity (writing, filmaking, painting, etc…)? It is quite cheap to do and as rewarding as software writing.
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