How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer • Hacker News Board

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#11

Post by kayman » Tue, Aug 09, 2016, 5:44 AM UTC

pikachu_is_cool wrote: post #3

I sometimes wonder how much my life would be different if I never got into this. Programming is such a big part of my life now. I frequently consider how much of my brain power goes to programming; and I have to say it's about 20%. If there were five of me, one of them would basically be a computer. I wonder what that fifth of my brain would have been thinking about for the past 10 years, if not programming. Maybe it…

In what other field do you have so much control and freedom to create?

No matter how much someone directs you on how to program something, you always have that little bit of wiggle room to add your own creativity to it.

Programming is like art. The coding is the medium. The thoughts and solutions, when it all works together, just feels right.

My job when it goes into stuff other than programming, I find myself coding at night to feel that structure, control, creativity and freedom all rolled into one.

Most other fields don't offer that.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#12

Post by liquidise » Tue, Aug 09, 2016, 5:46 AM UTC

pikachu_is_cool wrote: post #3

I sometimes wonder how much my life would be different if I never got into this. Programming is such a big part of my life now. I frequently consider how much of my brain power goes to programming; and I have to say it's about 20%. If there were five of me, one of them would basically be a computer. I wonder what that fifth of my brain would have been thinking about for the past 10 years, if not programming. Maybe it…

This is well put. I've thought the same many times, and it is so hard to reason. Programming, at it most basic, is an expression of creativity. Lacking programming i would crave another outlet. But programming for years quite literally changes the way you think about problems, so it is hard to say what you would be like without it.

I suppose cooking might have actually been the best avenue. I find that the more i cook the more i draw parallels. It's quite associative and borderline object-oriented. I watch cooking shows where a dish is mentioned and the chef immediately starts building a menu in his head. It reminds me of when someone asks a programmer to design a blog/website/etc.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#13

Post by ganesh_hobbeez » Tue, Aug 09, 2016, 5:47 AM UTC

When I look back, good times with family and friends brings happiness. :) When I look back at the bad program written, feel like 'Did I write this so studpidly?' brings sadness. :(

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#14

Post by mratzloff » Tue, Aug 09, 2016, 5:47 AM UTC

pikachu_is_cool wrote: post #3

I sometimes wonder how much my life would be different if I never got into this. Programming is such a big part of my life now. I frequently consider how much of my brain power goes to programming; and I have to say it's about 20%. If there were five of me, one of them would basically be a computer. I wonder what that fifth of my brain would have been thinking about for the past 10 years, if not programming. Maybe it…

At this point, the only "hobby" I have is programming. I don't even know what else I like anymore.

Well, that's on you, but the good news is that you can change that as soon as you want. Why not start today?

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#15

Post by jleehey » Tue, Aug 09, 2016, 5:50 AM UTC

bowmessage wrote: post #2

What's it like to date / be married to another programmer? I've always wondered if this would help or hinder the relationship.

My wife and I are both programmers, and as a bonus we also work at the same company :) We may have an easier situation as our specialties are different (I'm a mobile developer and she works server side) but we have never really had any issues at all. As long as both sides keep open minds to information and drop any defensive attitudes, it works out great. Basically, when talking about programming and work, we treat each other as a resource and colleagues rather than a romantically involved couple. It has also made us better programmers as we have any extra point of view when tackling our problems.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#16

Post by Etheryte » Tue, Aug 09, 2016, 5:51 AM UTC

KaiLe1 wrote: post #7

One of the healthy relationships to have with other people is to unionize and share experiences. It is kind of sick to hear about programmers pulling 60+ hour weeks digging the grave of the fellow next to them because they are not culture-fit or good programmers by their standards. The establishment knows this, that's why it squeezes out of you every penny it can get, getting you to feel that you are the greatest pro…

Was going to upvote you for your other points, but then you came along with the "I'm sure I'll get flagged" nonsense.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#17

Post by aadilmfarooqui » Tue, Aug 09, 2016, 6:06 AM UTC

That's a good tip to discuss the work with family when working at home on weekends especially, as they have no idea of the problems a developer faces when working remotely on weekends.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#18

Post by Kiro » Tue, Aug 09, 2016, 6:13 AM UTC

> Relationships are a key part of being happy

Is this really true for everyone? I sacrificed my relationship because I prioritize my projects and I've never been happier. I can't imagine getting into another since it would mean compromises I'm not willing to make.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#19

Post by Trundle » Tue, Aug 09, 2016, 6:14 AM UTC

pikachu_is_cool wrote: post #3

I sometimes wonder how much my life would be different if I never got into this. Programming is such a big part of my life now. I frequently consider how much of my brain power goes to programming; and I have to say it's about 20%. If there were five of me, one of them would basically be a computer. I wonder what that fifth of my brain would have been thinking about for the past 10 years, if not programming. Maybe it…

Listening to the little nagging voice of career sensibility stops being a good idea if you're not going to then turn that quality salary and employment security in to a base for a fun life.

If not programming, that 20% of your brain would have been thinking about whatever else it is you did for a job.

Re: How to Have Healthy Relationships as a Developer

#20

Post by skeletonjelly » Tue, Aug 09, 2016, 6:17 AM UTC

Kiro wrote: post #18

> Relationships are a key part of being happy Is this really true for everyone? I sacrificed my relationship because I prioritize my projects and I've never been happier. I can't imagine getting into another since it would mean compromises I'm not willing to make.

Probably an implied "good" modifier in there.

Good relationships are a key part of being happy.

Bad relationships...not so much