This is utter bullshit. Let the fucking kid enjoy some self-esteem. Focusing on improving his "motivation" instead of his well-being is manipulative and can backfire in so many ways. Just let him be. Fuck the productivity way of life.
Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
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Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#42Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#43TL;DR: If you're interacting with a kid, try to avoid saying, "you're so smart!" and instead say, "You've picked this up really quickly" or "you're such a hard worker". If you tell a child they are smart then they will stop trying either because they assume they can get by on their intelligence or because they are afraid of failing and loosing your praise about how smart they are.
for example, Now the child has learned associate praise( and love) with being a hard worker. This is now his framework for his life, a prison he can never escape.
I think this a form of child abuse, to destroy child's spirit with praises, comparisons etc. Yet society sees this a something positive. Why can't children learn for their own enjoyment, kids already have great deal of intrinsic motivation why do we need to praise him.
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#44TL;DR: If you're interacting with a kid, try to avoid saying, "you're so smart!" and instead say, "You've picked this up really quickly" or "you're such a hard worker". If you tell a child they are smart then they will stop trying either because they assume they can get by on their intelligence or because they are afraid of failing and loosing your praise about how smart they are.
Kids are hard.
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#45What's the general impact on a child's motivational levels after being called "stupid" and/or "lazy"?
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#46Could it not be equally harmful to a smart kid to give them the impression that their intelligence is worthless? It seems there should be a balance where kids retain their motivation while also learning how to make the most of their personal advantages and disadvantages. If a smart kid is always taught the convenient fiction that everyone is exactly the same, then when they interact with an athletic kid who dominates…
By reinforcing the action, you help a kid understand that it is their effort that led to the achievement, which encourages the kid to make efforts when she wants something.
Reinforcing the characteristic, on the other hand, suggests that it is the kid's innate characteristics that led to the achievement, which encourages them to defend that identity.
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#47Stop trying to game your kids. Praise them whatever. Love, security, praise, attention, just go for it. I doubt very much that all the noise around raising children can be filtered out to be able to differentiate between sentences. Just raise kids with love and fun.
Do not patronize, and do not try to apply cookie cutter logic. Be nice, be honest and pay attention to their individual qualities.
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#48EDIT: What i wrote about lesson was not meant in a good way. As someone said in comments i was punished for being different - that was the lesson.
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#49http://slatestarcodex.com/2015/04/08/no-clarity-around-growt...
http://slatestarcodex.com/2015/04/10/i-will-never-have-the-a...
http://slatestarcodex.com/2015/04/22/growth-mindset-3-a-pox-...
http://slatestarcodex.com/2015/05/07/growth-mindset-4-growth...
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#50He is also fucking lucky... Which helps ! Winning the startup lottery does not equal being a life role model. I would not generalize on such people.
Ha you should watch Thiels talk at SXSW on luck, just to get the whole picture / his context.