He is also fucking lucky... Which helps ! Winning the startup lottery does not equal being a life role model. I would not generalize on such people.
Ha you should watch Thiels talk at SXSW on luck, just to get the whole picture / his context.
Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
21–30 of 166 posts
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#22Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#23This is utter bullshit. Let the fucking kid enjoy some self-esteem. Focusing on improving his "motivation" instead of his well-being is manipulative and can backfire in so many ways. Just let him be. Fuck the productivity way of life.
Your reaction is like an Ostrich burying its head in the sand. A profane Ostrich.
It's unwise to ignore the unintended consequences of your actions, and that's still true even if you wish said consequences didn't exist.
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#24TL;DR: If you're interacting with a kid, try to avoid saying, "you're so smart!" and instead say, "You've picked this up really quickly" or "you're such a hard worker". If you tell a child they are smart then they will stop trying either because they assume they can get by on their intelligence or because they are afraid of failing and loosing your praise about how smart they are.
Yes. This is also why I nudge my kids to try things that require work no matter the ability (say chess, where there are always better players) versus things graded against a narrow peer group (Say math, where once you're "at level" the teacher pays less attention.)
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#25This is utter bullshit. Let the fucking kid enjoy some self-esteem. Focusing on improving his "motivation" instead of his well-being is manipulative and can backfire in so many ways. Just let him be. Fuck the productivity way of life.
You can let the kid enjoy self-esteem, by praising their hard work.
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#26Earlier quoted context omitted.
In addition, the work being praised needs to be effective.
I disagree. If your child does something to the absolute best of his/her abilities, but is not very effective, isn't that still praiseworthy? I have a two year old who exhibits no mastery of the English language, but I praise her when she tries out a new word on for size and keeps attempting to perfect it.
You're praising effective practicing habits. You can praise learning from mistakes. That's great.
I always took "A for effort" to be extremely patronizing because I was trying to do the thing right.
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#27Stop trying to game your kids. Praise them whatever. Love, security, praise, attention, just go for it. I doubt very much that all the noise around raising children can be filtered out to be able to differentiate between sentences. Just raise kids with love and fun.
"Caplan argues that parents spend too much time trying to influence how their kids will turn out as adults. Using research on twins and adopted children, Caplan argues that nature dominates nurture and that parents have little lasting influence on many aspects of their children's lives. He concludes that parents should spend less time and energy trying to influence their children" [1]
[1]: http://www.econtalk.org/archives/2011/05/caplan_on_paren.htm...
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#28This is utter bullshit. Let the fucking kid enjoy some self-esteem. Focusing on improving his "motivation" instead of his well-being is manipulative and can backfire in so many ways. Just let him be. Fuck the productivity way of life.
> This is utter bullshit. Let the fucking kid enjoy some self-esteem.
You don't think a person can have self-esteem based on their work ethic?
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#29Could it not be equally harmful to a smart kid to give them the impression that their intelligence is worthless? It seems there should be a balance where kids retain their motivation while also learning how to make the most of their personal advantages and disadvantages.
If a smart kid is always taught the convenient fiction that everyone is exactly the same, then when they interact with an athletic kid who dominates them at sports but struggles academically, what conclusion will the smart kid draw?
And finally, is this "praise effort and self esteem" movement responsible for the current wave of anti-free-speech protests on college campuses?
Re: Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation (1998) [pdf]
#30This is utter bullshit. Let the fucking kid enjoy some self-esteem. Focusing on improving his "motivation" instead of his well-being is manipulative and can backfire in so many ways. Just let him be. Fuck the productivity way of life.
[deleted]